With A Sword And A Pistol By His Side

Hey all -

Got the bike registered and cleaned up the other day, taking it's condition from "deplorable" to "barely acceptable" in an afternoon. It still needs a thorough detail job and an oil change, but I worked on it for five hours the other day, on the hottest day of the year so far, in the middle of the afternoon - I didn't even think about sunscreen, so now I'm doing a pretty good impression of a lobster without even trying. I'm going to snap some pics and maybe even a riding vid here soon, but we've had a guy out at work and I keep getting called in for OT. The only other notable thing is some supplies for the cellar that arrived today:

-MacBaren Plumcake

-McClelland Frog Morton

-bulk Sugar Barrel

-Brebbia polish

-shank brush

-lots 'o cleaners!

Make It Shallow So That I Can Feel The Rain

The girlfriend and I took a couple of vacation days last week to unwind and visit her hometown, and to visit her mother's grave - she hadn't been there since the funeral, so she hadn't seen the headstone her father picked out. It was beautiful, but we were both surprised when we walked around and looked at the back of it:

Perhaps They'll Listen Now

Vintage Motorcycle Days has come and gone, and I didn't win the Vincent Black Shadow. Oh well, I didn't have space for it anyways... sure is pretty, though.

Life Sucks, Wear A Helmet

The worst thing about about this season if I have a major case of new bike fever - I spend most of the day browsing Cycle Trader, looking for my next bike. Logically, this should be something that will fulfill all my needs (bigger, comfortable, suitable for distance, somewhat sporty) - so far I'm leaning towards the Yamaha FJR1300, Honda ST1300, or a used Super Hawk, Interceptor, or BMW R1150 RT. The problem is I can't (and won't be able to) afford ANY of these bikes for a while, so I start browsing Craigslist for one-sided trades on dirt bikes or salvage sites for ratted-out sportbikes that have been crashed by the squids (both of which would be a bad idea) - anything to get a new-bike fix. Oh well, I guess there's always the lottery...

In other news, I got a new lid today:
It's a Nolan N41 in wine. Kind of a compromise between my full-face, which I've been wearing almost exclusively lately, and my beanie, which I never felt very secure riding in (news flash - cruiser guy picks function over form! Film at eleven!) I'm not crazy about the color (I wanted the silver or flat black) but I got a deal I couldn't refuse on it - something along the lines of 90% off retail. The color is actually much darker in person, so I can live with it (I passed up a similar deal on a N41 in fire-engine red 'cause I knew I'd never wear it). My full-face Bieffe is going on ten years old and has suffered a few drops, including being thrown by a friend at the local kart-racing track during a spirited discussion with an official ("Rubbin' IS racing!") so I figured it was time to step up. I really wanted the N42 with the N-Com headset and bluetooth goodies, but that would've run me in the $600 dollar range by the time all was said and done. If I fall into some disposable income maybe I'll get a custom paint job for it - it kinda reminds me of another helmet from my childhood:
Hell yeah. Ace Goodheart FTW, bitches.

On The Road Again

...as I mentioned in my (bitchy) last post, I completed the MSF Course the other weekend. I enjoyed this one much more than the last time I took it (7 or 8 years ago, I think?) Smaller class, better instructors, cooler classmates. This was a pilot course being offered for the first time this year - instead of a two-day class, it's one day only for people who have extensive experience on a permit (1K+ miles) or "... experienced riders who are returning to riding with or without their endorsement after several years of non-riding". This worked great for me, because, well... I never technically had my endorsement. (Now you know my horrible secret!) I would just go get a new set of temps every year, then never get around to taking the test. (This is more common than it sounds - my brother-in-law has been doing it for 5 or 6 years, and his father did it for 25+ years(!)). Anyways, now I'm completely legal and don't have to be paranoid about getting pulled over at night (daytime only, no passengers on temps in my state). I took the test in the middle of a thunderstorm on a ragged-out 250 Nighthawk and it was easy as pie - much easier than the last time I tried it on my bike, a cruiser with 36" beach bars and cut-down seat.

