General Discontent

Ain't No Time To Hate

2010-07-24T00:38:00.002-04:00

I have to say, I am incredibly proud of my fellow nerds for this story:

Comic-Con Fans Scare Away Westboro Baptist Church

About a week ago, we reporting that members of the Westboro Baptist Church were planning to protest Comic-Con on July 22nd for about an hour, claiming that people have turned comic book characters into idols.

For those who have never heard of the church... It is headed by Fred Phelps and is known for protesting funerals of American servicemen killed overseas.

As promised, several church members showed up to protest, but they quickly ran into about two hundred Comic-Con fans, who were dressed up as superheroes and carried signs that read everything from "Odin is God" to "God loves Gay Robin." As a result, the protesters gave up and left the San Diego event early.

Phelps & his family cult (the "church" is composed almost entirely of his own family), are a hate group who first rose to prominence by protesting the funerals of murdered homosexuals & AIDS patients with signs such as "God hates fags". (I'm not going to get into debating their logic or link to them, since they're idiots who are better ignored). Some friends & I were discussing the above story via email, and I think one of them summed it up best:

"The Westboro idiots made the mistake of stepping into someone
else's absurdity, so mocking was the completely appropriate
response".

I think he's exactly right. While there are groups such as the Patriot Guard Riders who dedicate themselves to peacefully opposing Westboro Baptist, it still creates the publicity & tension they want. The beauty of the counter-protest at Comic Con was that it was the perfect counter-point to these idiots and their absurd cause - by being even more absurd and more ridiculous (albeit in a fun way), it completely robbed them of any power they have to incite hatred.

Good job, guys.

Looking Through A Glass Onion

2010-06-11T03:46:00.004-04:00

I know that most of the people who read this blog don't do so for my opinions on computers & technology, but there's been something bugging me lately - Steve Jobs. See I looove Apple products & their design aesthetic - but, I recently bought Android - powered phones for my wife & I, mostly because AT&T's network is crap in my area. As such, I've been paying a lot more attention to articles, podcasts, etc., regarding phones in general. Even the least technology-oriented of you have probably heard about the controversy of the leaked iPhone. While I definitely didn't approve of the treatment of the journalist (yes, media outlets, some bloggers are legitimate journalists, get over it), what really ticked me off was this interview, where Jobs said the following:

"I got a lot of advice from people that said, 'you've gotta just let it slide..You shouldn't go after a journalist because they bought stolen property and they tried to extort you'...I ended up concluding that the worst thing that could possibly happen..is if we [Apple] change our core values and start letting it slide. I can't do that; I'd rather quit."

Never mind that not only did they NOT try to "extort you" (actually, they tried to give the phone back first), Let's talk about your "core values". Apple included freakin' CIRCUIT DIAGRAMS with the Apple IIe. Now your hardware is locked up ten ways from Sunday. It's not user servicable. We can't write our own code or install programs unless you pre-approve it. We have to use your approved accessories, or resort to buying knock-offs from Chinese sweatshops for pennies on the dollar. You've bent over backward making concessions to get into bed with the music & book publishing companies. You deny access to one of the most popular Internet platforms of all time because of a stupid fifteen-year-old grudge. You ruin people over speculation on a web site. You're so far away from Apple's "core values" that jack-booted thugs kicking in a harmless tech journalist's door is the least troubling thing in the big picture.

Remember, "If you can't open it, you don't own it".

Thank You

2010-05-31T11:47:00.000-04:00

Photo by IslesPunkFan

With A Sword And A Pistol By His Side

2010-05-26T20:35:00.000-04:00

Hey all -

Got the bike registered and cleaned up the other day, taking it's condition from "deplorable" to "barely acceptable" in an afternoon. It still needs a thorough detail job and an oil change, but I worked on it for five hours the other day, on the hottest day of the year so far, in the middle of the afternoon - I didn't even think about sunscreen, so now I'm doing a pretty good impression of a lobster without even trying. I'm going to snap some pics and maybe even a riding vid here soon, but we've had a guy out at work and I keep getting called in for OT. The only other notable thing is some supplies for the cellar that arrived today:

-MacBaren Plumcake

-McClelland Frog Morton

-bulk Sugar Barrel

-Brebbia polish

-shank brush

-lots 'o cleaners!

Nobody Knows Anything About My Existence

2010-05-20T02:11:00.000-04:00

So while we were in Gatlinburg there were several tobacconists I was hoping to visit, but unfortunately I didn't get the chance to - this was a family vacation with my parents, and while my wife doesn't care about my pipes, I didn't want to get The Look from my Mom. However, we did make a trip to one of my favorite shops in the area, Smoky Mountain Knife Works. The main reason was that I wanted to pick up a Case Baby Doc to use as a pipe knife. Everyone split up and while I was walking to their Case department, I passed by their Zippo section and saw a very nice Peterson gift set that included a Donegal Rocky #106 and a Zippo lighter with pipe chimney. Since I had budgeted part of my vacation money for a new pipe, and I didn't own a Peterson yet, I decided to pick it up:

...and here is the knife I picked up, a Case Baby Doc with green jigged bone handles:

...anyways, more on my other knife acquisitions in a day or two. I'm also planning on working on the bike in the next week or so, stay tuned.

Every Picture Tells A Story Don't It

2010-05-16T22:48:00.001-04:00

Hey all -

Just got back from a vacation in the Smokies with my wife & parents - I'll have some posts coming up about that, but until then here are some pics I took on the trip:

(Click for full size)

Project Files: High Voltage

2010-04-29T23:53:00.004-04:00

So the wife & I have several mini-vacations planned this summer - one of the things that's always a pain for a gadget freak like me is running all over the house, rounding up & unplugging all the various chargers / cables / batteries / etc. for all my gizmos, and packing them away. The good news is that you can get a charger for just about anything on eBay nowadays, usually for under three bucks shipped (as long as you're willing to wait for it to come on the slow boat from China). Over the past couple of months I've been buying bits & pieces to make a kit that would be able to charge damn near everything I own, from just about any source - then it could live in my truck or suitcase and I wouldn't have to worry about it any more. I had a gift certificate to Dick's Sporting Goods that was expiring, and found a cool little North Face travel bag on clearance that looked perfect for it. Here it is:

3.5mm audio cable
110v AC to USB adapter (x2)
2000mAh battery w/ USB / mini-USB / Nintendo DS adapter
iPod A/V output cable
USB angle extension
USB female to male adapter
USB to Samsung cable
Retractable mini-USB cable
12v outlet splitter
Retractable iPod cable (x2)
Retractable USB cable (x2)
12v Nintendo DS charger
12v to USB adapter
Spare headphones (x2)
AA/AAA battery charger
4 AA & 4 AAA lithium ion rechargeable batteries
4 AA Energizer Titanium batteries
12v to Motorola charger
Stanley 4-in1 screwdriver
Gerber Artifact multi-tool

I'm still waiting on a 110v AC to 12v inverter, and a 110v charger for the wife's phone to arrive in the mail to complete it. When this is in my truck, it accompanied by a 400w inverter, so that gives me yet another option. One of these days I'm gonna pony up for one of those really nice Brunton folding solar chargers, and I'll be good to go anywhere...

Bent All Out Of Shape

2010-04-29T00:47:00.000-04:00

So when I bought my Kaywoodie Canadian on an impulse, I went online and started researching Kaywoodies, since I knew practically nothing about them. While browsing their shape charts, I came across the Chinrester:

(Info from The Kaywoodie Compendium)

I was immediately taken with this oddball pipe. It's design is completely superfluous - there are many other pipes you could buy that are a more accommodating shape for a "clencher". It seems like a solution in search of a problem. But it's also one of those things that's oddly elegant in it's functionality - like a last-minute fix that a frustrated pipe smoker came up with using a blowtorch or a heat gun, and it worked so well he decided to sell 'em.

I started browsing eBay, and got outbid on some Kaywoodies, but wound up finding a Yello-Bole version for a song:

(Kaywoodie & Yello-Bole were bought by the same firm in 1955, so this is essentially the same pipe, sold under a different brand). I couldn't really tell from the auction posting, but the pipe is barely used - it looks like it's had maybe one partial bowl smoked in it. Not a bad find for ten bucks...

Hey Bulldog Woof

2010-04-15T00:12:00.000-04:00

The postman dropped something off for me today:

... a Butz-Choquin rusticated bulldog from Iwan Ries and Co,, along with some of their house blend "Ko Ko" (a burley blend) and a free sample of their own Three Star Blue. I have been wanting a bulldog for a while, and I couldn't pass up the price on this one. I was wondering if I would like it, as opinions on French-made pipes in general, and Butz-Choquins in particular, are pretty polarized. I'm happy to report that it smokes great - it probably stayed cooler than any other pipe I own. the acrylic bit doesn't feel as "sturdy" as some other I own, but at the price I paid I'm not going to complain...

I Spent Some Time In The Mudville Nine

2010-04-10T05:18:00.001-04:00

I saw something today that made me gag just looking at the package:

In case you can't tell from the crappy cell phone pic, those are HOT DOG FLAVORED POTATO CHIPS.

Bleeeargh.

Fixing A Hole

2010-04-08T01:39:00.002-04:00

Hey all -

Did some tweaking to the blog... Blogger added a much-needed "labels" function since I played with it last - you'll see different categories one the right, so if you're looking for a specific topic check there first.

-dG

...And The Piper At The Gates of Dawn

2010-04-06T07:38:00.013-04:00

So Red mentioned that he picked up a pipe, and I warned of the dangers of falling down the rabbit hole that is pipe collecting. He was interested in seeing some of my collection, so I thought I'd post 'em here.

A bit of background - I was a cigarette smoker for, oh, sixteen years or so. This wasn't a problem when I was a teenager, but when I got older I got tired of not being able to run up a flight of stairs without wheezing, as well as not being able to smoke anywhere. I gave up cigarettes but increased my consumption of smokeless tobacco, which was my father's primary vice for most of his life. After I met my wife, she made it clear that she was none too fond of that habit. I am pretty much resigned to my fate as a nicotine addict, and she finds a pipe the least objectionable method of delivery, so that is how we arrived here. On top of all that I, like many others, have fond memories of my grandfather and his pipes, as evidenced by this picture of me at his house thirty-some years ago:

Aren't I cute? Anyway. I warned Red about the expense of pipe collecting, but the truth is it can be as cheap or as expensive as you want it to be. You can collect $5 corncobs or $50 Savenelli's or $100 Stanwells or $500 Dunhills or $1000+ artisan pipes and have as much fun as the next guy, regardless of the size of your bank account. Here's a few picks from my modest collection:

Missouri Meerschaum corncobs

Few pipes smoke as consistently good as Missouri Meerschaum corncob pipes - even the most elitist pipe snobs will admit that. Considering that most of them are under $10, picking up one of these + a pouch of Prince Albert or Captain Black is one of the cheapest, and most rewarding, ways to start a pipe-smoking career. The chief complaint about MM cobs is the cheap plastic bits. (The second-most common complaint is that you look like a Hayseed smoking them, but I'm past vanity at this point in my life). The pipe in the foreground of this picture came from my local drugstore and lives in my truck, where I don't care what happens to it. The pipe in the background is one of the "higher end" MM cobs with a hardwood bottom, and has an acrylic replacement "Forever Stem" from Walker Briar Works. With the Forever Stem + MM cob, you can be into a pipe that smokes as well as anything on the planet for around twenty-five bucks.

Club bent rusticated billiard

This was my first briar pipe, what would usually be referred to as a "basket" pipe (so called because many manufacturers offer cheaper machine made / factory second pipes at a discount to tobacconists, who would keep these inexpensive pipes in a basket by the cash register, for novices or as cheap impulse buys). I am lucky enough to have a nice tobacconist shop just around the corner from my work, and when I was ready to move on from "drugstore" tobacco, I stopped in and asked their advice. They set me up with this pipe and a sampling of their most popular blends. While not a high-dollar pipe by any means, this pipe smokes nicely.

Nording Natural Freehand

Erik Nørding is a giant in the pipe world, arguably the most famous of the Danish pipe makers, and with good reason. This was my first "brand name" pipe, and it's one of my favorites (I'm smoking it right now as I'm typing this). The "natural" means that the bowl is unstained & unwaxed, which is kind of neat because the pipe naturally darkens over time from the tobacco and the oils in your hands, resulting in a truly "one-of-a-kind" piece.

Falcon straight

The Falcon is an interesting concept - they use an aluminum stem and threaded wooden bowls to create a modular pipe system. See, briar pipes should be "rested" between smokes, to release the retained moisture - some say up to several days for best results. The concept with the Falcon is that the aluminum stem helps cool the smoke, and the customer could purchase several bowls that could be swapped out, eliminating the need for multiple pipes throughout the day. The above Falcon was assembled from a box of parts purchased on eBay that unfortunately turned out to be 90% junk - this is only serviceable pipe that I was able to put together out of all of it.

Kaywoodie Canadian

For a long time, Kaywoodie had a reputation as a good, solid, inexpensive "working man's pipe", although in actuality they produced pipes than ran the gamut from drug-store cheapies to high-end artisan pipes. Unfortunately, after purchase by a new owner in the 1970's quality went in the toilet, and the reputation of the company suffered for a long time. Today, a new owner is working hard to restore the Kaywoodie name to it's former glory, and collectors are re-discovering the higher-quality Kaywoodies from earlier times. Judging from the nomenclature, I believe the above pipe is from 1955 - 1956. I picked it up at my local tobacconists' shop, and it's quickly become one of my favorites.

Dr. Grabow Riviera

There are probably more Dr. Grabow pipes out there than just about anything else. If you start searching thrift stores & flea markets for "estate" pipes ("estate" is just a nice-sounding term for "used") 90% of them are going to be no-name basket pipes or Dr. Grabows. And for good reason - they're not bad pipes for the money, at all. (I think the current high-end Dr. Grabow retails in the $20 range, and is available at most drugstores). I bought this homely little pipe, cleaned & sanitized, for $8 off eBay.

As if the pipes weren't bad enough, smokers bitten by the bug quickly get the urge to try as many different tobaccos as possible, and you will start hearing people talking about their "cellars" - this just means their tobacco "stash", to borrow a less elegant term. Many people buy tobaccos in quantity and age them, like wine. Here is a pic of my modest cellar:

There are more different kinds of tobacco out there than I can even go into here, and many others do a much better job of speaking to that than I could. And I haven't even touched on tampers, or pouches, or racks, or a million other topics that pipe aficionados love to debate endlessly. Here are some links I've found useful:

Pipe Smokers Forum
Tamp & Puff
Pipe Chat
Smokers Forums
Tobacco Reviews.com

So anyways...

