The Sunday Swap Meet Is A Battle Ground

For as long as I can remember, I've always been really good at "the swap". Ever since elementary school when I got Eric Frantz to give up a Sims skateboard (Jeff Phillips model), a skate key, an AM/FM walkman and a tabletop Frogger video game in exchange for a cheapie toy-store paintball gun, I usually come out with the better end of the deal whenever a trade is involved. My girlfriend recently mentioned my VW Bus to her father, and he told her that he had an old friend who was a VW nut that might be interested in buying it. I've been halfheartedly considering it for a while, since I haven't been able to find the time or space to work on it - diehard VW aficionados would rather see the vehicles go to use rather than rot in a yard. Seeing anyone put a VW to use is better than seeing it go to the crusher. (Except for dune buggy freaks, who only want to steal transmissions from buses. Screw those guys).

I wrote up a brief description of the Bus and sent it with some pictures to her Dad to forward to his friend. Since I already had the description and pictures ready to go, I decided to post an ad on The Samba. I included the words that always make the classifieds game much more entertaining - "Will consider trades". So far I have been offered:

-A set of 20" rims & tires (those would look great on my Honda)
-A 75 gallon fishtank (no, but I'm sure the cats would love it)
-A M1911 Colt .45 pistol (hmmm... neat, but I don't really need more guns)
-A 1978 MG Midget rally car (which I wouldn't even fit in)
-A custom-built guitar w/ Gibson body & Fender Jaguar neck (huh?)
-A 1985 Honda CR125 (too small)
-A 1960 VW Bus (cool, but an even bigger project than I have now)
-A Mexican Fender Jazz bass (might knock a couple hundred off for this)
...and a Bultaco Metralla 250 (very cool, but the last thing I need is another bike. Especially a dirt bike. Especially a dirt bike that hasn't been made for 20+ years from a long-defunct company).

Several people have looked so far, with the ever popular "I gotta ask my wife" and "I'll have the money next week" already making appearances. Several more are scheduled for the weekend, I'll let you know how it goes...

Father Christmas, Give Us Some Money

Have yourself a merry merry Christmas
Have yourself a good time
But remember the kids who got nothin'
While you're drinkin' down your wine

-D_G

You Can't Tuna Fish

I drove 3 hours round trip today, and have at least that much per day over the next four days in order to visit everyone on the Xmas list this year. On top of that, I (stupidly) decided to pick up the girlfriend's Xmas gift myself:



Trust me, whatever the piano movers quote you, it's worth it.

Smell The Glove

A few weeks ago, I went to a charity auction put on by my girlfriend's employer. I actually won lots 'o stuff, but the one I was really gunning for was a new pair of Rocky Boots. I did win them, but they were four sizes too small - no matter, they came with a certificate stating they could be exchanged, and their factory outlet store was on the way home, so we swung by.

The store turned out to be incredibly cool - a huge, three story warehouse filled with all manner of outdoor clothing, camping gear, tools, etc. I actually drove by the store every few months while I was in college - I always meant to stop, but never did. Probably for the best, since I was perpetually broke back then (as opposed to "occasionally not broke" now). One of the items I picked up while I was there was a pair of fingerless gloves - I learned the value of these while I was working in an ice house in high school & college. I spent all day in a giant freezer with augers, conveyor belts, trap doors and automatic cutting machines. 80% of the time you want your hand to be completely covered to stay as warm as possible, but if you had to twiddle with the machinery, you would lose a finger if you try to do it while wearing winter gloves (I saw several people mangled in my tenure). I solved this problem by going across the street to the surplus store and buying cheap USAF glove liners, cutting the fingers off, and putting a pair of heavy canvas gardening gloves over them. The heavy canvas gloves held up better & dried out faster than winter gloves, and with a snap of your wrists your could shuck them off (think of a hockey player in a melee) and quickly manipulate whatever piece of equipment that was about to give out and back up the whole line. The fingerless gloves would then keep you warm enough until you got a second to retrieve your other gloves.

The thing that made the ones I bought different was that they had a flip-down mitten, that was secured by velcro when not being used:




















I thought this was pretty slick - I am still likely to need to twiddle with something, although nowadays it is usually my camera, MP3 player, or cell phone. Anyways, last week I headed out to class to take the last of my finals, and I got to try my new gloves out for the first time, as the temperature was rapidly approaching single digits. After class I decided to walk over to the campus bookstore to sell my textbooks, and get some extra cash to finish my Xmas shopping. Apparently the college was letting a local youth organization use the gymnasium that evening for some sort of awards ceremony, and I encountered lots of cold, confused people asking me for directions. That's when I learned an important lesson:

Nothing looks dumber than a guy trying to point while wearing mittens.

Thinking 'bout The People Upside-Down In Japan

I subscribe to lots of mailing lists - Volkswagen lists, guitar lists, computers lists, etc. Problem is I really don't have much time to read the (sometimes hundreds of) emails that come through every day, so I usually just get them in a daily digest form and give them a cursory glance to see if there's anything useful to me in that particular one. I glanced through one of the Volkswagen lists the other day and was surprised to see a reference to "Bob Hoover's blog". Bob Hoover is as close to a guru as you can get in the Volkswagen community. He made a great number of posts to the Volkswagen lists & groups in the burgeoning days of the Internet that were full of practical advice, useful tips & tricks, and were a great read to boot. These became known as "The Sermons of Bob Hoover" and were greatly prized by many Volkswagen enthusiasts and were collected on web sites, hard drives, passed around on bulletin boards and newsgroups - at one point, an aftermarket supply house was even selling a CD-ROM with all them in text file format. The Internet being what it is, for every 100 people who enjoyed and were helped by these essays, there would be one wiseacre who had to chime in and tell Bob that he was wrong, or that wasn't how Dieter (the $100-per-hour mechanic at the local Haus of Imports) did it. One thing made abundantly clear in Mr. Hoover's writing is that he doesn't suffer fools gladly in real life, so you can be damn sure he wasn't going to put with the electronic version of a jackass - he quietly asked people to take down his postings from web sites, stop selling the CD-ROMS, and greatly reduced his on-line presence in general. It is my understanding that he was perfectly willing to help you if you asked, but he was (understandably) miffed at people slinging unsolicited criticism at him for what was clearly a labor of love. The sermons still popped up occasionally on a bulletin board or a hastily-authored web page, but they never lasted very long. I was glad to see that Mr. Hoover has created his own blog and has posted the original sermons, which range from eminently practical to entertaining to philosophical. Check 'em out.

