Smell The Glove

A few weeks ago, I went to a charity auction put on by my girlfriend's employer. I actually won lots 'o stuff, but the one I was really gunning for was a new pair of Rocky Boots. I did win them, but they were four sizes too small - no matter, they came with a certificate stating they could be exchanged, and their factory outlet store was on the way home, so we swung by.

The store turned out to be incredibly cool - a huge, three story warehouse filled with all manner of outdoor clothing, camping gear, tools, etc. I actually drove by the store every few months while I was in college - I always meant to stop, but never did. Probably for the best, since I was perpetually broke back then (as opposed to "occasionally not broke" now). One of the items I picked up while I was there was a pair of fingerless gloves - I learned the value of these while I was working in an ice house in high school & college. I spent all day in a giant freezer with augers, conveyor belts, trap doors and automatic cutting machines. 80% of the time you want your hand to be completely covered to stay as warm as possible, but if you had to twiddle with the machinery, you would lose a finger if you try to do it while wearing winter gloves (I saw several people mangled in my tenure). I solved this problem by going across the street to the surplus store and buying cheap USAF glove liners, cutting the fingers off, and putting a pair of heavy canvas gardening gloves over them. The heavy canvas gloves held up better & dried out faster than winter gloves, and with a snap of your wrists your could shuck them off (think of a hockey player in a melee) and quickly manipulate whatever piece of equipment that was about to give out and back up the whole line. The fingerless gloves would then keep you warm enough until you got a second to retrieve your other gloves.

The thing that made the ones I bought different was that they had a flip-down mitten, that was secured by velcro when not being used:




















I thought this was pretty slick - I am still likely to need to twiddle with something, although nowadays it is usually my camera, MP3 player, or cell phone. Anyways, last week I headed out to class to take the last of my finals, and I got to try my new gloves out for the first time, as the temperature was rapidly approaching single digits. After class I decided to walk over to the campus bookstore to sell my textbooks, and get some extra cash to finish my Xmas shopping. Apparently the college was letting a local youth organization use the gymnasium that evening for some sort of awards ceremony, and I encountered lots of cold, confused people asking me for directions. That's when I learned an important lesson:

Nothing looks dumber than a guy trying to point while wearing mittens.