2010-04-06T07:25:00.006-04:00

...where were we?

Oh, right. Anyways, regarding my extended absence: My wife is currently working full time AND attending nursing school full time - one of the reasons for this is so we can "work less, live more" down the road. Part of the agreement is that I assume ALL the household duties while she's in school - so in addition to my full-time job and freelance work, I am doing all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. On top of all this, we are making a conscious effort to spend more time with our families, all of whom live between 90 minutes - 9 hours away from us.

So, yeah.

As far as the state of the blog, I am hoping to revamp the site in the coming weeks. A lot of the people who I view as "contemporaries" as far as blogging (in that we all started around the same time & watched each other try to figure all this out) have changed the name, look, and/or focus of their blogs to better suit them, and I am sorely behind in this area. While I would love to have the focus to produce an informative, up-to-date blog on a singular topic, I've got the attention span of a fruit fly and always have. I'm going to try to find a way to "compartmentalize" my posts according to my different hobbies/interests, and hopefully all of you will bear with my growing pains for a while...

Chillaxin'

2009-06-19T06:01:00.005-04:00

Hey all. Not much to write about lately - to be honest, I've been doing too much "real life" socializing with friends & family to update the blog much, and I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing. Hope everyone's having a good summer, I'll be back to regular updates shortly.

Want To Entertain Your Cats?

2009-03-04T02:05:00.002-05:00

...get a bird.

Express Yourself

2008-11-05T01:49:00.004-05:00

Pumpkins Scream In The Dead Of Night

2008-10-29T06:01:00.003-04:00

The way we roll:

Happy Halloween, everybody!

Project Files: Everyday I'm At My Desk

2008-07-25T00:32:00.004-04:00

So, my Mom practically lives at thrift stores / garage sales / estate auctions / etc.- one positive side effect of this is that if you need furniture, appliances, clothes, or just about anything else, she has it and will gladly give it to you. She buys stuff that's a bargain regardless of whether or not she needs it, because she knows she'll find a home for it eventually. Think of it as a combination of freecycling and karma.

The down side of her affliction is that all the stuff is in constant rotation, and sometimes she gives away valuable antiques, or family heirlooms even, for cheap or free. One of the items I was long concerned about was my childhood desk - I made it very clear, in no uncertain circumstances, that this was to be kept for me until I had room for it. Well, now that I've bought my own place the chickens are coming home to roost, because a load of my old crap shows up every time she visits. Last time she was giving us a freezer she came across, and loaded next to it on the trailer? Yep, my old desk.

I thought I would do a write-up of my first attempt at furniture refinishing, in the hopes it will inspire someone to rescue a nice piece of old furniture instead of buying more of that put-it-together-yourself-with-an-allen-wrench stuff. Besides, most of that flat-pack furniture is crap - It's usually slightly unsteady at best, the particle board shelves sag after a year, the plastic laminate on the edges peels off, and if you try to move it the camlocks warp or rip big hunks out of the particle board, rendering it useless. I constantly see beautiful pieces of furniture at thrift stores and garage sales, usually for under ten bucks. All they need is a few free evenings of work and $20 worth of materials.

Here is my starting point:

As I said, it's a basic desk that belonged to my father when he was a boy, and was used by me throughout elementary & high school, so it's at least 60 years old. You can see the surface is scarred by x-acto cuts & enamel paint (from my teenage model-building days), water rings, and lots of general wear. (This is why you don't give a piece of antique furniture to a teenage boy). Some of the cuts in the surface have had dirt ground down into them and will still be visible (unless I planed the top of the desk, which is beyond my skill / finances / motivation at this point). That doesn't really bother me, though - I just see them as "battle scars". The marks on the side are dirt/mildew from being stored in a basement for twenty years. I was told the desk was made of cherry, but I don't know if that's right or not. (sorry for the weird angle on a lot of these pics - I was working on my back patio, which is a pretty tight space).

The first step is to give the piece a good cleaning, preferably with a damp rag (don't bother using furniture polish or wood soap at this point, it's all gonna get stripped off soon). After the piece dries, you're ready to strip. I purchased a product called "Peel Away 6":

I bought this product because it is supposedly low-odor and more environmentally friendly than a lot of the other products, and it was a fairly small container (I didn't need a gallon of stripper). It was under $10. I also got a plastic scraper for a buck, and I had a SOFT wire brush on hand that I used for getting into crevices:

***CAUTION*** FOLLOW ALL DIRECTIONS WHEN WORKING WITH CHEMICAL STRIPPERS AND OTHER CHEMICALS!!! Some of this stuff is nasty. Wear gloves and work in a well-ventilated area, preferable outside. Dispose of all chemicals, rags, etc., in the proper manner.

The first step is brushing the stripper on - I used cheap disposable foam brushes, just 'cause it's easier. Unfortunately I don't have any pictures of this step, as I was up to my wrists in caustic chemicals and wasn't about to grab my digital camera. Just follow the instructions and brush on an even coat. The "dwell time" (how long you let the stripper soak in) on my product was listed as "From 1 - 48 hours". Gee, thanks. I let the stripper soak for 3 - 4 hours and tried scraping:

The old finish came up pretty easily, except in a few spots. After I removed all the stripper, I re-applied it to the few spots that still had some of the old finish stuck to them and let them soak for a few more hours. This got off 95% of the old finish.

After you are done stripping, the piece needs to be wiped down with mineral spirits:

(About $6 for a can, I think). This deactivates the stripper and leaves a clean surface to work with.

Wiping down the top:

Using an old toothbrush to get all the stripper out of the spindles:

After being wiped down, I sanded the few spots that still had some stubborn bits of finish stuck to them. I had a detail sander, but it wouldn't have been much work by hand:

I also bought a sanding sponge (around $2) to get into the hard spots:

The sponges are nice because once they get clogged with sawdust, you can just wash 'em out and reuse them.

After sanding, I wiped the desk down with mineral spirits again, mostly just to get rid of the sawdust.

Before the desk could be finished, it had a few repairs that needed addressed. Luckily, none of then are particularly difficult. The first is four small holes on the left edge where someone had a desk lamp screwed into the surface:

For this repair, I used stainable wood filler ($2 a tube) and a putty knife:

Get any loose sawdust or debris out of the holes, then squirt the filler in:

Smooth the filler out with a putty knife:

Note: Don't scrape the filler off flush with the surface yet - leave it "mounded" up a little. The filler shrinks as it dries, and if you leave it flush now there will be depressions after it dries, and you'll have to do it again. After the filler cures, sand it down flush with the surface.

The next repair is that one of side of the drawer has come unglued:

This is easily fixed with a little glue along the dovetails...

...and a clamp:

Wipe off the excess wood glue with a damp paper towel before it dries. I let this repair sit overnight.

Now we're ready for staining. I used a small container of cherry stain and a sponge brush:

(Again, I don't have pics of the stain being applied, 'cause I had my hands full). Just brush on a nice even coat. After it sits for 5 - 15 minutes, wipe it off:

DO NOT let the stain sit until it gets tacky, or you'll regret it - it'll be a major pain to get off.

After the first coat of stain:

In the above picture you can see kind of a whitish haze along the short edges - I don't know if this was because I didn't get all of the stripper off, or because I was working outside in humid conditions, but I had to spot sand these areas and wipe them down with mineral spirits again. After that, I applied a second coat of stain, let is soak for quite a bit longer (probably 30 - 45 minutes), and wiped it off. It looked pretty good after that.

Now, we're ready to seal it. I chose a polyurethane finish:

Looking around on the Internet, a lot of people dislike polyurethane, especially for antique furniture, since it's a modern material and not "period correct". But, it's extremely tough, inexpensive, and easy for an amateur to get good results with. This desk was a workhorse for it's first sixty years, and I don't plan on babying it for the next 60, so I choose poly. There's no pics of it being applied (again, hands were full), but you just brush on a nice even coat. DON"T OVERWORK IT, or you'll have brush marks in the final finish - a sponge brush is ideal for polyurethane. Brush marks will settle out as it dries. The instructions for mine said to sand the first coat after four hours with fine sandpaper, then wipe it down and apply the second coat. Unfortunately I had to let the desk sit for a day and a half after the first coat, and when I test-sanded an inconspicuous spot the next day it was showing scratches, so I got nervous and applied the second coat without sanding between coats. Maybe I just got lucky, but I think it came out great:

Overall, I was pretty happy with the results for my first effort. Now I have my eye on a butcher block kitchen island at the local thrift store for $8...

Workin' For A Living

2008-07-19T00:57:00.002-04:00

Maybe that new job might not be such a good idea after all...

Hey Little Sister, What Have You Done?

2008-07-15T01:26:00.003-04:00

So, the wedding's over - it went just like we hoped, simple but elegant, and we didn't have to take out a second mortgage to do it. Now I've been scrambling with home repairs, gardening, etc., trying to get as much done as possible before the wife starts classes next month... look for some project files soon.

No One There To Tell Us What To Do

2008-06-21T05:24:00.003-04:00

So, it's time to plant the garden - last year we did a few smaller varieties of tomatoes, a few pepper plants, some herbs, etc. We were going to plant a little more this year, but were waiting until we got done with our wedding / honeymoon to start. - The wife got a little carried away this year - she was on the road for work the other day, and when she came home she said "I found farmer's market that had all their plants on sale, so I got us some, but we'll need some more pots and potting soil". After we ate dinner we drove to Wal-Mart and went to the garden section, and I said "Okay, what do we need?" She said, "Um, twenty-one more pots. And at least six bags of potting soil".

So we bought twenty-one more pots:

...and 240 lbs. of potting soil:

...and it still wasn't enough. I drilled some holes in the bottom of some spare 5-gallon buckets for some of the tomato plants:

...and we still had to go back to the store for one more pot and another 120 lbs. of potting soil. So far we have:

- 4 grape tomatoes
- 4 cherry tomatoes
- 4 roma tomatoes
- 12 beefsteak tomatoes
- 8 yellow bell peppers
- 4 chili peppers
- 1 tabasco pepper
- 1 serrano pepper
- 2 thyme
- 3 sage
- 3 oregano
- 5 cilantro
- a rectangular planter of green onions
- a metric assload of basil (probably 10 - 15 plants in one big pot)
...and one cactus.

We also had some spinach, but it was left out while we were on vacation and the temperatures were 90+ every day and it got all gnarly (spinach doesn't like heat). My mom is also growing a row in her garden for me - jalapeños, cayenne, squash, & zucchini.

Who says you can't have a garden if you live in a condo?

(This is just were we put them after we got all the plants in the pots - I picked up some planking & brackets at the hardware store today, and will be building some shelves to organize things).

Here's some shots of the front porch:

Most of the herbs are on the plant racks - there's a stray bell pepper plant there 'cause we were running out of room on the back patio.

Green onions are in the rectangular planter at the front of the porch - we tend to pick one or two every couple of days when we make dinner, so they never get that big. A few more pepper plants have migrated up there until I can build some shelves or get some racks for the back patio. The big black mutt is ever vigilant in guarding the plants. I also picked up some spray paint at the hardware store to refinish those chairs & the garden lights - along with an oil change on the bike, I guess my weekend is booked...

Goin' To The Chapel

2008-05-28T00:52:00.003-04:00

My early wedding present:

It's a Trek 7.2 FX. The only major additions so far are a Delta Post Haste seatpost rack & bag, Nashbar Rodeo pedals (clipless on one side, platform on the other) and the usual geegaws (bar ends, cyclocomputer, cages & bottles, etc). I'm meeting a guy tomorrow to pick up an unused Brooks B17 saddle I saw on Craigslist. Unfortunately, the trip I talked about earlier probably isn't gonna happen this year - money, time, & stamina are all in too short of supply. The plan now is to go on a few weekend touring trips this year, do GOBA next year, then see where we're at.

Otherwise, the wedding is a week from Saturday (that's the main reason I haven't posted lately - even though we're having a simple wedding and are both uber-organizers, there's still a million little details to arrange - we both kinda wish we had eloped at this point). After that's the honeymoon, so I'll see you in a couple of weeks...

Don't Shoot Shoot Shoot That Thing At Me

2008-03-25T05:35:00.003-04:00

So, my fiancee had originally said she wanted to buy me a new gun as a wedding present - we had gotten our tax returns and were planning on going out to pick it up soon. A few weeks ago, she said, "I decided I don't want to buy you a gun, I'd rather buy you a new mountain bike instead." (something else I had been shopping for). This was fine with me, although I was a little bit annoyed that I wasn't getting the new gun I had gotten all worked up for.

We went to my Mom's for Easter dinner Sunday, and my mom handed me a birthday card (I wasn't expecting this, my birthday isn't for a few weeks yet). I opened it and it had the standard birthday greeting, and at the bottom it said "P.S. - Don't shoot your eye out". I must have had a puzzled look on my face, so my stepdad motioned for me to follow him into the other room, where he showed me my birthday present:

it's a Beretta AL390 12-gauge autoloader - I strongly suspect it's out of my stepdad's personal collection (he shoots trap & skeet and has an extensive shotgun collection). I was extremely surprised, as birthdays usually aren't a very big deal in my family. He said it was a tradition for the father to give the son a new gun as a wedding gift in his family, but he couldn't wait to give it to me, so that was pretty neat. He even found a Beretta baseball cap to give me with it. He said it's probably ~10 years old, but it looks like it's never been shot - I told him that, he said, "I know, that's why I bought it". I can't wait to take it to the range.

...and that's why my fiancee suddenly "changed her mind" about buying me a gun - she was in on it the whole time!

I Must Get Round To It

2008-03-16T00:37:00.003-04:00

I'm kind of obsessed about being organized. Notice I didn't say I am organized, I just like the idea. Throughout the years, I've had dozens of paper-based organizers (Dayrunners, Daytimers, Filofaxes, etc.), and more than a few PDA's (let's see - 5 Palm OS, 3 Windows Mobile/Windows CE, at least a few others). This is all in addition to carrying my laptop most days. Until a few weeks ago, my daily bag was a 2.400 cubic-inch backpack that usually held:

-My laptop
-Laptop A/C adapter, mini-USB hub, keyboard pad, mouse, 3 flash drives, assorted cables
-Nintendo DS, carrying case, A/C adapter, earbuds, 14 games
-Sony PSP, carrying case, memory sticks, A/C adapter, USB cable, earbuds
-Three games cases with ~30 PSP games
-Full-size iPod
-iPod shuffle
-iPod dock cable
-Dayrunner
-Windows Mobile HPC w/ integrated GPS, sync cable
-Noise-reducing headphones
Digital camera, extra memory cards, spare batteries
-Notebook
-Several textbooks
-Several novels
-Several magazines
-Misc. unfiled bills, work forms, etc.
-Multitool
-Lighters & matches
-Small first-aid kit/travel-size toiletries, etc.