One Arm Wing Steve...

...was delicious!

Steve In The Bread Pan, Pickin' Out Dough...

Through a chain of events far too convoluted to recount here, I went from having Thanksgiving dinner at my Mom's house, to having it at my girlfriend's house with her family, to having it at my house with just me & her (which is just fine by me). We did the shopping for the dinner on Sunday and while we were putting the groceries away, she told me that we had to name the turkey. "What?" I asked. "You have to name the turkey before you cook it," she said. "Isn't that a bit macabre?" I asked. She assured me that it wasn't - it was a long-standing tradition in her family, and I better shut up and stop teasing her if I knew what was good for me (she might have implied that last part). "Fine", I told her, "I christen this turkey "Steve"". She told me that wasn't a proper name for a turkey, and I informed her that it was my turkey, I bought it, and since naming a dead bird carcass was approaching the high side of crazy anyways, it's name was Steve. "Fine", she sighed. She emailed me today and reminded me to take Steve out of the freezer, so I put him in the fridge to thaw before I went to class. I told one of my co-workers that I had Steve chillin' in the fridge (pun intended) so we would be ready to put him in the oven on Thursday. I guess since at least three of my co-workers are named Steve, the odd looks I received are understandable. Ah well, my brain is fried from building four custom databases and three Novell servers in a week, so I'm looking forward to eating Steve with all the trimmings. Have a good Thanksgiving, everybody...

Aint' No Smoggy Smoke On Rocky Top

Got my 35mm pics from vacation developed, and I had a few that I was pretty pleased with - I finally got to experiment with the 16mm lens I bought a while back, now I just have to learn to keep my damn hands out of the frame. It's interesting that even though digital cameras can rival the quality of film nowadays, the pictures I shoot with my 35mm camera have a distinctly different "feel" to them - I think it's because with my digital camera & a 1GB memory card I can store well over a thousand pictures, so I shoot pretty indiscriminately - this results in pictures that have much more of a "snapshot" quality (which isn't necessarily a bad thing). I think that this actually makes me a better shooter when I do use film, as I am much more deliberate with lens choice, composition, etc., when I finally do drag out the 35mm rig. I am seriously considering a digital SLR in the not-too-distant future, since they are rapidly approaching the "not-entirely-ridiculous" price range, and I won't have to get rid of all my glass. I wonder how it will affect my photography...

Breathe, Breathe In The Air

Hey everybody, back from vacation. Sure is pretty in the mountains this time of year. I was going to do a write up on the vacation with pics & such, but the girlfriend beat me to it - head over to her site if you want to read it (Caution: do not proceed if you harbor any delusions about my secret identity). I still have to get my 35mm film developed, and there's a photography contest that's run by the local entertainment newspaper coming up that I like to enter every year - I took some shots of waterfalls with my fish-eye lens that I think might be very, very cool if they came out. I will post some here as soon as I get them developed.

I spent several hundred dollars more than I intended to on vacation and there was an unexpected $700 bill waiting in my mailbox when I returned home (attorney fees from a matter that I thought was long resolved) so that's just great - looks like I'm going to have to suck up as much overtime as possible at work for a couple of months.

Shortly before I left, my doctor diagnosed me with sleep apnea - which makes sense, considering I haven't gotten a good night's sleep in about seventeen years. The cure involves learning to sleep with a mask attached to my face that is connected to a CPAP machine. This is a lot harder than it sounds - so far, the routine has been 1.) Get ready for bed, 2.) put on mask, 3.) lie awake for three hours, 4.) yank off mask in frustration and fall asleep, and 5.) wake up feeling like crap. Luckily there is a pretty active online community of people dealing with this, and apparently it's a pretty rough thing to get used to, so I don't feel too bad. My biggest worry was that it would freak out my girlfriend, but she's been really supportive about the whole thing (I think she prefers the mask to my snoring).

I need to winterize the bike and put it on the battery tender, don't want to have to drop another $100 on a battery again next year. Lots of people getting in the last rides of the year around here lately, hopefully this month will stay mild enough that I can do the same...

Lazin' On A Sunny Afternoon...

Off for a vacation, everyone. Lots to catch you up on when I return, see you in a week.

Born To Be Wild?

Okay, this is just taking it too goddamn far.

On Streets We Call The Zoo

No moto-related news as of now... me & Meine Freundin had a lovely weekend - we've been spending a lot of time together, but we're usually both so stressed from work thatwe wind up locking ourselves in the house for the weekend. While I have no complaints about that, I decided a proper date was in order - so we spent the day at the zoo, followed by a great lunch. I took plenty of pics, here are some of my favorites...

Put The Lime In The Coconut

My former roommate went on a cruise last week, and we had the following conversation before he left:

Him: "You want anything from the Bahamas?"
Me: "Coconut monkey."

When I got to work tonight, this was sitting on my desk:



That fucking rules.

