Movin' on up...

Is there any better feeling than knowing there's a box full of shiny new hardware on the way? I can almost smell the outgassing long-chain monomers now. Things have been kinda tight this year financially, but I forgot that I can cash out excess personal/sick time at work at the end of the year, so I converted enough to swing the new computer and to put a deposit on a new engine for Das Bus.

This will actually be my first Mac - At home, I've been a Windows user exclusively (except for playing around with some Linux distros) ever since I packed up the Commodore 64, simply because games were important and commodity hardware is dirt cheap by nature. The Mac Mini changes all that, though. Persistent problems with Windows (nothing unusual, just the same problems everyone has) coupled with ever-more-frequent hardware problems with my 4-year-old box in the past year made me decide to give it a shot. A co-worker assures me I can use my current external USB hard drive & DVD burner, and I haven't played PC games since college - 95% of my computer use nowadays is simple email, web browsing, typing letters and pulling pictures off my digital camera. The only potential sticking point was that I have some high-end software (PhotoShop, Adobe Premiere) that I won't be able to use anymore, but A.) most of the versions I have are already 5 or 6 years old, and B.) I rarely use them for anything more complicated than cropping photos or editing home movies, so I don't think it's anything that the iLife bundle can't handle. (Besides, there's a spankin' new PowerMac G5 gathering dust at work with Final Cut Studio if I want to get fancy. Throw in OpenOffice and the Gimp, (both free), and we're set.

Probably the only way to make this entry remotely interesting is to mention that a former co-worker of mine was in one of the original Apple "Switch" ads. Aaron was the Network Admin at a television station I used to work at, and became very familiar with the Macs used by the editors & art department - he's become quite the Apple devotee.

Bring me the head of Lee Iacocca!

Reminiscing about the CB650 the other day got me thinking about past motorized adventures... I remember that around age 12 or so, like many males, I saw the newfound freedom gained by my older siblings when they received a driver's license, and I became fascinated by anything motorized. While it would be a few years before I was allowed near anything with four wheels, there was always something for us to create havoc with - someone always managed to scrape up enough money to buy a scooter or moped or dirtbike that would last for one summer of thrashing. The ones I remember:

198? 50cc Honda Spree - Bought by my friend Dwayne, who, at 15, was 6'5" and 275lbs. If he didn't look ridiculous enough on it, we usually rode 2-up on it while jumping curbs, doing donuts on the lawn, etc. The muffler was already hanging off, the seat was missing altogether and the plastic was held on with zip ties, it finally gave up the ghost and is probably still languishing in his mom's garage.

198? Honda Urban Express - This thing was actually sort of cool looking, like if an Eastern European paramilitary group decided to design a moped. Owned by Matt, it was cosmetically excellent but had a problem with the automatic choke that would randomly leave you stranded, as it did to me at 2AM in the middle of winter while it was raining. (I was borrowing it without Matt's knowledge at the time, so I guess it served me right).

1974 Yamaha DT360 - Owned by Steve, it was waaaaay too big for us to ride (most of us had to stand on the concrete steps on the back of the house to get a leg over it), but that didn't stop us. It was obscenely loud, and we would take it to the local gravel pits and try our best to break our necks until the cops told us to knock it off.

198? Honda moped - probably the nicest of the list, because the owner, Don, had rich parents - I think it was the only one of the bunch that was purchased new. We would beg Don to let us ride it, then proceed to thrash it as soon as we were out of sight. Troy & I were riding double on it down a trail one day and flew off - He still has the scar from the tailpipe burn on his calf. I also blasted through the stop sign at the busiest intersection in town while trying to catch up to some friends, came within inches of getting creamed, and wound up lying on my back in the Lion's Club flower bed.

197? Yamaha PW50 - if the DT360 was two times too big for us, the PW50 was two times too small. Owned by Pat (the only 18-year-old ninth grader I ever knew), who conveniently had a network of trails behind his house. The shifter was badly bent so we would just ride around with the engine screaming in first gear. It's probably still around somewhere - these are still in production and last forever.

and my favorite...