Needless to say, this was getting a bit out of hand. I didn't use half that stuff on a monthly basis, much less daily - I just liked to have it just in case. I decided to seriously slim down what I carried on a daily basis, and to make the stuff I did carry more useful (who needs two games systems and 40+ games with them? I haven't even played the damn things in months!). For a long time I had been drooling over Maxpedition's line of bags (I also have a bit of a problem with getting the latest & greatest bags to haul my gadgets around), but I just couldn't justify spending the money on one, even though I had heard great things. Then, one of the members of a forum I frequent mentioned that a friend had a store that was going out of business, and he could get us Maxpedition stuff at a healthy discount. Since my tax return had just come in, I decided to splurge and ordered a Jumbo Versipack. The bag is great (I'll do a write-up on it soon), but this meant that I was going to be going from 2,400 cubic inches of space to carry my junk to a paltry 340 cubic inches. Clearly, some difficult decisions were going to have to be made...

One of the things I decided to start with was my Dayrunner - for the past few years, I have been using this model:

It's nice and all, but it has several problems: The PDA pocket was designed for a different model PDA than mine, and the PDA routinely tries to fly out when I open it; It's too big; and, probably most importantly, I never, ever use it. I just get a wild hair up my ass every couple of years, go out and blow $40 on up-to-date calendars and refills for it, then it sits in my bag for another two years. I decided to see if I could come up with something better.

I started looking around for a pocket-sized organizer that would do only what I needed - I liked the Levenger notebooks and the Filofax organizers, but they were too pricey (at least $20 to start, and that's before you buy any custom refills). I also don't really care for pre-designed systems - I always feel obligated to fill everything out, then I don't use half of it. I decided to try to come up with something on my own.

While emptying out the aforementioned backpack, I came across a blank Moleskine notebook. I bought it for some forgotten purpose, but I liked the size and it seemed durable. I went to the local drugstore and bought some stick-on tabs and page markers, and on the way out I noticed they had a few sheets of adhesive letters in a clearance bin, so I grabbed those too. Later that night I got on the Internet to see if I could get any ideas for my new organizer, and I was shocked - there's a whole cult based around customized homemade organizers. PigPog, 43 Folders, Pocketmod, Getting Things Done... there is a crazy amount of people hacking their own organizers, and almost all of 'em prefer paper. I read for a couple of days and decided to give it a shot. My version is most closely based on one that I saw at Creating Passionate Users.

As I mentioned before, I started with a Moleskine-style notebook - I don't even know if mine is "authentic" or a knockoff, as I removed the wrapper long ago. The UPC in the back cover says "made for Barnes & Noble", so I think it's a knockoff. Regardless, the genuine article should be available at your local bookstore for around $10. This might seem like a lot for a notebook, but they're hardbound and have a nifty elastic closure, so drop a sawbuck on one, ya cheap bastard.

I bought a set of Post-It flags, a set of Avery Write-On tabs (#16143), and the aforementioned set of Pioneer 3-D black letters. About $4-$5 for this stuff. It seems the preferred Moleskine for this project is the top-hinged "Reporter" model, but I prefer the traditional opening style. I did like the pocket that the Reporter models had inside the back cover, though, so I decided to make my own: I scavenged a folder from my old Dayrunner, along with some scissors and a bottle of contact cement that my employer apparently bought sometime around the Spanish-American War:

I cut the folder to size, applied the contact cement, and secured it with some binder clips while it dried:

Next, I decided to make a phone index for my organizer. This is not for every phone number I have - I have my cell phone, Windows HPC, and iPod that all have my computer's contacts synced to them. I just wanted crucial numbers (family, a few co-workers, etc.) in case I'm ever in a situation where my phone's battery is dead/my HPC is broken/my iPod gets lost/etc. and I need an actual hard copy. Maybe 20-25 numbers total, so it's not a big deal to hand-write them. I took the Avery tabs and diveded up the rear section of the notebook, and used the stick-on letters for the tabs:

A few randomly-placed paper clips allow me to secure business cards, receipts, etc.

Next, I took the Post-It flags and came up with a system using the colors that were available. I wrote a legend on the first page of the notebook:

(Sorry for the blurry pic). Basically, my system breaks down like this:

Blue tab = today
Red tab = yearly calendar
Green tab = upcoming appointments
Orange tab = To do
Yellow tab = Notes/Misc.

You can kind of see that I also wrote "Please return to" with my contact info on the inside cover.

I also found a website that offered an appropriately-sized printable yearly calendar, so I printed one out and glued it in the back cover:

You can also see how the pocket in the rear holds extra tabs & flags. Here is the overall footprint of the finished product:

Overall, I was pretty pleased with how it turned out. It's a much less "rigid" structure than one's I've used in the past, shich is a good thing for me. I'm only locked into using the last twenty pages or so of the notebook for a specific purpose, so it should last me a good long time. The tabs & flags remove cleanly from the pages, so I can use them again later. The notebook is small enough that it fits in the tiny outer pocket of my bag, where my old one took up 60% of the available space in the main compartment. It's also small enough to carry in my pocket by itself, increasing the likelihood that I'll actually have it on me and use it. I'll try it out for a while and report any major revisions...

Look For The Girl With The Sun In Her Eyes

2008-02-16T04:05:00.004-05:00

My girlfriend & I were sitting on the couch - she was watching TV and I was playing on the computer.

GF: "Do you think he enjoys being such a douchebag?
Me: (looks up to see a Priceline.com commercial) "Who?"
GF: "William Shatner."
Me: "God, I hope so. He's certainly got the act down."

(Sorry, Bill).

My Homeboys Tried To Warn Me...

2008-01-29T05:37:00.001-05:00

So, I work a lot of odd hours, including some overnights. Usually this is fine with me - a nice, uneventful shift, no traffic on the way in, no co-workers to hassle me about anything, etc.

That is, up until about a year ago.

Y'see, I work for a company that provides video & data services. At some point, we added a new state-of-the art videoconferencing center, and someone in management decided we needed a toll-free number for clients to call in on. Okay, that makes sense. The problems started when another company (who I won't promote here) misprinted their toll-free number on their catalog - they printed our number (and continue to print our number after many, many months). This company also provides a certain form of "video services" - although their products are of a much less, uh, savory nature than ours. Apparently they specialize in videos featuring African-American women, although it's a bit more specific than that. They specialize in videos featuring African-American women who are gifted in the, um, posterior region.

*Ahem*.

Don't get me wrong, I dig on a ghetto onion as much as the next red-blooded American male. And I'm sure all the actresses in these videos are lovely girls who are just earning money for grad school. But, as you can imagine, you have some pretty interesting conversations when someone calls at 4AM looking for their porn fix, and you have to tell them they have a wrong number. I've had everything from squeaky-voiced teenagers telling me "It's okay dude, you can sell to me, I'm not the cops!" to people cursing me out, to people who just plain refused to believe that I'm not sitting in a giant warehouse full of porno. But last night, I got a great one from a young woman:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Me: "Good evening, (company name that doesn't sound remotely like a porn distributor)

Caller: "Yeah, I'm looking at this catalog you sent me.."

Me: "You have the wrong number, ma'am. The video company printed the wrong number on their catalog." (I've learned from experience to cut people off ASAP, before they say something embarrassing for us both.)

Caller: "Yeah, well, lemme ask you sumthin': How these girls get their booties so BIG!?"

Me: "...uh..."

Caller: "I mean, I don't see HOW it can natural!"

Me: "...I dunno..."

Caller: "I found a place up in New York City that says they can do it for eight hunnerd dollas, but I don't know how they do it!"

Me: "Um... implants, maybe?"

Caller: (laughs) "You a trip! I dunno dog, I'm afraid it wouldn't be healthy, y'know?"

Me: "I guess it wouldn't."

Caller: "So, what's the right number?"

Me: "I don't know - I think if you go to their website it has the right number." (info gleaned from previous callers)

Caller: "Ah, man, can you get on the website and look it up for me? Hook me up, dog!"

Me: I'm at work - I can't look up adult websites, I'd get fired."

Caller: "A'ight dog, I don't want you to get fired - you get back to work!" (laughs)

Me: "Allright, ma'am. Goodnight."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So, how did your phone conversations at work go yesterday?

2008-01-02T02:45:00.001-05:00

The first eleven things that turned up when I told the iPod to play 4228 songs randomly*:

Goodnight L.A. - Counting Crows
I like To Score - Moby
I'm Looking Through You - The Beatles
My Love For You (Has Turned To Hate) - Hank Williams
Day Dream - Smashing Pumpkins
Fucked - Ministry
Rhyme & Reason - Dave Matthews Band
The River - Bruce Springsteen
Big Rock Candy Mountain - Harry McClintock
A Million Miles Away - The Plimsouls
You Really Got Me - The Kinks

*The idea for this post was blatantly stolen from Neil Gaiman.

She Said Yes

2007-12-26T23:20:00.002-05:00

You Just Don't Get It, Keep It Copasetic

2007-11-06T19:02:00.002-05:00

I saw on the news that someone robbed the main branch of the library in my city today. The library. The place where you go to get books for free. He got away with $40 (probably all the late fees for the past year). Way to go, genius. Maybe you should spend a little more time in the library actually reading the books, since this whole "crime" thing is obviously beyond your grasp...

Jaws Was Never My Scene

2007-10-07T21:02:00.001-04:00

Goddamn, my legs are sore. I've been hitting the gym pretty hard lately - I'm officially in training. See, my best friend since age 12 & I used to be pretty active guys - camping twice a month, year round, for the better part of a decade, hiking, bicycling, all that stuff. Fast forward ten years and we're both a whole lot fatter and pretty inactive. We've been talking about getting back into more outdoor pursuits recently (he took the kids camping last weekend and has his eye on the Appalachian Trail) but I've convinced him to sign on to a harebrained scheme I came up with: We're going to get dropped off in Pittsburgh with bikes & gear, and make our way down the Great Allegheny Passage, across the eastern continental divide, and on to Cumberland, MD. From there we'll pick up the C & O Canal Towpath to Washington, D.C. The girls will meet us in D.C., we'll all spend a couple days there, and drive home. Overall it will be 316 miles by bike, camping the whole way, probably allowing 6-10 days travel time. Right now we're planning on August 2008, which is good, because I need to get in good enough shape to cover at least 30 miles a day on a bicycle and to accumulate the gear I'll need (like, um, a bicycle. Not to mention all that other stuff). I'm pretty excited, as it gives me a goal to work towards for the next year, and it sounds like a cool route with a lot of history along the way. Expect occasional updates regarding training & gear here, as the trip nears I'll probably create a separate blog dedicated to the trip...

Make It Shallow So That I Can Feel The Rain

2007-09-23T18:49:00.001-04:00

The girlfriend and I took a couple of vacation days last week to unwind and visit her hometown, and to visit her mother's grave - she hadn't been there since the funeral, so she hadn't seen the headstone her father picked out. It was beautiful, but we were both surprised when we walked around and looked at the back of it:

Strangest Your Momma Joke Ever...

2007-08-23T05:32:00.001-04:00

...from an actual conversation I had the other day:

"Your momma has qualities that are indicative of precipitation".

Project Files: Ridin' The Porcelain Bus

2007-08-16T23:45:00.001-04:00

Sorry I haven't been around lately, but I took a few days off work. Where did I go on vacation, you ask? Well, put it this way: There was lots of water, high temperatures, and Bermuda Coral. What tropical location was this?

My bathroom.

The water was there already, the high temperatures were due to it being 90+ degrees in the Midwest for the past week, and "Bermuda Coral" is the trade name for the ugly Pepto-Bismol pink ceramic tile that was installed in my bathroom.

See, a few months ago I noticed a brown spot on my kitchen ceiling. I didn't really remember seeing it before, but I didn't know if it was new or if it was one of those "Has that always been there, and I just didn't notice it?" type of things. I kept an eye on it and it didn't seem to be getting any bigger, so I forgot about it. A few weeks ago, after seeing my girlfriend off to work, I noticed it looked a little... different, somehow. I went up to it and poked the ceiling with my finger. Which continued going through the ceiling until it hit a ceiling joist. When I pulled my finger out, it was followed by a few drops of water.

Shit.

I knew the grout in the bathroom was lousy, as the previous owners did a half-assed caulking job over top of the grout. I tried hitting it with the caulking gun again, which helped for about a week, but soon after there was a steady drip-drip-drip out of the hole in the ceiling whenever someone took a shower. I thought about calling one of those one-day bath remodeling places, but after checking around, it would be at least $2K, and that was if they didn't have to replace any drywall, which was a given. Nuthin' left to do but grab the prybar and start tearing shit out...

The lovely "before" shot. Notice the beautiful non-matching patch job on the tile behind the faucets.

After ripping out all the tile and lots of rotten drywall. Luckily there was no mold or nasty surprises behind the wall.

Another shot post-demo. The drywall behind this wall hadn't been taped or mudded at all - they just fitted patch pieces and stuck them together with caulking. There was a loose chunk of 2x4 wedged into the right side of the wall to support the drywall next to the tile behind the sink.

New greenboard hung, taped, first coat of mud. I left the upper section alone since it was still in good shape, and just sanded down the mastic.

Another shot.

The new enclosure was trimmed to fit and put up with construction adhesive. I cut the holes for the fixtures with my holesaw and for the spigot with a paddle bit.

Side view.

All taped off & ready for caulking. This was a pain, but gives waaaay better results (especially since I'm lousy at laying down & smoothing caulk on the fly). Also, I wanted to use silicone caulking over polyurethane, but silicone can get real messy - the tape prevents the mess from getting too out-of-hand. I also bought a $4 caulking tool on a whim, which turned out to be the best investment ever.

I had to tear off the course of bullnose tiles along the edge of the shower...

So I cleaned it up with a piece of 1/2" trim. I caulked the joint afterward and it looks great, but I forgot to take a picture. Notice the swanky surfboard soap dispenser on the sink...

Which ties in with the new surfboard shower curtain. All the surfboard-themed items are available at Wal-Mart, in the aisle that sells stuff for kids' bathrooms.