I finally got around to getting the bike out of drydock and took it for a ride... I did a quick safety check before riding - checked the brakes, signals, etc., felt the tires and they didn't seem low. Went out for a while and thought "Hmmm, steering feels a little sloppy". Came home and checked the tire pressure with a fancy professional-style tire gauge I picked up at a too-good-to-be-true price over the winter - turns out it really was too-good-to-be-true, 'cause the damn thing's broken. Dug up one of the cheapie pen-style gauges out of tool box and tested it - 5lbs. That can't be right. Found another one and tried it - 5lbs. Oops. Should be 33lbs. Got lucky on that ride. Went to do an oil change, discovered I need a lift or a stubby wrench to get at the drain plug. *Sigh* One of those days, I guess. Spent a few hours cleaning her up, taking a trip to pick up some tools tomorrow...

Take A Long Ride On My Motorbike

Hmmmm, seems like the only post I make anymore is the "sorry I haven't posted in so long" one. School is again kicking my butt, although in a good way (I am working on a very involved project that, for once, might actually translate into the real world - as well as give me a project I can put in my portfolio). Hopefully summer will be less hectic - I plan on only taking one (online only) class.

In moto-related news, I got lucky and snagged a spot for a Motorcycle Safety Foundation course in about a month. I must have caught a cancellation - I checked the web page on Sunday and all classes were booked until the end of September, I checked again the next day and there was exactly one spot open for a class at the beginning of June, so I jumped on it. This is actually a new class that they just started this year - it's an abbreviated one-day version of the basic class, for people who have been riding on a permit for multiple years or have been riding on-and-off for several years (sadly, that describes me to a "T"). I took the class about 9 years ago, it'll be good to get a refresher. Maybe I'll sign up for the advanced class next summer...

When She's Ten Feet Tall

Hey all, not too much new here. We did Easter at my place this year, my first honest-to-goodness hosting of a holiday meal since becoming a grown up (allegedly). It went really well, except we forgot that if you let a sixty-pound dog eat an entire hambone (which he can do in about five minutes flat) , he will wake you up by yakking on your bedroom floor at 4:30AM.

The GF's dad had peeling forearms due to having the Goldwing out all last week during the nice weather, and her brother even managed to get the ancient CD350 he bought off eBay last year out for a day. Needless to say, I felt like a slacker - I still need to make a trip to the BMV before I can get my bike on the road. I did show it to them and we resolved to get together for a ride sometime this summer, maybe head up the road to the Motorcycle Hall of Fame Museum. I'll be sure to take lots of pics...

Born To Be Wild?

Okay, this is just taking it too goddamn far.

One-Armed Paper Hanger

Hey all, been super busy with meatworld stuff lately - work has been a mess, and one of the disadvantages of being a semi-talented amateur videographer/photographer is that every time there's a wedding/anniversary party/dance recital in the family, you're automatically enlisted to shoot & edit it, along with providing prints & DVD's with interactive menus and full-color box art. The other disadvantage is that while you're good enough to entrust with these precious memories, you're apparently not good enough to get paid for it. Ah well, at least it's something I genuinely enjoy doing for people - otherwise I'd just be getting calls to help people move...

I had nothing motorcycle-related to mention, until this morning: I went out to check out some video games (I bought a PSP, which is also putting a major dent in my productivity) and on the way to the store, I saw four bikes coming up in my rearview mirror. This usually worries me, being that Ohio is home to all sorts of squidly dumbasses who ride in packs. These bikes didn't seem to be moving too fast, though. As they passed me I glanced over - there were four of them, and the three in the lead were in tight formation all on brand new Yamaha FJR's (*drool*) with Givi cases. They were all wearing Aerostitch suits and matching helmets. It was badass, like a team of sport-touring ninjas or something. (For a minute I thought maybe Alton Brown and his cronies were making their way through town). I noticed that the third rider was a woman, and she had something on her helmet:

I thought it was awesome. I bet they guy bringing up the rear on the canary-yellow Vulcan was sick of looking at them, though.

Like A Band Of Gypsies We Go Down The Highway

Well, I finally got the new battery in the bike and went riding for about an hour this evening - the bike still needs an oil change, new plugs probably wouldn't be a bad idea, and about a full day's worth of detailing (damn my chrome addiction!) but I forgot how therapeutic a ride can be. I've been mobbed at work and am knee-deep in my first serious romantic relationship in quite some time, all of which has kept my mind racing 24/7 lately. Riding is a great release precisely because I can't think about those things when I'm on the bike - I'm too busy watching the soccer mom in the minivan closing fast with her left blinker on.