Fear Is The Heart Of Love

I apologize for my extended absence, but there was another death in the family - my Dad's sister passed away last week. She had been treated for cancer several years ago, and when I went to Pittsburgh for my grandmother's funeral back in January she told me that the cancer had returned and was attacking her liver. She told me she was going back into treatment, but I had a feeling it was bad. To be honest, I was always a little scared of her - she was the Aunt that had the huge house like a museum where I wasn't allowed to touch anything, I was only allowed to play in my Uncle's den, where I wasn't allowed to be a kid. After Grandma's funeral, we all went out to lunch and I probably had my first real, adult conversation with her. Nothing special, just small talk, but I got the feeling that she was seeing me as a grown man for the first time. As we walked back to our cars she held my hand and kissed me goodbye. We followed them through town across the bridge, then turned off to the turnpike. She was the last one alive in my Dad's family, and it was the last time I would ever see her.

So Much Material, But Not Materialistic

...so I was playing around on the Dell website the other day, and I wound up configuring a laptop that was pretty beefy (for my needs, anyway) at a pretty good price, although I wasn't seriously planning on buying it - my employer offers interest-free loans for employees to purchase computers, so that's the route I usually take. Unfortunately, this program is currently being revamped, and anyways, Dell isn't one of the preferred vendors. I saw the "apply for Dell Preferred Credit" and decided to give it a shot just for laughs - my credit kinda went through the wringer following an extended layoff after the events of 9/11, and I thought "There's no way these clowns will approve me". Well, the guy working the credit desk in Bangalore must've been asleep on the job, because they approved me for a $3K credit line (more than they approved my girlfriend for last year, which pissed her off). So, I guess I have a new laptop on the way (although I'm dreading returning to Windows on my primary machine after the shiny happy experience that is OS X).

The only combustion-related news is that I might be getting a new truck - my stepdad has a friend who is recently divorced, and the ex-wife & kid relocated a few hours away. Since he is driving 300+ miles a couple of times a month, he wants to unload his truck for a Prius since the cost of gas is killing him. He gave my stepdad a stupid cheap price for his truck, and in return my stepdad said he would sell me his truck for below wholesale if I want it, since it's been so reliable and he'd like to see someone he knows end up with it. Now, he's the kind of guy who is major-league obsessive about his vehicles - he used to be a partner in one of the premiere hot rod/custom shops in the state back in the day. He's done every bit of maintenance on the truck himself, and has been running Mobil 1 synthetic since the day he brought it home. The truck has a lot of miles, but I'm completely confident it will last another ten years without a hiccup if treated right. It's not 4-wheel drive, which I would really like (since I am considered an "essential employee", I have to report to work even during Level 1 snow emergencies). I'm still on the fence - by the time I get a loan, full-coverage insurance (liability only right now - ~$175/yr. for two cars), and factor in the extra cost for gas, it might not be worth my while - but it sure would be nice to have a vehicle less than 10 years old with some bells & whistles for once (I haven't had a car that had working A/C for fifteen years). Ah well, it'll be up to the folks at the credit union anyway, I'll let you know...

I'm taking a couple days off before the weekend - me & the girlfriend are making a mini-vacation out of it (which will probably consist of locking ourselves in the house, turning off all phones & pagers, & watching DVD's and hanging out for a few days). Seeya next week...

How Can You Have Any Pudding If You Don't Eat Your Meat

Although I have peers who have far greater dedication to pizza than I do, I was seriously craving a homemade pizza for the past week. When I went to the grocery store the other day I picked up some crusts, sauce, all the toppings, etc. The next day I got everything out and whipped up a masterpiece of a pizza, turned on the oven, and threw it in. 20 minutes later I came back and opened the oven door to see my creation... still uncooked?!? Hmmmm. The oven was on. I tried one of the burners - nothing. I called the gas company to see if I forgot to pay the bill, and she said the 'tards working on putting in new water mains across the street cut the line. So I had to come home from work in the morning and stay up waiting for the gas company to come out, turn the gas back on at the curb, and re-light all my appliances. On top of that, today was the first day of school in my neighborhood - meaning lots of kiddies (& parents) probably didn't have any hot water for their showers. Bet that went over big. They've also broken the water main twice, and have had the road in front of my house torn up for months with no end in sight. No real point here, I'm just frustrated and felt like bitching...

One-Armed Paper Hanger

Hey all, been super busy with meatworld stuff lately - work has been a mess, and one of the disadvantages of being a semi-talented amateur videographer/photographer is that every time there's a wedding/anniversary party/dance recital in the family, you're automatically enlisted to shoot & edit it, along with providing prints & DVD's with interactive menus and full-color box art. The other disadvantage is that while you're good enough to entrust with these precious memories, you're apparently not good enough to get paid for it. Ah well, at least it's something I genuinely enjoy doing for people - otherwise I'd just be getting calls to help people move...

I had nothing motorcycle-related to mention, until this morning: I went out to check out some video games (I bought a PSP, which is also putting a major dent in my productivity) and on the way to the store, I saw four bikes coming up in my rearview mirror. This usually worries me, being that Ohio is home to all sorts of squidly dumbasses who ride in packs. These bikes didn't seem to be moving too fast, though. As they passed me I glanced over - there were four of them, and the three in the lead were in tight formation all on brand new Yamaha FJR's (*drool*) with Givi cases. They were all wearing Aerostitch suits and matching helmets. It was badass, like a team of sport-touring ninjas or something. (For a minute I thought maybe Alton Brown and his cronies were making their way through town). I noticed that the third rider was a woman, and she had something on her helmet:

I thought it was awesome. I bet they guy bringing up the rear on the canary-yellow Vulcan was sick of looking at them, though.

Like A Band Of Gypsies We Go Down The Highway

Well, I finally got the new battery in the bike and went riding for about an hour this evening - the bike still needs an oil change, new plugs probably wouldn't be a bad idea, and about a full day's worth of detailing (damn my chrome addiction!) but I forgot how therapeutic a ride can be. I've been mobbed at work and am knee-deep in my first serious romantic relationship in quite some time, all of which has kept my mind racing 24/7 lately. Riding is a great release precisely because I can't think about those things when I'm on the bike - I'm too busy watching the soccer mom in the minivan closing fast with her left blinker on.

