Bring me the head of Lee Iacocca!

Reminiscing about the CB650 the other day got me thinking about past motorized adventures... I remember that around age 12 or so, like many males, I saw the newfound freedom gained by my older siblings when they received a driver's license, and I became fascinated by anything motorized. While it would be a few years before I was allowed near anything with four wheels, there was always something for us to create havoc with - someone always managed to scrape up enough money to buy a scooter or moped or dirtbike that would last for one summer of thrashing. The ones I remember:

198? 50cc Honda Spree - Bought by my friend Dwayne, who, at 15, was 6'5" and 275lbs. If he didn't look ridiculous enough on it, we usually rode 2-up on it while jumping curbs, doing donuts on the lawn, etc. The muffler was already hanging off, the seat was missing altogether and the plastic was held on with zip ties, it finally gave up the ghost and is probably still languishing in his mom's garage.

198? Honda Urban Express - This thing was actually sort of cool looking, like if an Eastern European paramilitary group decided to design a moped. Owned by Matt, it was cosmetically excellent but had a problem with the automatic choke that would randomly leave you stranded, as it did to me at 2AM in the middle of winter while it was raining. (I was borrowing it without Matt's knowledge at the time, so I guess it served me right).

1974 Yamaha DT360 - Owned by Steve, it was waaaaay too big for us to ride (most of us had to stand on the concrete steps on the back of the house to get a leg over it), but that didn't stop us. It was obscenely loud, and we would take it to the local gravel pits and try our best to break our necks until the cops told us to knock it off.

198? Honda moped - probably the nicest of the list, because the owner, Don, had rich parents - I think it was the only one of the bunch that was purchased new. We would beg Don to let us ride it, then proceed to thrash it as soon as we were out of sight. Troy & I were riding double on it down a trail one day and flew off - He still has the scar from the tailpipe burn on his calf. I also blasted through the stop sign at the busiest intersection in town while trying to catch up to some friends, came within inches of getting creamed, and wound up lying on my back in the Lion's Club flower bed.

197? Yamaha PW50 - if the DT360 was two times too big for us, the PW50 was two times too small. Owned by Pat (the only 18-year-old ninth grader I ever knew), who conveniently had a network of trails behind his house. The shifter was badly bent so we would just ride around with the engine screaming in first gear. It's probably still around somewhere - these are still in production and last forever.

and my favorite...

1978 JC Penney Pinto moped - yep, you read that right, not only did JC Penney sell a house-brand moped through its catalog, it shared its model name with with the car best known for self-immolation. Actually a re-branded single speed Puch, I bought this from a local girl for $75 when I was 14. As if the indignities of the make & model names weren't enough, it was BRIGHT orange. I soon remedied that with several coats of dark blue Rustoleum, although at 14 I had never heard of "surface prep" - the blue paint was soon flaking off in large chunks, which actually resulted in a kinda cool 'urban-camouflage-on-mescaline' look. The tank was rusty, so I had to rebuild the carb every couple of weeks, and after only one incident of losing my eyebrows, I learned how important it is to put the boot back on the plug FIRMLY after squirting a healthy dose of ether into the cylinder. I actually did a fair refurb on this moped after I got my first car, rewiring the duct-taped electrical system, replacing all the broken controls & toggle switches, splicing a removable filter into the fuel line, and sanding & repainting it (somewhat more) properly. I then proceeded to sell it to the village idiot who tore it apart in one day and demanded his money back when he couldn't put it back together.

I'm sure I'm missing numerous go-karts, home-made mini-bikes and other contraptions, but those are the highlights.