The ride today also reaffirmed that I'm a dyed-in-the-wool cruiser guy, something I've almost felt apologetic for in the past. Due to my friends & contemporaries' obsession with track days and the latest in literbike technology, I sometimes feel like the dinosaur lumbering around in a herd of fleet-footed mammals that appeared out of nowhere. I remembered a column William Gibson wrote about his obsession with collecting mechanical watches where he said, "They're pointless yet needful, comforting precisely because they require tending." To me, V-Twins are the same way - even the elaborately engineered Japanese ones are remarkably uncivilized. They're loud, inefficient, and archaic. You have to constantly listen to the feedback the bike is giving you and interpret what it means. I can tell you exactly what's going on with my engine by listening to it at speed, loading the engine on a downhill, or snapping the throttle shut in second. I can tell you when maintenance is due by ear while other guys need to break out exhaust-gas analyzers and feeler gauges. Your bike might do 10's in the quarter mile, but mine talks to me. This is everything motorcycling should be to me. Watch The Wild One and keep your eye on Lee Marvin, maybe you'll understand.

Remember that we're all on the road together - it's not what you ride, it's how you ride it.

Like Salsa Picante De Nana Funkenstein

Man, it's been hot here. Too damn hot. I had two co-workers that had their cars go down due to radiator/cooling troubles. I installed a new thermostat & return filters at the compound and had the A/C turned off at the breaker for an hour, and when I turned it back on it took almost 5 hours to get the house cooled back down. So hot I wish this would have worked.

The good news is I was able to find a battery in stock at a local dealership, and it was even cheaper than expected and an OEM part (no modifications necessary). The bad news is due to the heat & other projects, I wasn't able to get it in yet. Meine Freundin is coming over to spend the weekend with me and promised to make me baked chicken for dinner tommorrow, so don't expect to hear from me until the first of the week...

Smashing Through The Boundaries, Lunacy Has Found Me

Bleargh - I went to three different places to pick up a battery for the bike, and nobody had one in stock. The guys at my closest dealership were nice enough to order some for backstock so I didn't have to pre-pay, but when it comes in it gonna cost me a hundred and twenty dollars. My bike is a lot nicer than the claptrap UJM's I had for years, but at least for those I could go to Pep Boys and buy a battery for $25 (of course, I had to buy one practically every year...) The YUASA chart that I looked up the battery on had a footnote that said *hold-down must be modified* - in a perfect world that would mean I have to slightly adjust the rubber strap that holds the battery down, but in my world it usually involves a dremel and working perilously close to the wiring harness & my custom paint job.

Work has been a drag this week - in addition to my regular shift I had to go in for training for the new computer systems that will be going in next month. Ah well, I have a long weekend planned with meine Freundin that I am looking forward to. The plan is to get the bike all tuned up first thing next week, check back for pics (and maybe my first video post?) We'll see...

Beans Don't Burn On The Grill

Sheesh, nobody told me that a roommate moving out would be almost as much work as moving myself - when you have two people living together who both have waaay too much stuff, and one leaves, reordering the stuff that's left to fill the suddenly available space (and cleaning said space) is a lot of work. On top of that, I've been dating someone new (and having a great time, I might add). I've noticed a marked slowdown in the blogging of my contemporaries as well as myself (hopefully due to summertime fun) so I don't feel so bad.

The only moto-related content to mention is that I saw a kickass Goldwing for sale by my house - with a matching sidecar. Sweet! It's completely not my style and undoubtedly way out of my price range, but I think I'll stop and take a look anyway. If I remember, I'll grab some pics...

Alligator Lizards In The Air

I sitting at a stoplight on the drive home from work the other day when a bright red motorcycle going through the intersection caught my eye - it was a Honda Pacific Coast, a bike I've always had a soft spot for. As much as I dig the vibe of V-twin cruisers and the unapologetic impracticality of built-for-speed literbikes, there's something cool about a bike that is built to be completely utilitarian above everything else. The Pacific Coast was a bike for guys who thought the ST1100 was too flashy - a bike that was as reliable as a stone axe, able to commute to work and back and stop for a couple of bags of groceries on the way home. It was, well, the Honda Civic of motorcycles. Most of the guys you see riding them in the Midwest are the truly hardcore - the guys who don't even own a car, just an electric vest and a one-piece textile suit. Plus, they're so freakin' ugly that they're kinda cool - like a prop from a bad sci-fi movie. They look like they should be sitting in the parking lot next to a 6000 SUX.