The ride today also reaffirmed that I'm a dyed-in-the-wool cruiser guy, something I've almost felt apologetic for in the past. Due to my friends & contemporaries' obsession with track days and the latest in literbike technology, I sometimes feel like the dinosaur lumbering around in a herd of fleet-footed mammals that appeared out of nowhere. I remembered a column William Gibson wrote about his obsession with collecting mechanical watches where he said, "They're pointless yet needful, comforting precisely because they require tending." To me, V-Twins are the same way - even the elaborately engineered Japanese ones are remarkably uncivilized. They're loud, inefficient, and archaic. You have to constantly listen to the feedback the bike is giving you and interpret what it means. I can tell you exactly what's going on with my engine by listening to it at speed, loading the engine on a downhill, or snapping the throttle shut in second. I can tell you when maintenance is due by ear while other guys need to break out exhaust-gas analyzers and feeler gauges. Your bike might do 10's in the quarter mile, but mine talks to me. This is everything motorcycling should be to me. Watch The Wild One and keep your eye on Lee Marvin, maybe you'll understand.

Remember that we're all on the road together - it's not what you ride, it's how you ride it.

Like Salsa Picante De Nana Funkenstein

Man, it's been hot here. Too damn hot. I had two co-workers that had their cars go down due to radiator/cooling troubles. I installed a new thermostat & return filters at the compound and had the A/C turned off at the breaker for an hour, and when I turned it back on it took almost 5 hours to get the house cooled back down. So hot I wish this would have worked.

The good news is I was able to find a battery in stock at a local dealership, and it was even cheaper than expected and an OEM part (no modifications necessary). The bad news is due to the heat & other projects, I wasn't able to get it in yet. Meine Freundin is coming over to spend the weekend with me and promised to make me baked chicken for dinner tommorrow, so don't expect to hear from me until the first of the week...

Smashing Through The Boundaries, Lunacy Has Found Me

Bleargh - I went to three different places to pick up a battery for the bike, and nobody had one in stock. The guys at my closest dealership were nice enough to order some for backstock so I didn't have to pre-pay, but when it comes in it gonna cost me a hundred and twenty dollars. My bike is a lot nicer than the claptrap UJM's I had for years, but at least for those I could go to Pep Boys and buy a battery for $25 (of course, I had to buy one practically every year...) The YUASA chart that I looked up the battery on had a footnote that said *hold-down must be modified* - in a perfect world that would mean I have to slightly adjust the rubber strap that holds the battery down, but in my world it usually involves a dremel and working perilously close to the wiring harness & my custom paint job.

Work has been a drag this week - in addition to my regular shift I had to go in for training for the new computer systems that will be going in next month. Ah well, I have a long weekend planned with meine Freundin that I am looking forward to. The plan is to get the bike all tuned up first thing next week, check back for pics (and maybe my first video post?) We'll see...

Beans Don't Burn On The Grill

Sheesh, nobody told me that a roommate moving out would be almost as much work as moving myself - when you have two people living together who both have waaay too much stuff, and one leaves, reordering the stuff that's left to fill the suddenly available space (and cleaning said space) is a lot of work. On top of that, I've been dating someone new (and having a great time, I might add). I've noticed a marked slowdown in the blogging of my contemporaries as well as myself (hopefully due to summertime fun) so I don't feel so bad.

The only moto-related content to mention is that I saw a kickass Goldwing for sale by my house - with a matching sidecar. Sweet! It's completely not my style and undoubtedly way out of my price range, but I think I'll stop and take a look anyway. If I remember, I'll grab some pics...

Alligator Lizards In The Air

I sitting at a stoplight on the drive home from work the other day when a bright red motorcycle going through the intersection caught my eye - it was a Honda Pacific Coast, a bike I've always had a soft spot for. As much as I dig the vibe of V-twin cruisers and the unapologetic impracticality of built-for-speed literbikes, there's something cool about a bike that is built to be completely utilitarian above everything else. The Pacific Coast was a bike for guys who thought the ST1100 was too flashy - a bike that was as reliable as a stone axe, able to commute to work and back and stop for a couple of bags of groceries on the way home. It was, well, the Honda Civic of motorcycles. Most of the guys you see riding them in the Midwest are the truly hardcore - the guys who don't even own a car, just an electric vest and a one-piece textile suit. Plus, they're so freakin' ugly that they're kinda cool - like a prop from a bad sci-fi movie. They look like they should be sitting in the parking lot next to a 6000 SUX.

One bit of good news on the personal front- I found out that both the father & the brother of the lovely young lady that I've been seeing are avid riders, so I'm unlikely to get any friction about that. You know, one less thing...

Does He Bleed Black & Gold?

As a devout Steelers fan and motorcyclist, this made me cringe:

PITTSBURGH, June 13 — The condition of quarterback Ben Roethlisberger of the Steelers, injured in a motorcycle accident Monday while not wearing a helmet, was upgraded today from serious to fair condition, and doctors at Mercy Hospital said he could be released later this week... Doctors confirmed his injuries: fractures to his upper and lower jaws; a mild concussion; a fractured nose; fractured facial bones; multiple head lacerations; multiple abrasions; two lost teeth; and several chipped teeth.

I'm a big Roethlisberger fan not only because he's the Steeler's quarterback, but also an Ohio native and a fellow MAC alum, so my first reaction was concern. My second reaction was: what a dumbass. You go 13-0 your rookie year, pocket $12 million dollars in bonuses, win the superbowl your second season, and you go out and ride the fastest sportbike made WITHOUT A HELMET!?!?! I'd wear a helmet in the shower everyday if my health was worth $12 million dollars. Sheesh.

