Life Sucks, Wear A Helmet

Both Lucky and Red mentioned helmets recently, and it reminded me of something I go through every spring: The search for the perfect helmet. Currently I have a basic black no-frills Bieffe full-face as my cold weather/long distance helmet, and an even more basic M2R half helmet as my around-town lid. I'm not crazy about the M2R, I bought it because it was the cheapest thing in the shop at the time, and the Bieffe has seen better days (especially after I loaned it to Adam when we went kart racing, and he chucked it across the room during a shouting match with an official regarding "excessive contact".) The problem is twofold: I can't decide on a style (I don't like the lack of protection half helmets offer my oh-so-pretty face, but I feel claustrophobic in full-face helmets) and two, I'm cheap (have you seen the prices on some of these things?!?) But, here are the ones currently being considered:

Simpson Outlaw Bandit

-Probably my favorite as far as looks go, the main drawback is price: $400+ for one of these. Needless to say, that's not gonna happen. However, it is the closest I can get to the coolest helmet of all time:

-Another alternative I found lately are Craft Helmets, which have the look of the Outlaw, and are offered in more finishes:



Craft RX-6

Craft RXX-3

-These are a little more reasonable, at around $250 apiece. Still a bit pricey for me, and I like to try helmets on before buying, and they are almost impossible to find in the states (apparently they are big in Europe, but anyone willing to ship to the USA wants almost $100 shipping).

KBC Wolf

-The KBC Wolf is another contender, especially since you can find them for around a hundred bucks since they are being closed out. The main problem is that I like the "Black Chrome" finish the most, and of course that one is impossible to find. Also, I would have to buy a mirrored visor for it, so that's another $40. The sad thing is I used to have one of these - my parents won one as a door prize at a bike show and gave it to me. I had several newer helmets at the time and needed the cash, so I sold it on eBay.

Nolan N42

-The Nolan N42 is the only open-face model I've come across that is in the running. It's decent looking, and the separate tinted visor is a nice touch - it could solve the problem I have with the glasses/contacts issue (I don't have prescription sunglasses, so if I know I'm going to be on the bike all day I'll wear contacts, but I don't care for them.) I have goggles that fit over my glasses, but they tend to fog up and look stupid. (I'm due for an eye exam, maybe I'll just spring for a set of prescription goggles and be done with it).

The likely conclusion is that I won't buy any of these, unless I get an amazing tax return or find a killer deal somewhere. Anyone who has any experience/opinions with any of these of any others you think I'd like, speak up...

Bike Week Pics

We kinda forgot that he even went to Bike Week, what with the excitement and all, but my Stepdad did burn a CD for me with the pictures he took there. He's a Harley guy, so obviously that's gonna be his focus (well, that and titties) but you're just going to have to deal with that. Here's the highlights - I will narrate to the best of my ability, considering I wasn't there. I should also point out that he refuses to give up his ancient Sony Mavica digital camera that uses 3.5" floppy disks, so the image quality might be worse than you're used to. Anyways, here we go:

Cool retro bobber. Need to lose that front brake, though.

Another one - cool panhead engine, but I'm not really feeling the green wheels. And I hate peanut tanks.

The green looks better on her.

Apparently this is Harley's new model, The FLHX Street Glide. Kind of a stripped-down touring bike.

Demo bikes at the Harley tent. Papaw said he rode all the Harleys as well as a Moto Guzzi, which kinda surprised me. Sounded like he was impressed.

Cool paint scheme on a Road King - he's considering something like this for his Electra Glide. I don't think Harley uses the black/orange scheme enough - all you see it on lately is the Sportsters.

One of the helpful staff at the refreshment stand.

A Boss Hoss - I'm sorry, I guess these are neat in a "Let's-see-if-we-can-do-it" kinda way, but man, are they ugly.

That's a V-Rod with a sidecar and a freaky custom front end. Like they didn't look weird enough to start with...