One bit of good news on the personal front- I found out that both the father & the brother of the lovely young lady that I've been seeing are avid riders, so I'm unlikely to get any friction about that. You know, one less thing...

Does He Bleed Black & Gold?

As a devout Steelers fan and motorcyclist, this made me cringe:

PITTSBURGH, June 13 — The condition of quarterback Ben Roethlisberger of the Steelers, injured in a motorcycle accident Monday while not wearing a helmet, was upgraded today from serious to fair condition, and doctors at Mercy Hospital said he could be released later this week... Doctors confirmed his injuries: fractures to his upper and lower jaws; a mild concussion; a fractured nose; fractured facial bones; multiple head lacerations; multiple abrasions; two lost teeth; and several chipped teeth.

I'm a big Roethlisberger fan not only because he's the Steeler's quarterback, but also an Ohio native and a fellow MAC alum, so my first reaction was concern. My second reaction was: what a dumbass. You go 13-0 your rookie year, pocket $12 million dollars in bonuses, win the superbowl your second season, and you go out and ride the fastest sportbike made WITHOUT A HELMET!?!?! I'd wear a helmet in the shower everyday if my health was worth $12 million dollars. Sheesh.

On the personal front, I didn't get a chance to get a battery for the bike since my roommate has started moving out this week and I've been helping him with that. On the bright side of things, I had a date last weekend that went great - we're getting together again this weekend to see Gone With The Wind. (If you're lucky enough to have any historic theaters in your area, lots of them have summer movie festivals. Check 'em out and see what's playing this summer).

Grrrrr...

...I finally got a chance to do the spring service on the bike today. When I went to warm it up before changing the oil, the battery is totally flat (even though I had it on a float charger for most of the winter). Ah well, I got longer than expected out of it anyway - 5 years, I think (my Honda CB650 demanded a new battery every season, but that might have been due to intermittent electrical gremlins/buying cheap batteries). No riding for me until I get to the shop to pick one up...

Like A Wheel, Gonna Spin It

I spent the weekend in that weird state that occurs when you stay awake so long that your body resigns itself that sleep is just not going to happen, and your mind is pumped so full of caffeine that it's going 100 miles an hour. The bad part is, the reason was that I was cramming for a mid-term, and it didn't even happen (it was delayed for a couple weeks). I was so wired that I couldn't fall asleep for hours after I got home, although I eventually collapsed and slept for 14 hours straight.

Some closure/addendums to previous issues:

I blew out the cords in another tire the other day, and it was the last straw - I've been going through a set of low-profile tires every year at $700 a set, and I could pretty much count on destroying at least two tires before their life expectancy was up. I got the factory rims out of the shed and had them put back on. They don't look cool, but I figure it's one less thing I have to worry about. After that, I spent the afternoon repairing the banister I ripped out of the wall the other day.

I finally got around to picking up the supplies to give the bike an oil change, although I didn't enjoy the trip - In my experience, there are two kinds of motorcycle dealerships: ones that are purely sales oriented, run by profiteers and staffed by idiots. The second kind is usually smaller, run by people who love motorcycling/powersports and staffed by people who genuinely want to be ambassadors to the sport. The shop I went to was part of a chain in my area that is firmly in the first camp - the salesmen eyed me like vultures as I walked in, and the parts guy, while friendly enough, was clueless. As a former employee of one of the helpful shops, it was like chewing on tinfoil.

Finally, as an amateur photographer, I recently came across unphotographable.com and was fascinated. It reminded me that while a picture may be worth a thousands words, it's no match for the imagination...

Indiscriminate? I'd Rather Be Elite

And you thought your rat bike was hardcore...