On the personal front, I didn't get a chance to get a battery for the bike since my roommate has started moving out this week and I've been helping him with that. On the bright side of things, I had a date last weekend that went great - we're getting together again this weekend to see Gone With The Wind. (If you're lucky enough to have any historic theaters in your area, lots of them have summer movie festivals. Check 'em out and see what's playing this summer).

Grrrrr...

...I finally got a chance to do the spring service on the bike today. When I went to warm it up before changing the oil, the battery is totally flat (even though I had it on a float charger for most of the winter). Ah well, I got longer than expected out of it anyway - 5 years, I think (my Honda CB650 demanded a new battery every season, but that might have been due to intermittent electrical gremlins/buying cheap batteries). No riding for me until I get to the shop to pick one up...

Come On You Stranger, You Legend, You Martyr

Wow, I didn't realize it had been so long since I've posted. I have no excuse, other than it was pretty nice out last week and I'm tethered to a computer for 8+ hours a day already.

Spring in Ohio lasted it's traditional 72 hours before the 92-degree heat set in, and now we're getting pummeled by thunderstorms, but I did manage to get a nice barbecue in with some friends for Memorial Day. One cool thing that happened: That weekend, all the dandelions in the state dropped their blooms at the same time. I mean, they were everywhere. You couldn't walk outside without being in a cloud of them. Even driving down the freeway at 70+ MPH, they were floating into the car by the dozens. (I was actually thankful that I let my doctor talk me into taking some allergy medication this year). When I was driving home at dusk, it was pretty cloudy. Right as I drove under a bridge, the sun broke through the clouds, illuminating all the tiny dandelion seeds floating on the air for a split second. At that exact moment, the first verse of one of my favorite songs started playing on the radio:

Remember when you were young

You shone like the sun

I'm sorry Syd Barrett went crazy and all, but that was awesome.

Get Off My Lawn!

Guns N' Roses is conspiring to make me feel old.

Really.

It all started last year, when I went to a club to see a FOAF's band that was coming to town. It was an 18-and-up show, and the girl working the door looked to be about nineteen. I noticed she was wearing a Guns N' Roses T-shirt - a shirt that I used to own. A shirt, in fact, that I bought after seeing them in Dayton, OH my junior year in high school - I remember it was right in the middle of mid-term exams, and due to what I can only assume was one of Axl Rose's trademark hissy fits, the show started about three hours late. I didn't get home until almost 4 o'clock in the morning, and I bombed my biology exam.

The problem was, this girl wasn't wearing the shirt in a "Hey-I-went-to-this-show" way - she was wearing it in a "I'm-so-retro-with-this-vintage-shirt-and-my-Hot-Topic- leopard-print-handbag" way. When I said, "Hey, I used to have that same shirt", she gave me a look that said "That's great, Gramps, try not to fall down and break your hip on our dance floor". Then, while flipping past MTV a few days later, I saw some snot-nosed punk wearing another G'N'R shirt I owned in high school - a shirt that was made when he was still in diapers.

Friday night I went out with a group of friends to celebrate one couple's tenth anniversary. That freaked me out a little, that I knew some people that had actually been married for ten whole years of their lives. Later that weekend I saw this article about Axl Rose and Tommy Hilfiger getting into a fight (I guess it's good to know that some things never change - namely, Axl Rose's ability to be a two-bit thug), and noticed it contained the following line:

"According to the 44-year-old singer..."

My first thought was, "Wait, that can't be right. That would mean the heyday of G'N'R was almost twenty years ago." So, I went to Wikipedia and looked it up. Appetite For Destruction came out in 1987.

Nineteen years ago.

Shit.

I bought that album the summer before I started high school. I vividly remember wearing my Walkman while mowing the lawn, listening to that album at full blast all summer.

Shit.

On top of all this, Axl Rose's appearance isn't helping matters any.

No Recess

My bathroom sink was stopped up last week, so I poured some drain opener down it, but that didn't work. Later on in the day I went to the hardware store and bought some industrial-strength drain opener and a drain auger. I put some of the wicked cautic drain opener down the sink and go to work with the drain auger. It starts to drain after a few minutes, so I was happy - until I hear a funny noise and notice that there's water leaking onto the floor. I open the cabinet under the sink, and realize that I punched a hole in the P-trap with the drain auger. After much cursing I get everything cleaned up and think, "Okay, I've seen every episode of Ask This Old House, I can handle replacing a P-trap". I go downstairs and get the Stillson wrench and start taking the pipes apart, and they're so old that they're literally crumbling. After a couple more trips to the hardware store I get sick of messing with it and decide I'll just call the plumber tommorrow (Luckily I have another bathroom I can use). So later on I'm sitting around watching that David Blaine special. It gets right to the end of the show and I hear an odd noise from the kitchen - I get up and turn on the light and see water pouring down the wall from my ceiling. I run upstairs to the bathroom and see water pouring out of the sink cabinet. I start throwing towels down as fast as I can, and notice that they are rapidly changing colors. It seems that the plumbing systems are connected for the adjoining units in my complex - my neighbor noticed her sink was running slow, so she decided to pour bleach and hot water down the drain, where it proceeded to run directly out onto my bathroom floor and down into the kitchen. On top of that, one of the cats must have gotten into some of the water that dripped onto the counter and proceeded to crap and throw up all over the house, and my hands reeked of bleach for two days. Now I'm gonna have to rip all the carpet out of the bathroom and put down tile or something. Sheesh.

The only good part of the past week was that I got to spend all day Saturday with my Mom to celebrate Mother's Day. While all my sisters ever bring to her house are minivans full of screaming kids, I took a different approach:



Two dozen roses - no wonder I'm the favorite.