Now that's a rear tire. Do you even need a kickstand with that thing?

If a Hummer just isn't manly enough for you, you can by a Ford F-650 dump truck converted with a standard bed & semi tires. I guess these start at $89,999. Sounds reasonable to me.

I knew when Florida repealed its helmet law this would happen...

Crazy-ass chromed out Hayabusa with a turbocharger and extended swingarm.

Apparently you can get Hemi head kits for Harley engines now. Sounds pretty trick, but pricey.

Auugh!!! My eyes!!! Yes, that two V-twins in one frame. How'd you like to try the box on that?!?

Riders waiting to take a parade lap at the Speedway.

Valentino Rossi's 600cc race bike. I'm digging the retro anniversary paint job.

Cool subtle bagger - Check out the details like frenched lights and anodized crash bars.

That's all for now - I'm planning on heading down with him in the next year or two (I figure I should check it out at least once...)

With A Bocephus Sticker On His 442

Coop had a great post the other day on being a child of the 70's and America's fascination with all things motorized during that era - it seemed to resonate with a lot of people, myself included. It brought back one memory in particular: You see, when I was a kid, I took things apart. I mean, I took everything apart - my toys, old appliances, my bike, you name it. I vividly remember being yelled at for taking apart the blender when I was eight years old. My parents, to their credit, understood that I was simply trying to understand how things worked, and proceeded to buy me toys that addressed these urges - Lego, Robotix, Capsella, Erector Sets, Radio Shack project kits - you name it, I had it. Every year for Christmas I could count on getting one of the giant deluxe Lego sets, which was the coolest thing ever. (I still remember my Dad cursing when he would step on one of the small Lego bits when he was barefoot - those tiny 1 x 2 blocks were easily obscured in the long, avocado-green shag carpeting that came standard in every middle class suburban house back then). Still, these were only toys, and I wanted the real stuff - my Mom took to buying almost-certainly-broken small appliances for a quarter apiece at garage sales solely for me to take apart, since it was cheaper & easier than replacing her own. The flip side of this affliction was that I liked to build things - after I took the appliances apart, I would strip any usable motors, lengths of wire, switches, etc. and put them aside for later projects. I wouldn't have access to stuff like project boxes, soldering irons and two-stage epoxy until years later, so most of my breadboarding was done on slabs of cardboard cut from old boxes, and everything was held together with copious amounts of tape - to this day, one of my family's affectionate nicknames for me is "Dr. Tape".

Anyways, I remember seeing top-fuel dragsters on TV one weekend during summer vacation, and it was the coolest thing ever. The cars looked liked the fantasy-series Hot Wheels I had in my prized fold-up Hot Wheels City playset (thanks Grandma!) And the coolest thing: drouge chutes! On a car! I instantly knew that that was the most awesome part, so I set out to do the only reasonable thing I could do, given my penchant for tinkering: put a parachute on my bicycle.

The first stage was to gather materials: The body of the parachute was easier than I thought - after considering how severe my punishment would be if one of the good umbrellas went missing, I happened to notice a large rubber ball that had been floating around the house/garage/basement - it was one of those big cheap ones, close to 3 feet around, that they sell in the huge wire cage in the toy section of the discount store for a couple of bucks. It had a slow leak and was going flat, so nobody would miss it. I cut it neatly in half, and bingo - there was the chute. The lines were provided by another important staple in my bag of tricks - a length of Mom's spare clothesline. (Mom took to buying lots of extra clothesline too, since I used most of it). I carefully cut holes around the perimeter of the ball and tied lines through the holes, then tied all the lines together. Voila! Now I only had to deal with the problem of deployment. After considering various complicated ways to attach my new parachute to my banana seat, I decided to go for simplicity: I tied it around my belt, and crammed the chute in my back pocket. When the time arrived, I would simply reach back and yank the chute free.