(via Make)

Life Sucks, Wear A Helmet

Both Lucky and Red mentioned helmets recently, and it reminded me of something I go through every spring: The search for the perfect helmet. Currently I have a basic black no-frills Bieffe full-face as my cold weather/long distance helmet, and an even more basic M2R half helmet as my around-town lid. I'm not crazy about the M2R, I bought it because it was the cheapest thing in the shop at the time, and the Bieffe has seen better days (especially after I loaned it to Adam when we went kart racing, and he chucked it across the room during a shouting match with an official regarding "excessive contact".) The problem is twofold: I can't decide on a style (I don't like the lack of protection half helmets offer my oh-so-pretty face, but I feel claustrophobic in full-face helmets) and two, I'm cheap (have you seen the prices on some of these things?!?) But, here are the ones currently being considered:

Simpson Outlaw Bandit

-Probably my favorite as far as looks go, the main drawback is price: $400+ for one of these. Needless to say, that's not gonna happen. However, it is the closest I can get to the coolest helmet of all time:

-Another alternative I found lately are Craft Helmets, which have the look of the Outlaw, and are offered in more finishes:



Craft RX-6

Craft RXX-3

-These are a little more reasonable, at around $250 apiece. Still a bit pricey for me, and I like to try helmets on before buying, and they are almost impossible to find in the states (apparently they are big in Europe, but anyone willing to ship to the USA wants almost $100 shipping).

KBC Wolf

-The KBC Wolf is another contender, especially since you can find them for around a hundred bucks since they are being closed out. The main problem is that I like the "Black Chrome" finish the most, and of course that one is impossible to find. Also, I would have to buy a mirrored visor for it, so that's another $40. The sad thing is I used to have one of these - my parents won one as a door prize at a bike show and gave it to me. I had several newer helmets at the time and needed the cash, so I sold it on eBay.

Nolan N42

-The Nolan N42 is the only open-face model I've come across that is in the running. It's decent looking, and the separate tinted visor is a nice touch - it could solve the problem I have with the glasses/contacts issue (I don't have prescription sunglasses, so if I know I'm going to be on the bike all day I'll wear contacts, but I don't care for them.) I have goggles that fit over my glasses, but they tend to fog up and look stupid. (I'm due for an eye exam, maybe I'll just spring for a set of prescription goggles and be done with it).

The likely conclusion is that I won't buy any of these, unless I get an amazing tax return or find a killer deal somewhere. Anyone who has any experience/opinions with any of these of any others you think I'd like, speak up...

Bike Week Pics

We kinda forgot that he even went to Bike Week, what with the excitement and all, but my Stepdad did burn a CD for me with the pictures he took there. He's a Harley guy, so obviously that's gonna be his focus (well, that and titties) but you're just going to have to deal with that. Here's the highlights - I will narrate to the best of my ability, considering I wasn't there. I should also point out that he refuses to give up his ancient Sony Mavica digital camera that uses 3.5" floppy disks, so the image quality might be worse than you're used to. Anyways, here we go:

Cool retro bobber. Need to lose that front brake, though.

Another one - cool panhead engine, but I'm not really feeling the green wheels. And I hate peanut tanks.

The green looks better on her.

Apparently this is Harley's new model, The FLHX Street Glide. Kind of a stripped-down touring bike.

Demo bikes at the Harley tent. Papaw said he rode all the Harleys as well as a Moto Guzzi, which kinda surprised me. Sounded like he was impressed.

Cool paint scheme on a Road King - he's considering something like this for his Electra Glide. I don't think Harley uses the black/orange scheme enough - all you see it on lately is the Sportsters.

One of the helpful staff at the refreshment stand.

A Boss Hoss - I'm sorry, I guess these are neat in a "Let's-see-if-we-can-do-it" kinda way, but man, are they ugly.

That's a V-Rod with a sidecar and a freaky custom front end. Like they didn't look weird enough to start with...

Now that's a rear tire. Do you even need a kickstand with that thing?

If a Hummer just isn't manly enough for you, you can by a Ford F-650 dump truck converted with a standard bed & semi tires. I guess these start at $89,999. Sounds reasonable to me.

I knew when Florida repealed its helmet law this would happen...

Crazy-ass chromed out Hayabusa with a turbocharger and extended swingarm.

Apparently you can get Hemi head kits for Harley engines now. Sounds pretty trick, but pricey.

Auugh!!! My eyes!!! Yes, that two V-twins in one frame. How'd you like to try the box on that?!?

Riders waiting to take a parade lap at the Speedway.

Valentino Rossi's 600cc race bike. I'm digging the retro anniversary paint job.

Cool subtle bagger - Check out the details like frenched lights and anodized crash bars.

That's all for now - I'm planning on heading down with him in the next year or two (I figure I should check it out at least once...)