I'm A Pincushion, Gotta Face the Facts

Hey all. Sorry for the lack of updates, but school has been kicking my butt this quarter, and it's gonna get worse before it gets better - I've got a mid-term on Sunday. While that definitely doesn't help my stress level, today I went to the doctor for my annual check-up and got inspected, poked, prodded, folded, stapled and mutilated, which is one of my least favorite things. Then my roommate tells me he's going to be moving out in a couple of months - not on bad terms or anything, he just wants to be closer to school & work (gas prices are killing him) so that will necessitate some belt-tightening on my part. It's kind of a catch-22, because I often thought that it would be nice to have the place all to myself and that I was getting a little old to have a roommate, but he's one of my best friends and we've lived together for seven years, so I'm sure it'll be weird when he's gone. Overall, not the best week.

Anyways, I stopped by my friendly local soul-sucking SuperUltraMegaMart for something the other day, and some guy was in the parking lot hawking CD's. Turns out he was part of a local group of rappers (what's the plural of "rappers"? Gaggle? Troop? Pod?) who've had some success locally with a song about the city that's gotten some airplay on the radio and used on some locally-produced TV shows (I think I heard it the other day on one of the local sports wrap-up shows). I gave him a few bucks for a CD, and noticed something: It looked damn good. I remember the days when my friends who were in bands would record to a Portastudio and spend hours dubbing tapes on their boomboxes and xeroxing black-and-white inserts. The CD I bought had a full-color laser printed cover that looked like it was shot by a professional photographer. I also noticed that it wasn't only a CD, it was also a "DVD magazine", so apparently there's some video content on it as well, although I haven't had a chance to look at that yet. The CD, along with the fact that I've been obsessed with podcasts lately, has me thinking about how far we've come in terms of producing and distributing content in the last twenty years, and how Hollywood and the RIAA are only trying to make things more difficult. But I realized it doesn't matter: I'm to the point were I could almost cut off my cable TV service and throw away all my radios & CD players, and I wouldn't really miss any of them. High-speed Internet access is dirt cheap, and if I was so inclined I could easily grab any TV shows I wanted via BitTorrent or Emule. Almost all of my radio listening has been replaced by podcasts - (the few show I do listen via a radio to are also available as podcasts if I wanted them). Spending as much time on the web as I do, a local band with a well-promoted website has a better chance of me noticing them than a giant cardboard cutout for the latest manufactured pop star at Blockbuster. I transfer all of this content, as well as files ripped from DVD's that I legally purchased, to my cell phone (although some people want to make that illegal). The entertainment industry is trying to hang on as long as they can, as evidenced by the many news stories that have been circulating in recent weeks. I urge you to get involved in protecting your rights by calling or writing your representatives or getting involved (at least read up!) via the many organizations and groups dedicated to consumer's rights.

Like A Wheel, Gonna Spin It

I spent the weekend in that weird state that occurs when you stay awake so long that your body resigns itself that sleep is just not going to happen, and your mind is pumped so full of caffeine that it's going 100 miles an hour. The bad part is, the reason was that I was cramming for a mid-term, and it didn't even happen (it was delayed for a couple weeks). I was so wired that I couldn't fall asleep for hours after I got home, although I eventually collapsed and slept for 14 hours straight.

Some closure/addendums to previous issues:

I blew out the cords in another tire the other day, and it was the last straw - I've been going through a set of low-profile tires every year at $700 a set, and I could pretty much count on destroying at least two tires before their life expectancy was up. I got the factory rims out of the shed and had them put back on. They don't look cool, but I figure it's one less thing I have to worry about. After that, I spent the afternoon repairing the banister I ripped out of the wall the other day.

I finally got around to picking up the supplies to give the bike an oil change, although I didn't enjoy the trip - In my experience, there are two kinds of motorcycle dealerships: ones that are purely sales oriented, run by profiteers and staffed by idiots. The second kind is usually smaller, run by people who love motorcycling/powersports and staffed by people who genuinely want to be ambassadors to the sport. The shop I went to was part of a chain in my area that is firmly in the first camp - the salesmen eyed me like vultures as I walked in, and the parts guy, while friendly enough, was clueless. As a former employee of one of the helpful shops, it was like chewing on tinfoil.

Finally, as an amateur photographer, I recently came across unphotographable.com and was fascinated. It reminded me that while a picture may be worth a thousands words, it's no match for the imagination...

Little Baby Goes Ha! (All Night Long)

I was hoping to get the bike out during the great weather this week, but I managed to trip and fall down the stairs, ripping the banister out of the wall & tweaking my ankle pretty good in the process. Besides being gimpy, I had a mid-term this week and was pet-sitting for some friends while they took care of something:



Congrats, Scotty & Jen!

Indiscriminate? I'd Rather Be Elite

And you thought your rat bike was hardcore...

(via Make)

100 Miles 100,000 Miles and Runnin'

On the way home from work Thursday:


I guess the Honda's officially broken in. Here's to another 100K...

When She's Ten Feet Tall

I read in an article that Volkswagen will return to using the "Rabbit" badge on the (former) Golf:

"The reintroduction of the Rabbit represents Volkswagen's commitment to this market and is a nod to the passionate North American enthusiasts who have an emotional connection with the Rabbit name."

I found this amusing because, as much as I love Volkswagens, I only have two memories regarding the "Rabbit name":

-One of my friends had a brother-in-law with a disastrous history of Volkswagen ownership, from a Karmann Ghia that is probably still rusting into a pile of dust on his mother-in-laws patio to a silver Rabbit that was a gigantic shitbox. Unaffectionately referred to as "The Ribbit", It had to be pop-started every single time he wanted to go anywhere, passengers were sickened from the multiple exhaust leaks, and the odds of making it to the intended destination were about 50/50 at best. He quickly became the guy that, when he called your house, you had to coarsely whisper "Tell him I'm not here!" to whoever answered the phone - otherwise, you invariably wound up driving to BFE to rescue him from another breakdown.