I got up a head of steam on my Huffy on the sidewalk in front of my house. When I was sure I was going roughly close to 300+ MPH, I reached back, grabbed the corner of the chute that was sticking out of my pocket, and flung it out behind me. I heard the satisfying *whoomph*! of a parachute rapidly filling with air. It worked! In fact, it worked a little too well - I stopped instantly, and the bike was yanked out of my hands and kept going. It felt like I hovered in the air for a full second before I came crashing to the sidewalk, incurring one of the many full-body "concrete exfoliation treatments" I was to receive in the course of my youth. I particularly remember hurting my left hand during this episode, and 20+ years later, when having the same hand X-rayed after an injury, the doctor commented "So, you've broken this hand before". I told him no, not to my knowledge. He said "Oh yes, at least once before, a long time ago". My mind instantly flashed back to the parachute episode, and I couldn't help but think "Damn, I bet that was a cool-looking crash".

Four Months Later

Just a note to mention some corrections/addendum to my motorcycle enclosure review. Apparently people are finding the page when searching for product reviews for that type of thing, so I wanted to give my impressions after living with it for a while...

The Dorkcycle

As an engineer (okay, I don't actually have an engineering degree, what with the being retarded in math and all - but my job title does have "engineer" in it, so back off, Poindexter!) I occasionally come across a product that impresses me on that level - it's rare, since the engineers must have to smuggle it out under cover of darkness before the marketing weasels find out about it and proceed to cram if full of "value added" features that focus groups indicated were a good idea. (These focus groups are usually composed of soccer moms and idiots, two groups of people I don't need designing my products). An impressive product doesn't have to be rocket science, and more often than not it's something that solves a problem as simply and elegantly as possible. One of the things I've been hoping to do for a couple of years now is to shoot some video from my motorcycle - since I have lots of video equipment and plenty of cheap "spy-cam" type cameras, you would think this would be pretty easy. Unfortunately, one of the disadvantages of dirt-cheap foreign electronics is that sometimes, the only person who can give you specs for things like voltage and adapters is the guy in the Chinese sweatshop who has the blueprints in his desk. After trying to cobble together an external lens for use with my video camera (since I'm too cheap to buy one of the pre-made kits), I decided to explore different options, such as mounting the camera directly on the bike - a dicey proposition, since my video camera is one of my prized possessions.

I first came across the RAM Mount page a few years ago, after seeing some Iron Butt-type BMW aficionados talking about them on a forum. I decided to give it a shot, and was extremely impressed with the quality of the gear - they have systems to mount everything from laptops to cameras to cell phones on cars, motorcycles, ATV's - even airplanes. One thing I really appreciate is that it's all modular - while you can by a pre-assembled kit, you don't have too - I bought a 1" tube mount (for the handlebars), a 1.5" tube mount (for the frame), an arm, a suction-cup mount (for the gas tank) and a camera base. The stuff is simple, solid as a rock, and cheap to boot. I have no doubt that I will be returning to their website to buy more components so I can transfer everything to my car, as well as mounts for my cell phone, MP3 player, etc. RAM knows where its bread is buttered and now offers many of it's motorcycle-oriented components with a chrome finish, which even I think is a bit ridiculous (and I'm putting the Kuryakyn family's kids through college). But the interesting thing I noticed on their website was this picture:



Now, this picture is obviously meant to illustrate the many different types of devices that could potentially fit on a given motorcycle. You'd have to be insane to actually try to ride a bike with that many gadgets & gizmos on it at once. But I got to thinking: That would kick serious ass. My friends know that although I can do a halfway decent biker impression, I'm still just a dork at heart - you're telling me I can combine geek toys and motorcycles?!? I think I need to get one of the bikes that is favored by the ultra-utilitarian-function-over-form high mileage wierdos, like a Honda ST1100, Yamaha FJ1100, or Kawasaki Concours (although some of the really weird ones go for exceptionally freaky bikes, like the Pacific Coast or the GTS1000) and just load that sucker up. All I would need is an auxiliary tank and I'd be in business. Maybe if I souped it up I could compete with the ultimate dorkcycle...