So that's how I spent the better part of the past week. I bought all the matching surfboard accessories - I'm gonna do a whole Endless Summer-themed bathroom (who says bathrooms have to be all "elegant" (read: boring), anyways?) Luckily my girlfriend is totally on board (har har) with the idea.

I was pretty proud of how this turned out - I've always been pretty handy with minor repair stuff in the past, but this is the first place I've owned, and this is the first "major" job I've done. The rest of the bathroom will be done sometime in the near future (rest of the tile is coming down, new flooring, new sink & vanity, paint, etc.) but that's gonna have to wait until I save up a little more money & catch my breath...

Perhaps They'll Listen Now

2007-08-04T01:55:00.001-04:00

Vintage Motorcycle Days has come and gone, and I didn't win the Vincent Black Shadow. Oh well, I didn't have space for it anyways... sure is pretty, though.

Canned Heat In My Heels Tonight

2007-07-12T20:00:00.001-04:00

Call For Super Chicken

2007-07-11T00:00:00.002-04:00

Met him over the weekend - He was a very friendly guy. For a chicken.

Life Sucks, Wear A Helmet

2007-07-03T20:20:00.001-04:00

The worst thing about about this season if I have a major case of new bike fever - I spend most of the day browsing Cycle Trader, looking for my next bike. Logically, this should be something that will fulfill all my needs (bigger, comfortable, suitable for distance, somewhat sporty) - so far I'm leaning towards the Yamaha FJR1300, Honda ST1300, or a used Super Hawk, Interceptor, or BMW R1150 RT. The problem is I can't (and won't be able to) afford ANY of these bikes for a while, so I start browsing Craigslist for one-sided trades on dirt bikes or salvage sites for ratted-out sportbikes that have been crashed by the squids (both of which would be a bad idea) - anything to get a new-bike fix. Oh well, I guess there's always the lottery...

In other news, I got a new lid today:
It's a Nolan N41 in wine. Kind of a compromise between my full-face, which I've been wearing almost exclusively lately, and my beanie, which I never felt very secure riding in (news flash - cruiser guy picks function over form! Film at eleven!) I'm not crazy about the color (I wanted the silver or flat black) but I got a deal I couldn't refuse on it - something along the lines of 90% off retail. The color is actually much darker in person, so I can live with it (I passed up a similar deal on a N41 in fire-engine red 'cause I knew I'd never wear it). My full-face Bieffe is going on ten years old and has suffered a few drops, including being thrown by a friend at the local kart-racing track during a spirited discussion with an official ("Rubbin' IS racing!") so I figured it was time to step up. I really wanted the N42 with the N-Com headset and bluetooth goodies, but that would've run me in the $600 dollar range by the time all was said and done. If I fall into some disposable income maybe I'll get a custom paint job for it - it kinda reminds me of another helmet from my childhood:
Hell yeah. Ace Goodheart FTW, bitches.

R.I.P. VW Bus

2007-07-03T01:07:00.001-04:00

Some of you might remember that I sold my VW Bus back in January. I was actually kinda happy that it went to a prolific member of a local VW club. Since I still love VW's I kept subscribing to the mailing lists, and saw the following tragic message:
---------------------------------------------------------
"I was cruising down the road on Saturday in my "new"
72 Westy when this stupid teenager in his big old
Thunderbird pulls thru a stop sign and directly into
my path...WHAM!!! The Westy nailed him doing about 45
MPH!! The good news is that me, my wife, and my
stepson were all un-injured, HOWEVER, the bad news is
that the nose of the bus got CRUNCHED!!!! Probably not
fix-able".
---------------------------------------------------------
I know John (the bus' new owner) had put one of his engines in the bus, sorted all the mechanicals, and was happily driving it - so at least she went out in action, instead of rotting in a yard. And if I know John, he'll have the sense to part out anything he might be able to use again, so parts of her will live on... I actually came across a wooden pullback shifter knob and VW suicide steering-wheel knob in a box of parts the other day, maybe I'll mount 'em on the Impala as a tribute...

Whatever It Takes To Make It Hardcore

2007-06-26T03:13:00.001-04:00

Stupid, but fun... via S.F.V.I.S.B.F.

Fresh Ink

2007-06-22T01:07:00.002-04:00

On The Road Again

2007-06-15T02:46:00.002-04:00

...as I mentioned in my (bitchy) last post, I completed the MSF Course the other weekend. I enjoyed this one much more than the last time I took it (7 or 8 years ago, I think?) Smaller class, better instructors, cooler classmates. This was a pilot course being offered for the first time this year - instead of a two-day class, it's one day only for people who have extensive experience on a permit (1K+ miles) or "... experienced riders who are returning to riding with or without their endorsement after several years of non-riding". This worked great for me, because, well... I never technically had my endorsement. (Now you know my horrible secret!) I would just go get a new set of temps every year, then never get around to taking the test. (This is more common than it sounds - my brother-in-law has been doing it for 5 or 6 years, and his father did it for 25+ years(!)). Anyways, now I'm completely legal and don't have to be paranoid about getting pulled over at night (daytime only, no passengers on temps in my state). I took the test in the middle of a thunderstorm on a ragged-out 250 Nighthawk and it was easy as pie - much easier than the last time I tried it on my bike, a cruiser with 36" beach bars and cut-down seat.

I finally got around to getting the bike out of drydock and took it for a ride... I did a quick safety check before riding - checked the brakes, signals, etc., felt the tires and they didn't seem low. Went out for a while and thought "Hmmm, steering feels a little sloppy". Came home and checked the tire pressure with a fancy professional-style tire gauge I picked up at a too-good-to-be-true price over the winter - turns out it really was too-good-to-be-true, 'cause the damn thing's broken. Dug up one of the cheapie pen-style gauges out of tool box and tested it - 5lbs. That can't be right. Found another one and tried it - 5lbs. Oops. Should be 33lbs. Got lucky on that ride. Went to do an oil change, discovered I need a lift or a stubby wrench to get at the drain plug. *Sigh* One of those days, I guess. Spent a few hours cleaning her up, taking a trip to pick up some tools tomorrow...

How To Spend $1300 Without Really Trying

2007-06-06T00:51:00.001-04:00

My weekend:

The girlfriend calls me Friday morning and says, "I need to talk to you when you get home". Of course, my first thought was "Oh sh*t, she's pregnant". I jump in the car and race home, and she says, "I think something's wrong with the TV". I turn it on, and the screen is just green wavy lines. I get down on the floor and start taking the grille off the front to inspect it, and it's wet. Her dog (which, I was assured when she moved in, was impeccably housebroken) took a leak on my 52" HDTV. Directly into the gun array (it was a rear-projection TV). For the second time in a month. She's hysterical and crying, thinking I'm going to take the dog to the pound. I calm her down and send her to work and go to bed. That night, we go out and she buys me a new 37" LCD TV - or rather, we try to, but the store declines her credit card (we called & checked the balance before we left). So, she has to stand there at the cash register and call the credit card company - of course, it takes her half an hour to get a real person on the phone, and they tell her that since she never makes large purchases on her card, it was flagged as a "potential fraudulent purchase". Okay, whatever. Card gets re-swiped and goes through, we take the TV home, haul it inside, and go to bed.

The next morning I woke up early and left to take the Motorcycle Safety Foundation advanced rider course. Of course the last two hours of that are in the pouring rain, so I get soaked to the bone (it was still fun, though - much better instructors than the last time I took it). On the way home I stop to get gas. As I'm getting out of my car, my cell phone slips out of my hand and lands square in the tub of windshield-washer fluid mounted to the trash can next to the pump. My immediate thought was "You gotta be f@¢king kidding me". I fish out my phone and it's shot. Go to the cell-phone place and of course they won't give me a deal since I'm in the middle of a contract, chalk up $300 for a new phone.

The next day I go to move the old TV out of the house, and as I'm pushing it into the kitchen from the dining room, I rub up against the kitchen door slightly - which rips the door off the hinges. I take the door off and look at it, seems the previous owner must have done this before, and repaired the edge of the door with cut-down paint stirrers and wood glue, then painted over it so you couldn't tell. I throw the door in the dumpster and get ready to throw the TV in, of course as I was doing that I smashed my thumb between the TV and the edge of the steel dumpster.

After that I went to meet an old friend from out of town for lunch - I told him my story, and he said, "Well, I was gonna show you my new car, but you're not allowed anywhere near it". Oh well, nowhere to go but up from here I guess...

Little Mac says 'Help me, Doc!!'

2007-05-22T23:45:00.001-04:00

via xkcd.com

...so I finally broke down and ordered a Wii - I swore I wasn't going to be blackmailed into paying for a "bundle" where I had to buy six games with the console, but then the Dell store (where I have a credit card) got a bundle in stock that had almost all the games I wanted, so... there ya go. I am forcing myself to not open some of the games (Madden '07, Zelda) until the quarter is over in a couple of weeks, for I fully expect to lose a month of my life to those games.

One thing I can heartily recommend, even if your not a fan of video games: Wii Sports boxing. If you have any tension in your relationship at all, there's few things as therapeutic as KO'ing a cutesy 3D rendering of your significant other. It's like an episode of Cops without the trailer park or domestic violence charges. The only thing that's more fun is watching two people play Wii boxing, as they look like two people having epiletic fits with game controllers in their hands.

As I said, the quarter is over in a couple of weeks - from here 'till there I have three tests, one lab, one paper, one HUGE project, and a job interview (for a promotion at my current employer). I have the MSF course coming up in a couple of weeks, I might try to sneak my digital camera in there and document it for you all, and since the Wii plays GameCube games, I have an interesting project planned for my old GameCube that I hope to write up here. Stay tuned...

Picture Book, Picture Book

2007-05-02T01:18:00.001-04:00

After getting my tax return, paying off bills, and putting a chunk in the bank I actually had a little bit of money left over - I have been thinking about getting a digital SLR for a while now, so I sprung for the Pentax K100D. This lets me use all my old glass - I have been tempted to make the move to Canon for while so I can get an EOS-1Ds & a XL2 and share lenses, but I don't have a spare eight thousand dollars right now, so this'll have to do. Last weekend I took the girlfriend on a date to the conservatory and put the new camera through the paces - here are the shots I liked best...

Take A Long Ride On My Motorbike

2007-04-28T03:25:00.001-04:00

Hmmmm, seems like the only post I make anymore is the "sorry I haven't posted in so long" one. School is again kicking my butt, although in a good way (I am working on a very involved project that, for once, might actually translate into the real world - as well as give me a project I can put in my portfolio). Hopefully summer will be less hectic - I plan on only taking one (online only) class.

In moto-related news, I got lucky and snagged a spot for a Motorcycle Safety Foundation course in about a month. I must have caught a cancellation - I checked the web page on Sunday and all classes were booked until the end of September, I checked again the next day and there was exactly one spot open for a class at the beginning of June, so I jumped on it. This is actually a new class that they just started this year - it's an abbreviated one-day version of the basic class, for people who have been riding on a permit for multiple years or have been riding on-and-off for several years (sadly, that describes me to a "T"). I took the class about 9 years ago, it'll be good to get a refresher. Maybe I'll sign up for the advanced class next summer...

RIP 1922 - 2007

2007-04-12T01:12:00.001-04:00

"Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything."

When She's Ten Feet Tall

2007-04-10T01:05:00.001-04:00

Hey all, not too much new here. We did Easter at my place this year, my first honest-to-goodness hosting of a holiday meal since becoming a grown up (allegedly). It went really well, except we forgot that if you let a sixty-pound dog eat an entire hambone (which he can do in about five minutes flat) , he will wake you up by yakking on your bedroom floor at 4:30AM.

The GF's dad had peeling forearms due to having the Goldwing out all last week during the nice weather, and her brother even managed to get the ancient CD350 he bought off eBay last year out for a day. Needless to say, I felt like a slacker - I still need to make a trip to the BMV before I can get my bike on the road. I did show it to them and we resolved to get together for a ride sometime this summer, maybe head up the road to the Motorcycle Hall of Fame Museum. I'll be sure to take lots of pics...

Ch-ch-ch-changes

2007-03-16T01:00:00.001-04:00

Hey all, lots of real-world stuff happening lately... I finally finished the classes that were kicking my but this quarter, and the girlfriend is moving in this weekend. On top of that there's been dealing with all the paperwork for the new car, tons of work stuff, playing referee between her pets and mine (don't ask), and some really nasty weather on top of it all. Some storms rolled through last night and actually blew out some of the support poles in my motorcycle shelter, so I had to take it halfway apart and get it set up again, but it definitely fired up my urge to go for a ride - hopefully I'll be able to post some reports soon...

-D_G

The New Whip

2007-02-27T02:44:00.001-05:00

Hey all, sorry for my extended absence, but school has been kicking my butt this quarter. I'm struggling to maintain a low-"B"-to-high-"C" in my first programming class, and my other class is in the early afternoon, right in between two days that I work third shift - meaning I leave work, go home and sleep for three hours, get up, go to class for three hours, go to the computer labs, go home and sleep for a couple more hours, get up and go to work. None of this would be particularly fun even if I wasn't nursing a pretty severe sleep disorder in the first place. Thankfully, it'll be over in a few more weeks, and next quarter will hopefully go a little smoother.

The other thing that has been taking up a lot of my time lately has been car shopping. As much as I love the CRX, it was starting to show it's age of seventeen years, despite all the spit 'n polish. It was also less-than-ideal for road trips given it's small size, what with both mine & the girlfriend's families living an hour away. And she didn't find the spartan accommodations (power nothing, 5-speed, no A/C) nearly as charming as I did.

I drove an F-150 (I'm not a Ford guy, nor a truck guy - I've owned them in the past, but really don't have a need for one, plus the cost of gas woulda killed me), a couple Jettas (too small) a couple Passats (too expensive) and decided to look at a 2005 Impala at a dealer near me - I snuck away from studying for a few hours on Sunday and drove to the dealership, only to find I drove to the wrong one - they actually had two locations for used cars. The salesman told me he had a 2006 Impala, but no 2005's. This was discouraging to me, as 2005 was the last year of the cool round taillights ("Why would they do away with an Impala trademark?!?") I wondered. The salesman encouraged me to take a look at the '06 anyway and pulled it around: It was white. Probably my least favorite color for any car. I told it was out of my price range anyway, but he encouraged me to drive it, and to my surprise, I really really liked it. I even decided the white looked pretty good on it, especially if you tinted the windows. Even the new taillights were starting to grow on me a little bit. I had already received financing from my credit union and knew where I wanted my payment to be, so this car wasn't even a possibility. The dealership convinced me to let them run my info through their system, and they got me a rate two points lower than my credit union (which I just assumed would be my best option). Boom, $2k more car for the same payment. I yanked my stereo equipment out of the Honda and drove it home. (I originally wasn't going to trade the CRX - I knew I could easily get $2K for it, but only after I dropped $500 in it for new shocks & brakes, plus a whole weekend's work of detailing... I decided for a few hundred bucks difference, I would rather just be done with it. Of course, now my friends are coming out of the woodwork and berating me for not giving them first refusal rights). I give you the new whip:

(That's a stock photo of course - mine's already too dirty to be suitable for photography)

It's quite different to drive - remember, I've only owned one other car built in this decade, and that was a Jeep Wrangler with zero options. It has all kinds of power stuff and digital geegaws and doodads and blue LED's everywhere and a jack to plug my iPod into the radio. When the temperature dropped below 32 degrees tonight, it actually warned me that there could be ice on the road. Between that and the remote starter, I feel like Michael Knight. I'll probably get the windows tinted as dark as I can get away this summer, and might look into finding an SS spoiler for the trunk, but that's about it.

