Trick or Treat...

Tonight was "Beggar's Night" in my neighborhood. Last year I wasn't expecting a huge turnout, and I got cleaned out in 20 minutes. This year I was ready - 4 huge bags of candy, and the kids went through almost all of it.

One observation I made - for almost 5 years I lived in one of the trendier neighborhoods in my city - meaning, "Let's build some overpriced 'boutiques' and coffeehouses around them, then we can rent these 80-year-old dumps for a grand a month to 'young urban professionals' using phrases like 'old world charm'". We hardly got any trick-or-treaters there, and they were usually whiny kids in overpriced store-bought costumes with soccer moms following behind them at 5MPH in the family SUV.

To be blunt, I moved into my new neighborhood for one reason: it's cheap. It's waaay out on the edge of the city, and it's definitely poorer than my old neighborhood. Not "run-from-your-car-to-your-door-before-the-crackheads-have-a-chance-to-hassle-you" poor, but definitely more blue-collar than the previous one. Now, the kids out here know how to do it. cheap-ass costumes (I swear, one kid just had a ratty bath towel safety-pinned around his neck), and pillowcases or trash bags to hold your loot. The cardinal rule: cover as much ground as you can, as fast as possible. Screw the sidewalks, run through the yards. Blurt out "TRICKORTREATTHANKYOU!" and start running before the candy hits the bottom of your bag. Some kids were even on razor scooters or skates to go faster. I was having flashbacks to my own childhood. It almost brought a tear to my eye.

Best costume: Three junior-high kids pretty elaborately made up as KISS. They had Gene, Paul and Ace, no Peter. I asked them how they were going to do "Beth". I don't think they got it.

The only bummer of the night was what my next-door-neighbor was handing out: juice boxes. JUICE BOXES?!?! Seriously, people, it's one night a year, and for kids, it's the second-greatest-holiday this side of Christmas. Ditch the apples and pennies and pony up for some decent candy. If those kids really are anything like me when I was a kid, that lady's gonna have a dozen smashed juice boxes on her porch tommorrow morning. But then, I was a bastard...