1978 JC Penney Pinto moped - yep, you read that right, not only did JC Penney sell a house-brand moped through its catalog, it shared its model name with with the car best known for self-immolation. Actually a re-branded single speed Puch, I bought this from a local girl for $75 when I was 14. As if the indignities of the make & model names weren't enough, it was BRIGHT orange. I soon remedied that with several coats of dark blue Rustoleum, although at 14 I had never heard of "surface prep" - the blue paint was soon flaking off in large chunks, which actually resulted in a kinda cool 'urban-camouflage-on-mescaline' look. The tank was rusty, so I had to rebuild the carb every couple of weeks, and after only one incident of losing my eyebrows, I learned how important it is to put the boot back on the plug FIRMLY after squirting a healthy dose of ether into the cylinder. I actually did a fair refurb on this moped after I got my first car, rewiring the duct-taped electrical system, replacing all the broken controls & toggle switches, splicing a removable filter into the fuel line, and sanding & repainting it (somewhat more) properly. I then proceeded to sell it to the village idiot who tore it apart in one day and demanded his money back when he couldn't put it back together.

I'm sure I'm missing numerous go-karts, home-made mini-bikes and other contraptions, but those are the highlights.

The aftermath...

I was just going through some old unlabeled Zip disks lying around my office and found some pictures of my friend Adam's R6 from a couple years ago, after he went over backwards while trying to do a wheelie at 50MPH:










See how the left side of the tank is smashed flat? His body was between the bike and the pavement when that happened. Yes, he was wearing a helmet, and yes, it's the only reason he's alive now (although it was close - he had pretty massive damage to his lungs & kidneys, and was in the hospital for the better part of a month). As it is, the only side effect is a whole lot of titanium in his left arm. Oh, and he doesn't ride like a dipshit anymore.

Metamotopost

Much thanks to Lucky for the linkage today. His previous post about scooters made me laugh - in the past few years, there has been a resurgence in the scooter scene in my area. (In my old neighborhood, I always used to see a local skinhead riding a beautiful vintage Vespa, dripping with chrome). You'll be out riding and suddenly they'll surround you like a swarm of black flies, then *poof* they're gone. If ninjas were still around, they'd ride scooters.

I worked at a motorcycle dealership for several years, and every once in a while, under the pretense of "we need to re-arrange the showroom", we would move every single bike & ATV outside and then put them back. Of course, all the employees would have to take a few laps on each one, "just to make sure they're running okay". ("Wouldn't want the carbs to get all gummed up, wouldja Boss?") I got to ride just about every bike that you were likely to find on the market from 1998 - 2002 - Hayabusas, GSXR 1000's, custom choppers, TL1000's, Honda Blackbirds, Goldwings, you name it. You know what got the most use during those sessions? The scooters. Specifically, the Zumas, which we had in abundance. There's nothing more ridiculous yet more fun than six grown men having "scooter drags" across a 2-acre parking lot (except maybe the "longest indoor ATV wheelie" contests that would happen occasionally in the warehouse).

Lucky also mentioned Still Life with Cranston Ritchie, another blog I dig. (The saga of the garagemobile has been tremendously entertaining). Surly has an affection for SOHC Hondas, which I can relate to - my first "real" bike was a 1981 CB650 (complete with a funky Windjammer fairing). I had designs of turning it into a cafe racer, but alas, it needed more time and attention than I could give it. (One thing I've learned in years of dealing with heaps: No matter how attached you are to a vehicle, if it develops the dreaded "persistent intermittent electrical problems", just walk away. It will suck your wallet & your lifeforce dry. (Unless it's a British bike - then the wallet-sucking is normal)). I sold it (and boxes and boxes of spare parts) to a mechanic (the real kind, not a joker with a wrench like me) who seemed pretty capable, so hopefully it lives on. I think there might still be some pics on my parent's computer, I'll have to check next time I'm over there...

Here's to optimism...

So, there's a little chunk of land on the way to my grocery store that's had a "For Sale" sign on it for the better part of a year now. Not much, about an acre with a smallish pole-barn/brick facade building on it. There were several old cars, trailers, etc. on the property, so I assumed it was being used as an independent body shop or something along those lines. Looked pretty much perfect for my needs, and only a couple of miles from home. Curiosity got the best of me today and I decided to call about it. The agent gives me the rundown on the land and the building, then tells me the price: $250,000.00. A QUARTER OF A MILLION DOLLARS. I almost dropped the phone. For a little over an acre and a 3,000 sq. ft. outbuilding. The agent told me, "Well, that area's only going to continue to grow". Now, this area is populated by a National Guard base and hubs for most of the major shipping companies (UPS, Fed Ex, Forward Air, etc.) The only "commercially viable" parcels of land in this area need to be big enough to build a 50,000 sq. ft. warehouse on - this chunk of land wouldn't be big enough for a parking lot. The whole area is a horrible location for office space and would be death to a retail store. On top of that, the agent told me they will be expanding the road in the near future, taking away a good bit of land, and the whole parcel is subject to some ultra-wacky zoning regs becuase it is bordered by residential, commercial, military and free-trade zone land("But it would be easy to get it re-zoned"). Yeah right. Betcha it's still for sale this time next year...