The other big difference was when I filled it up - $35.00!!! If the CRX was on fumes I might squeeze $15 into it. And that would last me a week (46 mile round-trip commute to work 5 days a week, plus 30-odd miles to school and back 3-4 nights a week). That's gonna take some getting used to...

I Remember As If It Were A Meal Ago

2007-02-01T00:39:00.001-05:00

Leaving Just A Memory

2007-01-31T00:34:00.001-05:00

Something I noticed today: Every semester, for the past year and a half, I completely forget how to write batch files. I'm not retarded, I can write large chunks of code in various languages from memory, but for some damn reason I can never remember how to do a simple logon script.

On the other hand, I can listen to the metal station on satellite radio, hear a song I haven't so much as thought about since ninth grade (today it was Exodus' Toxic Waltz, last week it was Megadeth's In My Darkest Hour) and I remember every goddamn word. If I can ever cross-link the IT section of my brain to the hesher section of my brain, I'll be golden...

I Felt Like This On My Way Home

2007-01-02T00:23:00.001-05:00

Well, the Bus has new home. The buyer came down one New Year's Day to look at it and wrote me a check, he will be back to pick it up next weekend. I'm sad to see it go, but I need to focus on more important things right now. The buyer is actually one of the founding members of a local VW Bus club, so I'm happy it's going to go to someone who loves VW's and will get some use out if it. Someday I'll be able to afford a new RV (the girlfriend is actually totally on board with this as a long-range goal) and a couple small bikes or scooters to tour the country with, but first I gotta buy a place to park it...

The Sunday Swap Meet Is A Battle Ground

2006-12-28T23:28:00.001-05:00

For as long as I can remember, I've always been really good at "the swap". Ever since elementary school when I got Eric Frantz to give up a Sims skateboard (Jeff Phillips model), a skate key, an AM/FM walkman and a tabletop Frogger video game in exchange for a cheapie toy-store paintball gun, I usually come out with the better end of the deal whenever a trade is involved. My girlfriend recently mentioned my VW Bus to her father, and he told her that he had an old friend who was a VW nut that might be interested in buying it. I've been halfheartedly considering it for a while, since I haven't been able to find the time or space to work on it - diehard VW aficionados would rather see the vehicles go to use rather than rot in a yard. Seeing anyone put a VW to use is better than seeing it go to the crusher. (Except for dune buggy freaks, who only want to steal transmissions from buses. Screw those guys).

I wrote up a brief description of the Bus and sent it with some pictures to her Dad to forward to his friend. Since I already had the description and pictures ready to go, I decided to post an ad on The Samba. I included the words that always make the classifieds game much more entertaining - "Will consider trades". So far I have been offered:

-A set of 20" rims & tires (those would look great on my Honda)
-A 75 gallon fishtank (no, but I'm sure the cats would love it)
-A M1911 Colt .45 pistol (hmmm... neat, but I don't really need more guns)
-A 1978 MG Midget rally car (which I wouldn't even fit in)
-A custom-built guitar w/ Gibson body & Fender Jaguar neck (huh?)
-A 1985 Honda CR125 (too small)
-A 1960 VW Bus (cool, but an even bigger project than I have now)
-A Mexican Fender Jazz bass (might knock a couple hundred off for this)
...and a Bultaco Metralla 250 (very cool, but the last thing I need is another bike. Especially a dirt bike. Especially a dirt bike that hasn't been made for 20+ years from a long-defunct company).

Several people have looked so far, with the ever popular "I gotta ask my wife" and "I'll have the money next week" already making appearances. Several more are scheduled for the weekend, I'll let you know how it goes...

Father Christmas, Give Us Some Money

2006-12-26T00:36:00.001-05:00

Have yourself a merry merry Christmas
Have yourself a good time
But remember the kids who got nothin'
While you're drinkin' down your wine

-D_G

You Can't Tuna Fish

2006-12-21T23:54:00.001-05:00

I drove 3 hours round trip today, and have at least that much per day over the next four days in order to visit everyone on the Xmas list this year. On top of that, I (stupidly) decided to pick up the girlfriend's Xmas gift myself:

Trust me, whatever the piano movers quote you, it's worth it.

Smell The Glove

2006-12-13T02:50:00.001-05:00

A few weeks ago, I went to a charity auction put on by my girlfriend's employer. I actually won lots 'o stuff, but the one I was really gunning for was a new pair of Rocky Boots. I did win them, but they were four sizes too small - no matter, they came with a certificate stating they could be exchanged, and their factory outlet store was on the way home, so we swung by.

The store turned out to be incredibly cool - a huge, three story warehouse filled with all manner of outdoor clothing, camping gear, tools, etc. I actually drove by the store every few months while I was in college - I always meant to stop, but never did. Probably for the best, since I was perpetually broke back then (as opposed to "occasionally not broke" now). One of the items I picked up while I was there was a pair of fingerless gloves - I learned the value of these while I was working in an ice house in high school & college. I spent all day in a giant freezer with augers, conveyor belts, trap doors and automatic cutting machines. 80% of the time you want your hand to be completely covered to stay as warm as possible, but if you had to twiddle with the machinery, you would lose a finger if you try to do it while wearing winter gloves (I saw several people mangled in my tenure). I solved this problem by going across the street to the surplus store and buying cheap USAF glove liners, cutting the fingers off, and putting a pair of heavy canvas gardening gloves over them. The heavy canvas gloves held up better & dried out faster than winter gloves, and with a snap of your wrists your could shuck them off (think of a hockey player in a melee) and quickly manipulate whatever piece of equipment that was about to give out and back up the whole line. The fingerless gloves would then keep you warm enough until you got a second to retrieve your other gloves.

The thing that made the ones I bought different was that they had a flip-down mitten, that was secured by velcro when not being used:

I thought this was pretty slick - I am still likely to need to twiddle with something, although nowadays it is usually my camera, MP3 player, or cell phone. Anyways, last week I headed out to class to take the last of my finals, and I got to try my new gloves out for the first time, as the temperature was rapidly approaching single digits. After class I decided to walk over to the campus bookstore to sell my textbooks, and get some extra cash to finish my Xmas shopping. Apparently the college was letting a local youth organization use the gymnasium that evening for some sort of awards ceremony, and I encountered lots of cold, confused people asking me for directions. That's when I learned an important lesson:

Nothing looks dumber than a guy trying to point while wearing mittens.

Thinking 'bout The People Upside-Down In Japan

2006-12-02T02:35:00.001-05:00

I subscribe to lots of mailing lists - Volkswagen lists, guitar lists, computers lists, etc. Problem is I really don't have much time to read the (sometimes hundreds of) emails that come through every day, so I usually just get them in a daily digest form and give them a cursory glance to see if there's anything useful to me in that particular one. I glanced through one of the Volkswagen lists the other day and was surprised to see a reference to "Bob Hoover's blog". Bob Hoover is as close to a guru as you can get in the Volkswagen community. He made a great number of posts to the Volkswagen lists & groups in the burgeoning days of the Internet that were full of practical advice, useful tips & tricks, and were a great read to boot. These became known as "The Sermons of Bob Hoover" and were greatly prized by many Volkswagen enthusiasts and were collected on web sites, hard drives, passed around on bulletin boards and newsgroups - at one point, an aftermarket supply house was even selling a CD-ROM with all them in text file format. The Internet being what it is, for every 100 people who enjoyed and were helped by these essays, there would be one wiseacre who had to chime in and tell Bob that he was wrong, or that wasn't how Dieter (the $100-per-hour mechanic at the local Haus of Imports) did it. One thing made abundantly clear in Mr. Hoover's writing is that he doesn't suffer fools gladly in real life, so you can be damn sure he wasn't going to put with the electronic version of a jackass - he quietly asked people to take down his postings from web sites, stop selling the CD-ROMS, and greatly reduced his on-line presence in general. It is my understanding that he was perfectly willing to help you if you asked, but he was (understandably) miffed at people slinging unsolicited criticism at him for what was clearly a labor of love. The sermons still popped up occasionally on a bulletin board or a hastily-authored web page, but they never lasted very long. I was glad to see that Mr. Hoover has created his own blog and has posted the original sermons, which range from eminently practical to entertaining to philosophical. Check 'em out.

One Arm Wing Steve...

2006-11-25T02:53:00.001-05:00

...was delicious!

Steve In The Bread Pan, Pickin' Out Dough...

2006-11-22T00:44:00.001-05:00

Through a chain of events far too convoluted to recount here, I went from having Thanksgiving dinner at my Mom's house, to having it at my girlfriend's house with her family, to having it at my house with just me & her (which is just fine by me). We did the shopping for the dinner on Sunday and while we were putting the groceries away, she told me that we had to name the turkey. "What?" I asked. "You have to name the turkey before you cook it," she said. "Isn't that a bit macabre?" I asked. She assured me that it wasn't - it was a long-standing tradition in her family, and I better shut up and stop teasing her if I knew what was good for me (she might have implied that last part). "Fine", I told her, "I christen this turkey "Steve"". She told me that wasn't a proper name for a turkey, and I informed her that it was my turkey, I bought it, and since naming a dead bird carcass was approaching the high side of crazy anyways, it's name was Steve. "Fine", she sighed. She emailed me today and reminded me to take Steve out of the freezer, so I put him in the fridge to thaw before I went to class. I told one of my co-workers that I had Steve chillin' in the fridge (pun intended) so we would be ready to put him in the oven on Thursday. I guess since at least three of my co-workers are named Steve, the odd looks I received are understandable. Ah well, my brain is fried from building four custom databases and three Novell servers in a week, so I'm looking forward to eating Steve with all the trimmings. Have a good Thanksgiving, everybody...

Aint' No Smoggy Smoke On Rocky Top

2006-11-11T00:08:00.001-05:00

Got my 35mm pics from vacation developed, and I had a few that I was pretty pleased with - I finally got to experiment with the 16mm lens I bought a while back, now I just have to learn to keep my damn hands out of the frame. It's interesting that even though digital cameras can rival the quality of film nowadays, the pictures I shoot with my 35mm camera have a distinctly different "feel" to them - I think it's because with my digital camera & a 1GB memory card I can store well over a thousand pictures, so I shoot pretty indiscriminately - this results in pictures that have much more of a "snapshot" quality (which isn't necessarily a bad thing). I think that this actually makes me a better shooter when I do use film, as I am much more deliberate with lens choice, composition, etc., when I finally do drag out the 35mm rig. I am seriously considering a digital SLR in the not-too-distant future, since they are rapidly approaching the "not-entirely-ridiculous" price range, and I won't have to get rid of all my glass. I wonder how it will affect my photography...

Breathe, Breathe In The Air

2006-11-05T22:59:00.001-05:00

Hey everybody, back from vacation. Sure is pretty in the mountains this time of year. I was going to do a write up on the vacation with pics & such, but the girlfriend beat me to it - head over to her site if you want to read it (Caution: do not proceed if you harbor any delusions about my secret identity). I still have to get my 35mm film developed, and there's a photography contest that's run by the local entertainment newspaper coming up that I like to enter every year - I took some shots of waterfalls with my fish-eye lens that I think might be very, very cool if they came out. I will post some here as soon as I get them developed.

I spent several hundred dollars more than I intended to on vacation and there was an unexpected $700 bill waiting in my mailbox when I returned home (attorney fees from a matter that I thought was long resolved) so that's just great - looks like I'm going to have to suck up as much overtime as possible at work for a couple of months.

Shortly before I left, my doctor diagnosed me with sleep apnea - which makes sense, considering I haven't gotten a good night's sleep in about seventeen years. The cure involves learning to sleep with a mask attached to my face that is connected to a CPAP machine. This is a lot harder than it sounds - so far, the routine has been 1.) Get ready for bed, 2.) put on mask, 3.) lie awake for three hours, 4.) yank off mask in frustration and fall asleep, and 5.) wake up feeling like crap. Luckily there is a pretty active online community of people dealing with this, and apparently it's a pretty rough thing to get used to, so I don't feel too bad. My biggest worry was that it would freak out my girlfriend, but she's been really supportive about the whole thing (I think she prefers the mask to my snoring).

I need to winterize the bike and put it on the battery tender, don't want to have to drop another $100 on a battery again next year. Lots of people getting in the last rides of the year around here lately, hopefully this month will stay mild enough that I can do the same...

Lazin' On A Sunny Afternoon...

2006-10-27T01:18:00.001-04:00

Off for a vacation, everyone. Lots to catch you up on when I return, see you in a week.

Born To Be Wild?

2006-10-10T08:06:00.001-04:00

Okay, this is just taking it too goddamn far.

On Streets We Call The Zoo

2006-10-02T01:59:00.001-04:00

No moto-related news as of now... me & Meine Freundin had a lovely weekend - we've been spending a lot of time together, but we're usually both so stressed from work thatwe wind up locking ourselves in the house for the weekend. While I have no complaints about that, I decided a proper date was in order - so we spent the day at the zoo, followed by a great lunch. I took plenty of pics, here are some of my favorites...

Put The Lime In The Coconut

2006-09-20T02:28:00.001-04:00

My former roommate went on a cruise last week, and we had the following conversation before he left:

Him: "You want anything from the Bahamas?"
Me: "Coconut monkey."

When I got to work tonight, this was sitting on my desk:

That fucking rules.