Floating Downstream

Well, I'm out of the panic mode I was in for most of the past week. I went to the doctor today and he worked on me & gave me some meds that will hopefully clear up my problems. I was just a little freaked out because it involved a part of my body that, once you reach a certain age, you do not take chances with - you get any anomalies checked out toot sweet. It also would have severely limited my ability to go riding this summer, if you get my drift. There's a small chance I might need a follow-up procedure, but hopefully the problem has been rectified (har har). Alright, enough of that.

I spoke to my Stepdad in the hospital today, and although he was pretty morphine'd up he sounded good. Mom got the whole story and apparently after he was napalmed by a load of burning spray paint and gasoline to the face, he drove himself to the hospital, walked into the emergency room with his skin hanging off, and told the nurses "Just patch me up real quick so I can go back to the barn and get back to work". God damn that's hardcore. Needless to say they weren't buying it. As with dealing with any type of burn the greatest risk is infection, more so with him since he got a faceful of superheated Krylon on top of getting burned. They will probably keep him for a few more days, but they said skin grafts won't be necessary and he probably won't have any scarring (I told him that he wasn't really that pretty to start with).

I missed the warmest temps of the year this week by being practically bedridden, the only consolation is that we got walloped pretty steadily by thunderstorms so I probably couldn't have gotten any riding in anyway. I still haven't gotten in the parts I need for the camera rig I mentioned - the guy I was dealing with on that was kinda dicey from the start, but that's a story for another time. I have, however, gotten lots of new guitar/effects gear lately, so hopefully I can do a write-up with some pics of that stuff later in the week for those of you who are interested. But now, I really need to study for my final, okay?

Real Life is a Drag

Hey guys -

Sorry for the lack of content lately. Unfortunately I have had some health issues develop in the past week that have been pretty distracting - I'm getting checked out on Monday. On top of that, my stepfather was injured on Saturday - he was headed home from bike week and stopped at a small piece of property my parents own in the mountains of Tennessee to do some cleanup work. He was throwing several bags of trash on the fire (S.O.P. in those parts - trash pickup isn't even available) and apparently there were some aerosol cans from last year in one of the bags that he didn't know about. They exploded, resulting in burns to his face and upper body. Everything has been a big game of phone tag at this point and we really don't know what the situation is yet. Mom & his father are headed down there. I will post updates as soon as I know anything, and any mojo that you can spare for my family is appreciated...

I Almost Forgot...

...if you're a Simpsons fan, this about the coolest thing ever.

One For You, Nineteen For Me

...so I've been up to my eyeballs in paperwork for the past week. Tax time is looming, and due to dealing with buying a home, probate court, my own financial crises, etc., most of my pertinent paperwork from the past year is spread out in a wide swath from one end of the house to the other. I've finally got it all corralled into one central area, but now it needs to be sorted, collated, folded, stapled, and mutilated until it resembles something I won't be horribly embarrassed to give to the fine professionals down at the H&R Block (although I'm thinking of buying some of that fancy software and doing it myself this year, 'cause I'm a glutton for punishment).

-Just some random miscellany of interest:

-Family members are taking part in the revelry at Daytona as we speak - I'll post any pictures that make it my way when they return.

-I have some bits n' pieces on the way that will hopefully allow me to shoot some cool motorcycle videos as soon as the weather breaks - if everything works out, I will post the camera rig as a project file and hopefully get out on the road with it in the next few weeks.

-I received iLife '06, and it is a big improvement. I haven't had much of a chance to play with iWeb yet, but I'm thinking of using it to greatly expand this site, since I have some free webspace that I'm not using. We'll see.

-Not much on the music front except I got a killer deal on an iControl for Garageband, hopefully it will inspire me to record some stuff I can share with you guys.

I've got finals in a week, so I might be scarce until then...