WTB: Base of operations

Living on a single income with a mortgage, there isn't a whole lot of extra cash for luxuries (and I'm still begging off with the student loan people). However, I have decided that as much as I love condo livin', I need more room for my projects. I am casually looking for a few acres on the outskirts of town that I can put a pole barn or a Steelmaster building on (or maybe not). I don't want to finance the land so it will probably take me a few years to afford it, but soon after that you may well hear rumblings on the news about a "compound", and my name will undoubtedly be married to phrases such as "ascent to leadership" and "month-long siege".

I went riding the other day on orders from Lucky, since he was bedridden and unable to do so himself. I'm glad I did, as it was a beautiful evening and the bike will soon be going into hibernation - although, for some reason, I am currently engaged in negotiations to add another to the stable, although I'm sure it will need some modifications to make it more my style.

Mr. Jalopy had a great post the other day about the Apple II that made me nostalgic for my own early days of computing - after a short-lived interest in the TI 99/4a that my parents recieved as a promo with the purchase of wall-to-wall carpeting for the upstairs, I spent a summers' worth of lawn-mowing profits on a decked-out Commodore C64 that was cast off by a neighborhood rich kid who got an Amiga for Christmas. (I still have a closet full of Commodore gear that was given to me years later, still in the original boxes, that I haven't had the time or energy to hook up yet). Seeking a quick fix, I downloaded Frodo, which promptly borked my Treo. (To be fair, it's been testy ever since I tried installing some web-based Hotsync software the other day). I eventually got it working, but I can't get it to see the .d64 images - but just bringing up the console is badass. Takes me back to Grade 9 all over again. Too bad I don't have those old phone-book-sized Basic manuals anymore...

It's the time/of the season...

Hmmm. As colder weather approaches, the bike will soon be going into drydock, and suddenly I am facing a renewed interest in Das Bus. A straightforward restoration was the original plan, but lately I've been thinking about a rat rod parts hauler with a sliding ragtop, 1914cc engine, BRM wheels and a narrowed beam w/ dropped spindles. All of this is because I have been spending entirely too much time at Volksrods.com. Watch for updates in the upcoming projects section.

Can you hear me now / is it in you?

The aforementioned Treo 650 is a dream come true for a gadget-freak like me - I can usually leave the man purse behind now, since my phone/camera/MP3 player/Palm/dayrunner has now been consolidated into a single device. I still had a year left on my contract so I had to pay full price for the Treo, but in my opinion it was well worth it (even though the phone reception sucks ass compared to my Nokia 3589).

So, a few weeks ago I stopped for gas on my way to work. I noticed a sign advertising 32oz. bottles of Gatorade on sale - 2 for $2. Since they recently took away the water cooler and the vending machine at work steals my money 50% of the time, I grabbed a couple on the way out, tossed them onto the passenger seat and drove on.

When I get to work I shut the car off and start to gather my stuff to head inside. When I reach for my phone, I can't help but notice that it seems to be a lot colder and wetter than I remember - turns out that the bottlecap on one of the bottles of Gatorade was cracked, and since the seatcovers in my car are neoprene (the material wetsuits are made of) my phone had been marinating in a puddle of Citrus Cooler for the last twenty minutes.

(Just for your infomation, if any piece of valuable electronics you own ever gets wet, the ABSOLUTE LAST thing you should ever do is TURN IT ON. But that's the first thing I did, of course. The phone actually did turn on - when the keyboard backlighting turned on, the buttons were ORANGE, and the phone was switching back and forth between different applications at random.)

I actually did get the phone working again - a quick search on teh intarweb reveals that this happens surprisingly often, and it could have been worse (I read stories of people dropping their cell phones in swimming pools, the ocean, and even a port-a-potty). I removed the battery, flooded the phone with denatured alcohol, rinsed it thoroughly, and put it in the oven on the lowest setting for a few hours. Every feature on the phone worked, although it was a little "swollen" looking from it's time in the oven, and the LCD had some funky ghost images on it. I called my provider and they agreed to send me a new phone for $50 since I didn't have insurance but it was still under factory warranty (I might have left out some of the details about what happened...)

Testing...

..trying to get posting to work from my Treo. If you can see this, it works.

So the basic idea...

...is to provide a place for me to bitch. 'Cause you don't get enough of that already.