Fear Is The Heart Of Love

2006-09-19T04:40:00.001-04:00

I apologize for my extended absence, but there was another death in the family - my Dad's sister passed away last week. She had been treated for cancer several years ago, and when I went to Pittsburgh for my grandmother's funeral back in January she told me that the cancer had returned and was attacking her liver. She told me she was going back into treatment, but I had a feeling it was bad. To be honest, I was always a little scared of her - she was the Aunt that had the huge house like a museum where I wasn't allowed to touch anything, I was only allowed to play in my Uncle's den, where I wasn't allowed to be a kid. After Grandma's funeral, we all went out to lunch and I probably had my first real, adult conversation with her. Nothing special, just small talk, but I got the feeling that she was seeing me as a grown man for the first time. As we walked back to our cars she held my hand and kissed me goodbye. We followed them through town across the bridge, then turned off to the turnpike. She was the last one alive in my Dad's family, and it was the last time I would ever see her.

So Much Material, But Not Materialistic

2006-08-30T06:17:00.001-04:00

...so I was playing around on the Dell website the other day, and I wound up configuring a laptop that was pretty beefy (for my needs, anyway) at a pretty good price, although I wasn't seriously planning on buying it - my employer offers interest-free loans for employees to purchase computers, so that's the route I usually take. Unfortunately, this program is currently being revamped, and anyways, Dell isn't one of the preferred vendors. I saw the "apply for Dell Preferred Credit" and decided to give it a shot just for laughs - my credit kinda went through the wringer following an extended layoff after the events of 9/11, and I thought "There's no way these clowns will approve me". Well, the guy working the credit desk in Bangalore must've been asleep on the job, because they approved me for a $3K credit line (more than they approved my girlfriend for last year, which pissed her off). So, I guess I have a new laptop on the way (although I'm dreading returning to Windows on my primary machine after the shiny happy experience that is OS X).

The only combustion-related news is that I might be getting a new truck - my stepdad has a friend who is recently divorced, and the ex-wife & kid relocated a few hours away. Since he is driving 300+ miles a couple of times a month, he wants to unload his truck for a Prius since the cost of gas is killing him. He gave my stepdad a stupid cheap price for his truck, and in return my stepdad said he would sell me his truck for below wholesale if I want it, since it's been so reliable and he'd like to see someone he knows end up with it. Now, he's the kind of guy who is major-league obsessive about his vehicles - he used to be a partner in one of the premiere hot rod/custom shops in the state back in the day. He's done every bit of maintenance on the truck himself, and has been running Mobil 1 synthetic since the day he brought it home. The truck has a lot of miles, but I'm completely confident it will last another ten years without a hiccup if treated right. It's not 4-wheel drive, which I would really like (since I am considered an "essential employee", I have to report to work even during Level 1 snow emergencies). I'm still on the fence - by the time I get a loan, full-coverage insurance (liability only right now - ~$175/yr. for two cars), and factor in the extra cost for gas, it might not be worth my while - but it sure would be nice to have a vehicle less than 10 years old with some bells & whistles for once (I haven't had a car that had working A/C for fifteen years). Ah well, it'll be up to the folks at the credit union anyway, I'll let you know...

I'm taking a couple days off before the weekend - me & the girlfriend are making a mini-vacation out of it (which will probably consist of locking ourselves in the house, turning off all phones & pagers, & watching DVD's and hanging out for a few days). Seeya next week...

How Can You Have Any Pudding If You Don't Eat Your Meat

2006-08-17T02:36:00.001-04:00

Although I have peers who have far greater dedication to pizza than I do, I was seriously craving a homemade pizza for the past week. When I went to the grocery store the other day I picked up some crusts, sauce, all the toppings, etc. The next day I got everything out and whipped up a masterpiece of a pizza, turned on the oven, and threw it in. 20 minutes later I came back and opened the oven door to see my creation... still uncooked?!? Hmmmm. The oven was on. I tried one of the burners - nothing. I called the gas company to see if I forgot to pay the bill, and she said the 'tards working on putting in new water mains across the street cut the line. So I had to come home from work in the morning and stay up waiting for the gas company to come out, turn the gas back on at the curb, and re-light all my appliances. On top of that, today was the first day of school in my neighborhood - meaning lots of kiddies (& parents) probably didn't have any hot water for their showers. Bet that went over big. They've also broken the water main twice, and have had the road in front of my house torn up for months with no end in sight. No real point here, I'm just frustrated and felt like bitching...

One-Armed Paper Hanger

2006-08-12T03:37:00.001-04:00

Hey all, been super busy with meatworld stuff lately - work has been a mess, and one of the disadvantages of being a semi-talented amateur videographer/photographer is that every time there's a wedding/anniversary party/dance recital in the family, you're automatically enlisted to shoot & edit it, along with providing prints & DVD's with interactive menus and full-color box art. The other disadvantage is that while you're good enough to entrust with these precious memories, you're apparently not good enough to get paid for it. Ah well, at least it's something I genuinely enjoy doing for people - otherwise I'd just be getting calls to help people move...

I had nothing motorcycle-related to mention, until this morning: I went out to check out some video games (I bought a PSP, which is also putting a major dent in my productivity) and on the way to the store, I saw four bikes coming up in my rearview mirror. This usually worries me, being that Ohio is home to all sorts of squidly dumbasses who ride in packs. These bikes didn't seem to be moving too fast, though. As they passed me I glanced over - there were four of them, and the three in the lead were in tight formation all on brand new Yamaha FJR's (*drool*) with Givi cases. They were all wearing Aerostitch suits and matching helmets. It was badass, like a team of sport-touring ninjas or something. (For a minute I thought maybe Alton Brown and his cronies were making their way through town). I noticed that the third rider was a woman, and she had something on her helmet:

I thought it was awesome. I bet they guy bringing up the rear on the canary-yellow Vulcan was sick of looking at them, though.

Like A Band Of Gypsies We Go Down The Highway

2006-07-25T00:41:00.001-04:00

Well, I finally got the new battery in the bike and went riding for about an hour this evening - the bike still needs an oil change, new plugs probably wouldn't be a bad idea, and about a full day's worth of detailing (damn my chrome addiction!) but I forgot how therapeutic a ride can be. I've been mobbed at work and am knee-deep in my first serious romantic relationship in quite some time, all of which has kept my mind racing 24/7 lately. Riding is a great release precisely because I can't think about those things when I'm on the bike - I'm too busy watching the soccer mom in the minivan closing fast with her left blinker on.

The ride today also reaffirmed that I'm a dyed-in-the-wool cruiser guy, something I've almost felt apologetic for in the past. Due to my friends & contemporaries' obsession with track days and the latest in literbike technology, I sometimes feel like the dinosaur lumbering around in a herd of fleet-footed mammals that appeared out of nowhere. I remembered a column William Gibson wrote about his obsession with collecting mechanical watches where he said, "They're pointless yet needful, comforting precisely because they require tending." To me, V-Twins are the same way - even the elaborately engineered Japanese ones are remarkably uncivilized. They're loud, inefficient, and archaic. You have to constantly listen to the feedback the bike is giving you and interpret what it means. I can tell you exactly what's going on with my engine by listening to it at speed, loading the engine on a downhill, or snapping the throttle shut in second. I can tell you when maintenance is due by ear while other guys need to break out exhaust-gas analyzers and feeler gauges. Your bike might do 10's in the quarter mile, but mine talks to me. This is everything motorcycling should be to me. Watch The Wild One and keep your eye on Lee Marvin, maybe you'll understand.

Remember that we're all on the road together - it's not what you ride, it's how you ride it.

Like Salsa Picante De Nana Funkenstein

2006-07-21T21:26:00.001-04:00

Man, it's been hot here. Too damn hot. I had two co-workers that had their cars go down due to radiator/cooling troubles. I installed a new thermostat & return filters at the compound and had the A/C turned off at the breaker for an hour, and when I turned it back on it took almost 5 hours to get the house cooled back down. So hot I wish this would have worked.

The good news is I was able to find a battery in stock at a local dealership, and it was even cheaper than expected and an OEM part (no modifications necessary). The bad news is due to the heat & other projects, I wasn't able to get it in yet. Meine Freundin is coming over to spend the weekend with me and promised to make me baked chicken for dinner tommorrow, so don't expect to hear from me until the first of the week...

Smashing Through The Boundaries, Lunacy Has Found Me

2006-07-13T02:12:00.001-04:00

Bleargh - I went to three different places to pick up a battery for the bike, and nobody had one in stock. The guys at my closest dealership were nice enough to order some for backstock so I didn't have to pre-pay, but when it comes in it gonna cost me a hundred and twenty dollars. My bike is a lot nicer than the claptrap UJM's I had for years, but at least for those I could go to Pep Boys and buy a battery for $25 (of course, I had to buy one practically every year...) The YUASA chart that I looked up the battery on had a footnote that said *hold-down must be modified* - in a perfect world that would mean I have to slightly adjust the rubber strap that holds the battery down, but in my world it usually involves a dremel and working perilously close to the wiring harness & my custom paint job.

Work has been a drag this week - in addition to my regular shift I had to go in for training for the new computer systems that will be going in next month. Ah well, I have a long weekend planned with meine Freundin that I am looking forward to. The plan is to get the bike all tuned up first thing next week, check back for pics (and maybe my first video post?) We'll see...

Beans Don't Burn On The Grill

2006-06-28T01:26:00.001-04:00

Sheesh, nobody told me that a roommate moving out would be almost as much work as moving myself - when you have two people living together who both have waaay too much stuff, and one leaves, reordering the stuff that's left to fill the suddenly available space (and cleaning said space) is a lot of work. On top of that, I've been dating someone new (and having a great time, I might add). I've noticed a marked slowdown in the blogging of my contemporaries as well as myself (hopefully due to summertime fun) so I don't feel so bad.

The only moto-related content to mention is that I saw a kickass Goldwing for sale by my house - with a matching sidecar. Sweet! It's completely not my style and undoubtedly way out of my price range, but I think I'll stop and take a look anyway. If I remember, I'll grab some pics...

Alligator Lizards In The Air

2006-06-21T01:06:00.001-04:00

I sitting at a stoplight on the drive home from work the other day when a bright red motorcycle going through the intersection caught my eye - it was a Honda Pacific Coast, a bike I've always had a soft spot for. As much as I dig the vibe of V-twin cruisers and the unapologetic impracticality of built-for-speed literbikes, there's something cool about a bike that is built to be completely utilitarian above everything else. The Pacific Coast was a bike for guys who thought the ST1100 was too flashy - a bike that was as reliable as a stone axe, able to commute to work and back and stop for a couple of bags of groceries on the way home. It was, well, the Honda Civic of motorcycles. Most of the guys you see riding them in the Midwest are the truly hardcore - the guys who don't even own a car, just an electric vest and a one-piece textile suit. Plus, they're so freakin' ugly that they're kinda cool - like a prop from a bad sci-fi movie. They look like they should be sitting in the parking lot next to a 6000 SUX.

One bit of good news on the personal front- I found out that both the father & the brother of the lovely young lady that I've been seeing are avid riders, so I'm unlikely to get any friction about that. You know, one less thing...

Does He Bleed Black & Gold?

2006-06-14T01:19:00.001-04:00

As a devout Steelers fan and motorcyclist, this made me cringe:

PITTSBURGH, June 13 — The condition of quarterback Ben Roethlisberger of the Steelers, injured in a motorcycle accident Monday while not wearing a helmet, was upgraded today from serious to fair condition, and doctors at Mercy Hospital said he could be released later this week... Doctors confirmed his injuries: fractures to his upper and lower jaws; a mild concussion; a fractured nose; fractured facial bones; multiple head lacerations; multiple abrasions; two lost teeth; and several chipped teeth.

I'm a big Roethlisberger fan not only because he's the Steeler's quarterback, but also an Ohio native and a fellow MAC alum, so my first reaction was concern. My second reaction was: what a dumbass. You go 13-0 your rookie year, pocket $12 million dollars in bonuses, win the superbowl your second season, and you go out and ride the fastest sportbike made WITHOUT A HELMET!?!?! I'd wear a helmet in the shower everyday if my health was worth $12 million dollars. Sheesh.

On the personal front, I didn't get a chance to get a battery for the bike since my roommate has started moving out this week and I've been helping him with that. On the bright side of things, I had a date last weekend that went great - we're getting together again this weekend to see Gone With The Wind. (If you're lucky enough to have any historic theaters in your area, lots of them have summer movie festivals. Check 'em out and see what's playing this summer).

Grrrrr...

2006-06-06T02:00:00.001-04:00

...I finally got a chance to do the spring service on the bike today. When I went to warm it up before changing the oil, the battery is totally flat (even though I had it on a float charger for most of the winter). Ah well, I got longer than expected out of it anyway - 5 years, I think (my Honda CB650 demanded a new battery every season, but that might have been due to intermittent electrical gremlins/buying cheap batteries). No riding for me until I get to the shop to pick one up...

Come On You Stranger, You Legend, You Martyr

2006-06-03T05:21:00.001-04:00

Wow, I didn't realize it had been so long since I've posted. I have no excuse, other than it was pretty nice out last week and I'm tethered to a computer for 8+ hours a day already.

Spring in Ohio lasted it's traditional 72 hours before the 92-degree heat set in, and now we're getting pummeled by thunderstorms, but I did manage to get a nice barbecue in with some friends for Memorial Day. One cool thing that happened: That weekend, all the dandelions in the state dropped their blooms at the same time. I mean, they were everywhere. You couldn't walk outside without being in a cloud of them. Even driving down the freeway at 70+ MPH, they were floating into the car by the dozens. (I was actually thankful that I let my doctor talk me into taking some allergy medication this year). When I was driving home at dusk, it was pretty cloudy. Right as I drove under a bridge, the sun broke through the clouds, illuminating all the tiny dandelion seeds floating on the air for a split second. At that exact moment, the first verse of one of my favorite songs started playing on the radio:

Remember when you were young

You shone like the sun

I'm sorry Syd Barrett went crazy and all, but that was awesome.

Get Off My Lawn!

2006-05-23T16:21:00.001-04:00

Guns N' Roses is conspiring to make me feel old.

Really.

It all started last year, when I went to a club to see a FOAF's band that was coming to town. It was an 18-and-up show, and the girl working the door looked to be about nineteen. I noticed she was wearing a Guns N' Roses T-shirt - a shirt that I used to own. A shirt, in fact, that I bought after seeing them in Dayton, OH my junior year in high school - I remember it was right in the middle of mid-term exams, and due to what I can only assume was one of Axl Rose's trademark hissy fits, the show started about three hours late. I didn't get home until almost 4 o'clock in the morning, and I bombed my biology exam.