-Another friend of mine tragically lost her mother at a young age after an extended illness. However, due to prudent planning by her father, as well as a generous life insurance policy from her employer, the family was left in a very good situation financially. After my friend graduated high school, she was excited to be attending Ohio State University in the fall. Her father gave her some good news: He was going to buy her a new car to take to college. She was thrilled; her head was filled with images of her tooling around campus in her new candy-apple-red convertible, getting looks from all the college hunks. Figuring that they would start car shopping soon, she was understandably surprised when her father, with no advanced warning, brought home her new car just a few days later: A brand new Rabbit. In turd brown. With no options - nothing. 4-speed, no A/C, vinyl seats, AM radio. To him, this was an immensely practical purchase (after all, this was at the height of the Carter's energy crisis). Trouble is, he forgot that "practical" is the last word in a 19-year-old-girl's vocabulary. Naturally, she hated the car, but cared about her father's feelings too much to say anything. She drove that fugly thing for years and, much later, admitted that it had actually been a pretty good car. But she still would have rather had a new Camaro.

I Like To Be There When I Can

Back to normal - it was a crazy week, but I got to catch up with friends & family & spend time with my nieces & goddaughter, so that was fun. I got some DVD's (a few that I'll probably talk about here, after I watch them) but since most of my hobbies revolve around tech or music and my family is brain dead in that regard, everyone just gives me cash, which I combined with some Rat Shack gift cards from a mail-in rebate (that I had given up hope on receiving) to buy these:

The headphones are Bluetooth, which I think is the one of the coolest technologies to come around in a while (I know it's not exactly new, but I haven't had much experience with it until recently). When I got my Mac I thought it was extremely cool that I could sync my Treo from anywhere in the house without hooking up any wires, and now I can plug a tiny transmitter into my MP3 player/Treo/home stereo/computer and not have to deal with any wires at all (handy when I'm out & about, or at work). I also bought some software for the Mac, and found some other apps that will hopefully allow me to convert video recordings from my computer (running Beyond TV) to watch on the go. Man, I'm a geek - hopefully I will be getting the bike roadworthy this week, that should get me more in touch with my macho side...

Take A Cha-Cha-Cha-Chance

Sorry for the lack of content folks, it's my birthday this week and I've been enjoying spending time & catching up with friends & family in the real world (something I don't get to do often enough). Plus, I haven't paid for a dinner all week - bonus! I order all of you to go out and have some fun of your own, dammit!

Keep Your Hands Off My Stack

I seem to be hemorrhaging money lately - Besides all the usual bills this month, I was hit with a $200 assessment from the condo association for a new roof, my books for next quarter cost me $198, $158 went to the BMV for new tags, my notary commission needs to be renewed at $65, and, for the first time in my life, I had to pay money to the IRS. This was mostly due to a small inheritance from my father that bumped me up into a new tax bracket - an inheritance that was just enough to bury him and pay for the central air system that crapped out two days after I got the check. All of this is even after I had them withhold 10% of the inheritance money towards taxes, plus I usually take zero deductions and have an extra $10 taken out of my check every week so I get a healthy refund. All in all I managed to blow through over a grand in unexpected expenses in about a week. Ah well.

I haven't had much time to devote to guitar lately, what with finals and all, but since I know some of you guys are interested in various ways to make noise, I thought I'd showcase some of my gear. I think I've mentioned all the guitars, so here are the amps and what has made its way onto my pedalboard, with my thoughts:

The Pedals:

1.) Rocktron Hush - Simple but effective noise gate.

2.) Johnson Switch - controls the clean/dirty channel on my Fender Champion 110.

3.) Boss FZ-2 Hyper Fuzz - The guy at the pawn shop threw it in cheap when I bought my amp. I've really only found it useful when teamed with a more conventional fuzz pedal like the Big Muff - together they can create a cool sludge-rock sound. otherwise it just sounds like static from a transistor radio added to the signal.

4.) Dod FX-30B Gate/Loop - I'm not using the gate side, I mainly intend to use this as an effects loop for all the dirt boxes, but I haven't gotten around to rewiring the board for it yet.

5.) Electro Harmonix Big Muff Pi (Russian) - One of my favorites. I had a Russian-made model from the 80's a long time ago, I'm glad to say this one sounds even better. You can get everything from Hendrix to Brit-pop to metal with one of these.

6.) Guyatone MD-3 Digital Delay - actually sent to me by accident by an eBay seller that I bought another (much cheaper) item from, he decided to let me keep it rather than mess with shipping it back. Delays aren't real high up on my personal "useful" list of effects. but for free it's fun to play around with and get space-rock noises out of.

7.) Expression pedal for my Zoom 505.

8.) Danelectro DJ-14 Fish & Chips Equalizer - One of the cheapest pedals on my board, and probably the most useful. Nice for tweaking or as a clean boost pedal. These little Danelectro boxes are around $20 and are a great deal, just don't stomp on 'em too hard.

9.)Danelectro DJ-9 Surf & Turf Compressor - Picked it up on eBay for $10. Nice for stuff with a lot switching between clean and dirty sounds.

10.) Rocktron Silver Dragon - My latest addition, and one of my favorites. Actually two pedals in one case - a tube-preamp on the left and a solid-state distortion on the right. most opinions on low-voltage tube preamps seem to either be "complete & utter snake-oil" or "best thing since sliced bread" - I'm probably somewhere in between, but it definitely seems to add a nice warm tone to my solid-state amps. When teamed with the distortion, it can produce the sound of a hundred cats being set on fire in a steel dumpster - which is to say, I like it. The only drawback is it has a huge 14-volt wall wart adapter, so I can't use my 1-spot.

11.) Control switch for Behringer V-Amp2 - see below.

12.) Zoom 505II Multi-Effects - The first effect I bought, with the idea "If I buy this, I won't need to spend money on separate effects pedals". Yeah, right. Still nice to have to play around with effects that I haven't yet been able to talk myself into, like ring mods and envelope followers. Also nice since it fits in a gig bag, keeping me from hauling around the whole pedalboard if I want to go to a friend's house.