The problem was, this girl wasn't wearing the shirt in a "Hey-I-went-to-this-show" way - she was wearing it in a "I'm-so-retro-with-this-vintage-shirt-and-my-Hot-Topic- leopard-print-handbag" way. When I said, "Hey, I used to have that same shirt", she gave me a look that said "That's great, Gramps, try not to fall down and break your hip on our dance floor". Then, while flipping past MTV a few days later, I saw some snot-nosed punk wearing another G'N'R shirt I owned in high school - a shirt that was made when he was still in diapers.

Friday night I went out with a group of friends to celebrate one couple's tenth anniversary. That freaked me out a little, that I knew some people that had actually been married for ten whole years of their lives. Later that weekend I saw this article about Axl Rose and Tommy Hilfiger getting into a fight (I guess it's good to know that some things never change - namely, Axl Rose's ability to be a two-bit thug), and noticed it contained the following line:

"According to the 44-year-old singer..."

My first thought was, "Wait, that can't be right. That would mean the heyday of G'N'R was almost twenty years ago." So, I went to Wikipedia and looked it up. Appetite For Destruction came out in 1987.

Nineteen years ago.

Shit.

I bought that album the summer before I started high school. I vividly remember wearing my Walkman while mowing the lawn, listening to that album at full blast all summer.

Shit.

On top of all this, Axl Rose's appearance isn't helping matters any.

No Recess

2006-05-14T20:45:00.001-04:00

My bathroom sink was stopped up last week, so I poured some drain opener down it, but that didn't work. Later on in the day I went to the hardware store and bought some industrial-strength drain opener and a drain auger. I put some of the wicked cautic drain opener down the sink and go to work with the drain auger. It starts to drain after a few minutes, so I was happy - until I hear a funny noise and notice that there's water leaking onto the floor. I open the cabinet under the sink, and realize that I punched a hole in the P-trap with the drain auger. After much cursing I get everything cleaned up and think, "Okay, I've seen every episode of Ask This Old House, I can handle replacing a P-trap". I go downstairs and get the Stillson wrench and start taking the pipes apart, and they're so old that they're literally crumbling. After a couple more trips to the hardware store I get sick of messing with it and decide I'll just call the plumber tommorrow (Luckily I have another bathroom I can use). So later on I'm sitting around watching that David Blaine special. It gets right to the end of the show and I hear an odd noise from the kitchen - I get up and turn on the light and see water pouring down the wall from my ceiling. I run upstairs to the bathroom and see water pouring out of the sink cabinet. I start throwing towels down as fast as I can, and notice that they are rapidly changing colors. It seems that the plumbing systems are connected for the adjoining units in my complex - my neighbor noticed her sink was running slow, so she decided to pour bleach and hot water down the drain, where it proceeded to run directly out onto my bathroom floor and down into the kitchen. On top of that, one of the cats must have gotten into some of the water that dripped onto the counter and proceeded to crap and throw up all over the house, and my hands reeked of bleach for two days. Now I'm gonna have to rip all the carpet out of the bathroom and put down tile or something. Sheesh.

The only good part of the past week was that I got to spend all day Saturday with my Mom to celebrate Mother's Day. While all my sisters ever bring to her house are minivans full of screaming kids, I took a different approach:

Two dozen roses - no wonder I'm the favorite.

I'm A Pincushion, Gotta Face the Facts

2006-05-04T23:47:00.001-04:00

Hey all. Sorry for the lack of updates, but school has been kicking my butt this quarter, and it's gonna get worse before it gets better - I've got a mid-term on Sunday. While that definitely doesn't help my stress level, today I went to the doctor for my annual check-up and got inspected, poked, prodded, folded, stapled and mutilated, which is one of my least favorite things. Then my roommate tells me he's going to be moving out in a couple of months - not on bad terms or anything, he just wants to be closer to school & work (gas prices are killing him) so that will necessitate some belt-tightening on my part. It's kind of a catch-22, because I often thought that it would be nice to have the place all to myself and that I was getting a little old to have a roommate, but he's one of my best friends and we've lived together for seven years, so I'm sure it'll be weird when he's gone. Overall, not the best week.

Anyways, I stopped by my friendly local soul-sucking SuperUltraMegaMart for something the other day, and some guy was in the parking lot hawking CD's. Turns out he was part of a local group of rappers (what's the plural of "rappers"? Gaggle? Troop? Pod?) who've had some success locally with a song about the city that's gotten some airplay on the radio and used on some locally-produced TV shows (I think I heard it the other day on one of the local sports wrap-up shows). I gave him a few bucks for a CD, and noticed something: It looked damn good. I remember the days when my friends who were in bands would record to a Portastudio and spend hours dubbing tapes on their boomboxes and xeroxing black-and-white inserts. The CD I bought had a full-color laser printed cover that looked like it was shot by a professional photographer. I also noticed that it wasn't only a CD, it was also a "DVD magazine", so apparently there's some video content on it as well, although I haven't had a chance to look at that yet. The CD, along with the fact that I've been obsessed with podcasts lately, has me thinking about how far we've come in terms of producing and distributing content in the last twenty years, and how Hollywood and the RIAA are only trying to make things more difficult. But I realized it doesn't matter: I'm to the point were I could almost cut off my cable TV service and throw away all my radios & CD players, and I wouldn't really miss any of them. High-speed Internet access is dirt cheap, and if I was so inclined I could easily grab any TV shows I wanted via BitTorrent or Emule. Almost all of my radio listening has been replaced by podcasts - (the few show I do listen via a radio to are also available as podcasts if I wanted them). Spending as much time on the web as I do, a local band with a well-promoted website has a better chance of me noticing them than a giant cardboard cutout for the latest manufactured pop star at Blockbuster. I transfer all of this content, as well as files ripped from DVD's that I legally purchased, to my cell phone (although some people want to make that illegal). The entertainment industry is trying to hang on as long as they can, as evidenced by the many news stories that have been circulating in recent weeks. I urge you to get involved in protecting your rights by calling or writing your representatives or getting involved (at least read up!) via the many organizations and groups dedicated to consumer's rights.

Like A Wheel, Gonna Spin It

2006-04-26T00:35:00.001-04:00

I spent the weekend in that weird state that occurs when you stay awake so long that your body resigns itself that sleep is just not going to happen, and your mind is pumped so full of caffeine that it's going 100 miles an hour. The bad part is, the reason was that I was cramming for a mid-term, and it didn't even happen (it was delayed for a couple weeks). I was so wired that I couldn't fall asleep for hours after I got home, although I eventually collapsed and slept for 14 hours straight.

Some closure/addendums to previous issues:

I blew out the cords in another tire the other day, and it was the last straw - I've been going through a set of low-profile tires every year at $700 a set, and I could pretty much count on destroying at least two tires before their life expectancy was up. I got the factory rims out of the shed and had them put back on. They don't look cool, but I figure it's one less thing I have to worry about. After that, I spent the afternoon repairing the banister I ripped out of the wall the other day.

I finally got around to picking up the supplies to give the bike an oil change, although I didn't enjoy the trip - In my experience, there are two kinds of motorcycle dealerships: ones that are purely sales oriented, run by profiteers and staffed by idiots. The second kind is usually smaller, run by people who love motorcycling/powersports and staffed by people who genuinely want to be ambassadors to the sport. The shop I went to was part of a chain in my area that is firmly in the first camp - the salesmen eyed me like vultures as I walked in, and the parts guy, while friendly enough, was clueless. As a former employee of one of the helpful shops, it was like chewing on tinfoil.

Finally, as an amateur photographer, I recently came across unphotographable.com and was fascinated. It reminded me that while a picture may be worth a thousands words, it's no match for the imagination...

Little Baby Goes Ha! (All Night Long)

2006-04-21T00:19:00.001-04:00

I was hoping to get the bike out during the great weather this week, but I managed to trip and fall down the stairs, ripping the banister out of the wall & tweaking my ankle pretty good in the process. Besides being gimpy, I had a mid-term this week and was pet-sitting for some friends while they took care of something:

Congrats, Scotty & Jen!

Indiscriminate? I'd Rather Be Elite

2006-04-19T02:35:00.001-04:00

And you thought your rat bike was hardcore...

(via Make)

100 Miles 100,000 Miles and Runnin'

2006-04-15T21:33:00.001-04:00

On the way home from work Thursday:

I guess the Honda's officially broken in. Here's to another 100K...

When She's Ten Feet Tall

2006-04-14T03:34:00.001-04:00

I read in an article that Volkswagen will return to using the "Rabbit" badge on the (former) Golf:

"The reintroduction of the Rabbit represents Volkswagen's commitment to this market and is a nod to the passionate North American enthusiasts who have an emotional connection with the Rabbit name."

I found this amusing because, as much as I love Volkswagens, I only have two memories regarding the "Rabbit name":

-One of my friends had a brother-in-law with a disastrous history of Volkswagen ownership, from a Karmann Ghia that is probably still rusting into a pile of dust on his mother-in-laws patio to a silver Rabbit that was a gigantic shitbox. Unaffectionately referred to as "The Ribbit", It had to be pop-started every single time he wanted to go anywhere, passengers were sickened from the multiple exhaust leaks, and the odds of making it to the intended destination were about 50/50 at best. He quickly became the guy that, when he called your house, you had to coarsely whisper "Tell him I'm not here!" to whoever answered the phone - otherwise, you invariably wound up driving to BFE to rescue him from another breakdown.

-Another friend of mine tragically lost her mother at a young age after an extended illness. However, due to prudent planning by her father, as well as a generous life insurance policy from her employer, the family was left in a very good situation financially. After my friend graduated high school, she was excited to be attending Ohio State University in the fall. Her father gave her some good news: He was going to buy her a new car to take to college. She was thrilled; her head was filled with images of her tooling around campus in her new candy-apple-red convertible, getting looks from all the college hunks. Figuring that they would start car shopping soon, she was understandably surprised when her father, with no advanced warning, brought home her new car just a few days later: A brand new Rabbit. In turd brown. With no options - nothing. 4-speed, no A/C, vinyl seats, AM radio. To him, this was an immensely practical purchase (after all, this was at the height of the Carter's energy crisis). Trouble is, he forgot that "practical" is the last word in a 19-year-old-girl's vocabulary. Naturally, she hated the car, but cared about her father's feelings too much to say anything. She drove that fugly thing for years and, much later, admitted that it had actually been a pretty good car. But she still would have rather had a new Camaro.

I Like To Be There When I Can

2006-04-11T04:58:00.001-04:00

Back to normal - it was a crazy week, but I got to catch up with friends & family & spend time with my nieces & goddaughter, so that was fun. I got some DVD's (a few that I'll probably talk about here, after I watch them) but since most of my hobbies revolve around tech or music and my family is brain dead in that regard, everyone just gives me cash, which I combined with some Rat Shack gift cards from a mail-in rebate (that I had given up hope on receiving) to buy these:

The headphones are Bluetooth, which I think is the one of the coolest technologies to come around in a while (I know it's not exactly new, but I haven't had much experience with it until recently). When I got my Mac I thought it was extremely cool that I could sync my Treo from anywhere in the house without hooking up any wires, and now I can plug a tiny transmitter into my MP3 player/Treo/home stereo/computer and not have to deal with any wires at all (handy when I'm out & about, or at work). I also bought some software for the Mac, and found some other apps that will hopefully allow me to convert video recordings from my computer (running Beyond TV) to watch on the go. Man, I'm a geek - hopefully I will be getting the bike roadworthy this week, that should get me more in touch with my macho side...

Take A Cha-Cha-Cha-Chance

2006-04-06T00:20:00.001-04:00

Sorry for the lack of content folks, it's my birthday this week and I've been enjoying spending time & catching up with friends & family in the real world (something I don't get to do often enough). Plus, I haven't paid for a dinner all week - bonus! I order all of you to go out and have some fun of your own, dammit!

Keep Your Hands Off My Stack

2006-04-01T00:08:00.001-05:00

I seem to be hemorrhaging money lately - Besides all the usual bills this month, I was hit with a $200 assessment from the condo association for a new roof, my books for next quarter cost me $198, $158 went to the BMV for new tags, my notary commission needs to be renewed at $65, and, for the first time in my life, I had to pay money to the IRS. This was mostly due to a small inheritance from my father that bumped me up into a new tax bracket - an inheritance that was just enough to bury him and pay for the central air system that crapped out two days after I got the check. All of this is even after I had them withhold 10% of the inheritance money towards taxes, plus I usually take zero deductions and have an extra $10 taken out of my check every week so I get a healthy refund. All in all I managed to blow through over a grand in unexpected expenses in about a week. Ah well.

I haven't had much time to devote to guitar lately, what with finals and all, but since I know some of you guys are interested in various ways to make noise, I thought I'd showcase some of my gear. I think I've mentioned all the guitars, so here are the amps and what has made its way onto my pedalboard, with my thoughts:

The Pedals:

1.) Rocktron Hush - Simple but effective noise gate.

2.) Johnson Switch - controls the clean/dirty channel on my Fender Champion 110.

3.) Boss FZ-2 Hyper Fuzz - The guy at the pawn shop threw it in cheap when I bought my amp. I've really only found it useful when teamed with a more conventional fuzz pedal like the Big Muff - together they can create a cool sludge-rock sound. otherwise it just sounds like static from a transistor radio added to the signal.

4.) Dod FX-30B Gate/Loop - I'm not using the gate side, I mainly intend to use this as an effects loop for all the dirt boxes, but I haven't gotten around to rewiring the board for it yet.

5.) Electro Harmonix Big Muff Pi (Russian) - One of my favorites. I had a Russian-made model from the 80's a long time ago, I'm glad to say this one sounds even better. You can get everything from Hendrix to Brit-pop to metal with one of these.

6.) Guyatone MD-3 Digital Delay - actually sent to me by accident by an eBay seller that I bought another (much cheaper) item from, he decided to let me keep it rather than mess with shipping it back. Delays aren't real high up on my personal "useful" list of effects. but for free it's fun to play around with and get space-rock noises out of.

7.) Expression pedal for my Zoom 505.

8.) Danelectro DJ-14 Fish & Chips Equalizer - One of the cheapest pedals on my board, and probably the most useful. Nice for tweaking or as a clean boost pedal. These little Danelectro boxes are around $20 and are a great deal, just don't stomp on 'em too hard.

9.)Danelectro DJ-9 Surf & Turf Compressor - Picked it up on eBay for $10. Nice for stuff with a lot switching between clean and dirty sounds.