The Amps:

1.) Danelectro Honeytone - I remember when these came out and I wanted one but couldn't convince myself to drop $40 on it. I wound up finding this one on eBay for $10, and it would have been a bargain at the original price - gives really cool vintage overdriven tube sounds (well, as close as you're likely get for $10) at volumes that won't have the police at my door.

2.) Behringer V-Amp2 - I just got this, and honestly haven't had much time to play with it yet, but from what I've seen it's really cool. The V-Amp2 is an amp modeller, allowing you to get the sound of everything from a Marshall stack to a vintage Vox in a tiny digital package. The V-Amp is akin to the wildly popular Line6 Pod series, at a much lower price. The biggest gripe people seem to have with Behringer is hit-or-miss quality control, so time will tell.

3.) Fender Champion 110 - I've talked about this amp here before, basically it's your standard small practice amp, but it does a nice job with that legendary clean "Fender sound". Sometime when I get brave enough I plan to replace the speaker with one of the specialty models from Eminence, but that's a way down the road...

Life Sucks, Wear A Helmet

Both Lucky and Red mentioned helmets recently, and it reminded me of something I go through every spring: The search for the perfect helmet. Currently I have a basic black no-frills Bieffe full-face as my cold weather/long distance helmet, and an even more basic M2R half helmet as my around-town lid. I'm not crazy about the M2R, I bought it because it was the cheapest thing in the shop at the time, and the Bieffe has seen better days (especially after I loaned it to Adam when we went kart racing, and he chucked it across the room during a shouting match with an official regarding "excessive contact".) The problem is twofold: I can't decide on a style (I don't like the lack of protection half helmets offer my oh-so-pretty face, but I feel claustrophobic in full-face helmets) and two, I'm cheap (have you seen the prices on some of these things?!?) But, here are the ones currently being considered:

Simpson Outlaw Bandit

-Probably my favorite as far as looks go, the main drawback is price: $400+ for one of these. Needless to say, that's not gonna happen. However, it is the closest I can get to the coolest helmet of all time:

-Another alternative I found lately are Craft Helmets, which have the look of the Outlaw, and are offered in more finishes:



Craft RX-6

Craft RXX-3

-These are a little more reasonable, at around $250 apiece. Still a bit pricey for me, and I like to try helmets on before buying, and they are almost impossible to find in the states (apparently they are big in Europe, but anyone willing to ship to the USA wants almost $100 shipping).

KBC Wolf

-The KBC Wolf is another contender, especially since you can find them for around a hundred bucks since they are being closed out. The main problem is that I like the "Black Chrome" finish the most, and of course that one is impossible to find. Also, I would have to buy a mirrored visor for it, so that's another $40. The sad thing is I used to have one of these - my parents won one as a door prize at a bike show and gave it to me. I had several newer helmets at the time and needed the cash, so I sold it on eBay.

Nolan N42

-The Nolan N42 is the only open-face model I've come across that is in the running. It's decent looking, and the separate tinted visor is a nice touch - it could solve the problem I have with the glasses/contacts issue (I don't have prescription sunglasses, so if I know I'm going to be on the bike all day I'll wear contacts, but I don't care for them.) I have goggles that fit over my glasses, but they tend to fog up and look stupid. (I'm due for an eye exam, maybe I'll just spring for a set of prescription goggles and be done with it).

The likely conclusion is that I won't buy any of these, unless I get an amazing tax return or find a killer deal somewhere. Anyone who has any experience/opinions with any of these of any others you think I'd like, speak up...

Bike Week Pics

We kinda forgot that he even went to Bike Week, what with the excitement and all, but my Stepdad did burn a CD for me with the pictures he took there. He's a Harley guy, so obviously that's gonna be his focus (well, that and titties) but you're just going to have to deal with that. Here's the highlights - I will narrate to the best of my ability, considering I wasn't there. I should also point out that he refuses to give up his ancient Sony Mavica digital camera that uses 3.5" floppy disks, so the image quality might be worse than you're used to. Anyways, here we go:

Cool retro bobber. Need to lose that front brake, though.

Another one - cool panhead engine, but I'm not really feeling the green wheels. And I hate peanut tanks.

The green looks better on her.

Apparently this is Harley's new model, The FLHX Street Glide. Kind of a stripped-down touring bike.

Demo bikes at the Harley tent. Papaw said he rode all the Harleys as well as a Moto Guzzi, which kinda surprised me. Sounded like he was impressed.

Cool paint scheme on a Road King - he's considering something like this for his Electra Glide. I don't think Harley uses the black/orange scheme enough - all you see it on lately is the Sportsters.

One of the helpful staff at the refreshment stand.

A Boss Hoss - I'm sorry, I guess these are neat in a "Let's-see-if-we-can-do-it" kinda way, but man, are they ugly.

That's a V-Rod with a sidecar and a freaky custom front end. Like they didn't look weird enough to start with...

Now that's a rear tire. Do you even need a kickstand with that thing?

If a Hummer just isn't manly enough for you, you can by a Ford F-650 dump truck converted with a standard bed & semi tires. I guess these start at $89,999. Sounds reasonable to me.

I knew when Florida repealed its helmet law this would happen...

Crazy-ass chromed out Hayabusa with a turbocharger and extended swingarm.

Apparently you can get Hemi head kits for Harley engines now. Sounds pretty trick, but pricey.

Auugh!!! My eyes!!! Yes, that two V-twins in one frame. How'd you like to try the box on that?!?

Riders waiting to take a parade lap at the Speedway.

Valentino Rossi's 600cc race bike. I'm digging the retro anniversary paint job.

Cool subtle bagger - Check out the details like frenched lights and anodized crash bars.

That's all for now - I'm planning on heading down with him in the next year or two (I figure I should check it out at least once...)