10.) Rocktron Silver Dragon - My latest addition, and one of my favorites. Actually two pedals in one case - a tube-preamp on the left and a solid-state distortion on the right. most opinions on low-voltage tube preamps seem to either be "complete & utter snake-oil" or "best thing since sliced bread" - I'm probably somewhere in between, but it definitely seems to add a nice warm tone to my solid-state amps. When teamed with the distortion, it can produce the sound of a hundred cats being set on fire in a steel dumpster - which is to say, I like it. The only drawback is it has a huge 14-volt wall wart adapter, so I can't use my 1-spot.

11.) Control switch for Behringer V-Amp2 - see below.

12.) Zoom 505II Multi-Effects - The first effect I bought, with the idea "If I buy this, I won't need to spend money on separate effects pedals". Yeah, right. Still nice to have to play around with effects that I haven't yet been able to talk myself into, like ring mods and envelope followers. Also nice since it fits in a gig bag, keeping me from hauling around the whole pedalboard if I want to go to a friend's house.

The Amps:

1.) Danelectro Honeytone - I remember when these came out and I wanted one but couldn't convince myself to drop $40 on it. I wound up finding this one on eBay for $10, and it would have been a bargain at the original price - gives really cool vintage overdriven tube sounds (well, as close as you're likely get for $10) at volumes that won't have the police at my door.

2.) Behringer V-Amp2 - I just got this, and honestly haven't had much time to play with it yet, but from what I've seen it's really cool. The V-Amp2 is an amp modeller, allowing you to get the sound of everything from a Marshall stack to a vintage Vox in a tiny digital package. The V-Amp is akin to the wildly popular Line6 Pod series, at a much lower price. The biggest gripe people seem to have with Behringer is hit-or-miss quality control, so time will tell.

3.) Fender Champion 110 - I've talked about this amp here before, basically it's your standard small practice amp, but it does a nice job with that legendary clean "Fender sound". Sometime when I get brave enough I plan to replace the speaker with one of the specialty models from Eminence, but that's a way down the road...

Life Sucks, Wear A Helmet

2006-03-30T00:15:00.001-05:00

Both Lucky and Red mentioned helmets recently, and it reminded me of something I go through every spring: The search for the perfect helmet. Currently I have a basic black no-frills Bieffe full-face as my cold weather/long distance helmet, and an even more basic M2R half helmet as my around-town lid. I'm not crazy about the M2R, I bought it because it was the cheapest thing in the shop at the time, and the Bieffe has seen better days (especially after I loaned it to Adam when we went kart racing, and he chucked it across the room during a shouting match with an official regarding "excessive contact".) The problem is twofold: I can't decide on a style (I don't like the lack of protection half helmets offer my oh-so-pretty face, but I feel claustrophobic in full-face helmets) and two, I'm cheap (have you seen the prices on some of these things?!?) But, here are the ones currently being considered:

Simpson Outlaw Bandit

-Probably my favorite as far as looks go, the main drawback is price: $400+ for one of these. Needless to say, that's not gonna happen. However, it is the closest I can get to the coolest helmet of all time:

-Another alternative I found lately are Craft Helmets, which have the look of the Outlaw, and are offered in more finishes:

Craft RX-6

Craft RXX-3

-These are a little more reasonable, at around $250 apiece. Still a bit pricey for me, and I like to try helmets on before buying, and they are almost impossible to find in the states (apparently they are big in Europe, but anyone willing to ship to the USA wants almost $100 shipping).

KBC Wolf

-The KBC Wolf is another contender, especially since you can find them for around a hundred bucks since they are being closed out. The main problem is that I like the "Black Chrome" finish the most, and of course that one is impossible to find. Also, I would have to buy a mirrored visor for it, so that's another $40. The sad thing is I used to have one of these - my parents won one as a door prize at a bike show and gave it to me. I had several newer helmets at the time and needed the cash, so I sold it on eBay.

Nolan N42

-The Nolan N42 is the only open-face model I've come across that is in the running. It's decent looking, and the separate tinted visor is a nice touch - it could solve the problem I have with the glasses/contacts issue (I don't have prescription sunglasses, so if I know I'm going to be on the bike all day I'll wear contacts, but I don't care for them.) I have goggles that fit over my glasses, but they tend to fog up and look stupid. (I'm due for an eye exam, maybe I'll just spring for a set of prescription goggles and be done with it).

The likely conclusion is that I won't buy any of these, unless I get an amazing tax return or find a killer deal somewhere. Anyone who has any experience/opinions with any of these of any others you think I'd like, speak up...

Bike Week Pics

2006-03-26T23:31:00.001-05:00

We kinda forgot that he even went to Bike Week, what with the excitement and all, but my Stepdad did burn a CD for me with the pictures he took there. He's a Harley guy, so obviously that's gonna be his focus (well, that and titties) but you're just going to have to deal with that. Here's the highlights - I will narrate to the best of my ability, considering I wasn't there. I should also point out that he refuses to give up his ancient Sony Mavica digital camera that uses 3.5" floppy disks, so the image quality might be worse than you're used to. Anyways, here we go:

Cool retro bobber. Need to lose that front brake, though.

Another one - cool panhead engine, but I'm not really feeling the green wheels. And I hate peanut tanks.

The green looks better on her.

Apparently this is Harley's new model, The FLHX Street Glide. Kind of a stripped-down touring bike.

Demo bikes at the Harley tent. Papaw said he rode all the Harleys as well as a Moto Guzzi, which kinda surprised me. Sounded like he was impressed.

Cool paint scheme on a Road King - he's considering something like this for his Electra Glide. I don't think Harley uses the black/orange scheme enough - all you see it on lately is the Sportsters.

One of the helpful staff at the refreshment stand.

A Boss Hoss - I'm sorry, I guess these are neat in a "Let's-see-if-we-can-do-it" kinda way, but man, are they ugly.

That's a V-Rod with a sidecar and a freaky custom front end. Like they didn't look weird enough to start with...

Now that's a rear tire. Do you even need a kickstand with that thing?

If a Hummer just isn't manly enough for you, you can by a Ford F-650 dump truck converted with a standard bed & semi tires. I guess these start at $89,999. Sounds reasonable to me.

I knew when Florida repealed its helmet law this would happen...

Crazy-ass chromed out Hayabusa with a turbocharger and extended swingarm.

Apparently you can get Hemi head kits for Harley engines now. Sounds pretty trick, but pricey.

Auugh!!! My eyes!!! Yes, that two V-twins in one frame. How'd you like to try the box on that?!?

Riders waiting to take a parade lap at the Speedway.

Valentino Rossi's 600cc race bike. I'm digging the retro anniversary paint job.

Cool subtle bagger - Check out the details like frenched lights and anodized crash bars.

That's all for now - I'm planning on heading down with him in the next year or two (I figure I should check it out at least once...)

With A Bocephus Sticker On His 442

2006-03-23T02:00:00.001-05:00

Coop had a great post the other day on being a child of the 70's and America's fascination with all things motorized during that era - it seemed to resonate with a lot of people, myself included. It brought back one memory in particular: You see, when I was a kid, I took things apart. I mean, I took everything apart - my toys, old appliances, my bike, you name it. I vividly remember being yelled at for taking apart the blender when I was eight years old. My parents, to their credit, understood that I was simply trying to understand how things worked, and proceeded to buy me toys that addressed these urges - Lego, Robotix, Capsella, Erector Sets, Radio Shack project kits - you name it, I had it. Every year for Christmas I could count on getting one of the giant deluxe Lego sets, which was the coolest thing ever. (I still remember my Dad cursing when he would step on one of the small Lego bits when he was barefoot - those tiny 1 x 2 blocks were easily obscured in the long, avocado-green shag carpeting that came standard in every middle class suburban house back then). Still, these were only toys, and I wanted the real stuff - my Mom took to buying almost-certainly-broken small appliances for a quarter apiece at garage sales solely for me to take apart, since it was cheaper & easier than replacing her own. The flip side of this affliction was that I liked to build things - after I took the appliances apart, I would strip any usable motors, lengths of wire, switches, etc. and put them aside for later projects. I wouldn't have access to stuff like project boxes, soldering irons and two-stage epoxy until years later, so most of my breadboarding was done on slabs of cardboard cut from old boxes, and everything was held together with copious amounts of tape - to this day, one of my family's affectionate nicknames for me is "Dr. Tape".

Anyways, I remember seeing top-fuel dragsters on TV one weekend during summer vacation, and it was the coolest thing ever. The cars looked liked the fantasy-series Hot Wheels I had in my prized fold-up Hot Wheels City playset (thanks Grandma!) And the coolest thing: drouge chutes! On a car! I instantly knew that that was the most awesome part, so I set out to do the only reasonable thing I could do, given my penchant for tinkering: put a parachute on my bicycle.

The first stage was to gather materials: The body of the parachute was easier than I thought - after considering how severe my punishment would be if one of the good umbrellas went missing, I happened to notice a large rubber ball that had been floating around the house/garage/basement - it was one of those big cheap ones, close to 3 feet around, that they sell in the huge wire cage in the toy section of the discount store for a couple of bucks. It had a slow leak and was going flat, so nobody would miss it. I cut it neatly in half, and bingo - there was the chute. The lines were provided by another important staple in my bag of tricks - a length of Mom's spare clothesline. (Mom took to buying lots of extra clothesline too, since I used most of it). I carefully cut holes around the perimeter of the ball and tied lines through the holes, then tied all the lines together. Voila! Now I only had to deal with the problem of deployment. After considering various complicated ways to attach my new parachute to my banana seat, I decided to go for simplicity: I tied it around my belt, and crammed the chute in my back pocket. When the time arrived, I would simply reach back and yank the chute free.

I got up a head of steam on my Huffy on the sidewalk in front of my house. When I was sure I was going roughly close to 300+ MPH, I reached back, grabbed the corner of the chute that was sticking out of my pocket, and flung it out behind me. I heard the satisfying *whoomph*! of a parachute rapidly filling with air. It worked! In fact, it worked a little too well - I stopped instantly, and the bike was yanked out of my hands and kept going. It felt like I hovered in the air for a full second before I came crashing to the sidewalk, incurring one of the many full-body "concrete exfoliation treatments" I was to receive in the course of my youth. I particularly remember hurting my left hand during this episode, and 20+ years later, when having the same hand X-rayed after an injury, the doctor commented "So, you've broken this hand before". I told him no, not to my knowledge. He said "Oh yes, at least once before, a long time ago". My mind instantly flashed back to the parachute episode, and I couldn't help but think "Damn, I bet that was a cool-looking crash".

Four Months Later

2006-03-21T17:59:00.001-05:00

Just a note to mention some corrections/addendum to my motorcycle enclosure review. Apparently people are finding the page when searching for product reviews for that type of thing, so I wanted to give my impressions after living with it for a while...

The Dorkcycle

2006-03-18T23:38:00.001-05:00

As an engineer (okay, I don't actually have an engineering degree, what with the being retarded in math and all - but my job title does have "engineer" in it, so back off, Poindexter!) I occasionally come across a product that impresses me on that level - it's rare, since the engineers must have to smuggle it out under cover of darkness before the marketing weasels find out about it and proceed to cram if full of "value added" features that focus groups indicated were a good idea. (These focus groups are usually composed of soccer moms and idiots, two groups of people I don't need designing my products). An impressive product doesn't have to be rocket science, and more often than not it's something that solves a problem as simply and elegantly as possible. One of the things I've been hoping to do for a couple of years now is to shoot some video from my motorcycle - since I have lots of video equipment and plenty of cheap "spy-cam" type cameras, you would think this would be pretty easy. Unfortunately, one of the disadvantages of dirt-cheap foreign electronics is that sometimes, the only person who can give you specs for things like voltage and adapters is the guy in the Chinese sweatshop who has the blueprints in his desk. After trying to cobble together an external lens for use with my video camera (since I'm too cheap to buy one of the pre-made kits), I decided to explore different options, such as mounting the camera directly on the bike - a dicey proposition, since my video camera is one of my prized possessions.

I first came across the RAM Mount page a few years ago, after seeing some Iron Butt-type BMW aficionados talking about them on a forum. I decided to give it a shot, and was extremely impressed with the quality of the gear - they have systems to mount everything from laptops to cameras to cell phones on cars, motorcycles, ATV's - even airplanes. One thing I really appreciate is that it's all modular - while you can by a pre-assembled kit, you don't have too - I bought a 1" tube mount (for the handlebars), a 1.5" tube mount (for the frame), an arm, a suction-cup mount (for the gas tank) and a camera base. The stuff is simple, solid as a rock, and cheap to boot. I have no doubt that I will be returning to their website to buy more components so I can transfer everything to my car, as well as mounts for my cell phone, MP3 player, etc. RAM knows where its bread is buttered and now offers many of it's motorcycle-oriented components with a chrome finish, which even I think is a bit ridiculous (and I'm putting the Kuryakyn family's kids through college). But the interesting thing I noticed on their website was this picture:

Now, this picture is obviously meant to illustrate the many different types of devices that could potentially fit on a given motorcycle. You'd have to be insane to actually try to ride a bike with that many gadgets & gizmos on it at once. But I got to thinking: That would kick serious ass. My friends know that although I can do a halfway decent biker impression, I'm still just a dork at heart - you're telling me I can combine geek toys and motorcycles?!? I think I need to get one of the bikes that is favored by the ultra-utilitarian-function-over-form high mileage wierdos, like a Honda ST1100, Yamaha FJ1100, or Kawasaki Concours (although some of the really weird ones go for exceptionally freaky bikes, like the Pacific Coast or the GTS1000) and just load that sucker up. All I would need is an auxiliary tank and I'd be in business. Maybe if I souped it up I could compete with the ultimate dorkcycle...

Floating Downstream

2006-03-13T16:06:00.001-05:00

Well, I'm out of the panic mode I was in for most of the past week. I went to the doctor today and he worked on me & gave me some meds that will hopefully clear up my problems. I was just a little freaked out because it involved a part of my body that, once you reach a certain age, you do not take chances with - you get any anomalies checked out toot sweet. It also would have severely limited my ability to go riding this summer, if you get my drift. There's a small chance I might need a follow-up procedure, but hopefully the problem has been rectified (har har). Alright, enough of that.

I spoke to my Stepdad in the hospital today, and although he was pretty morphine'd up he sounded good. Mom got the whole story and apparently after he was napalmed by a load of burning spray paint and gasoline to the face, he drove himself to the hospital, walked into the emergency room with his skin hanging off, and told the nurses "Just patch me up real quick so I can go back to the barn and get back to work". God damn that's hardcore. Needless to say they weren't buying it. As with dealing with any type of burn the greatest risk is infection, more so with him since he got a faceful of superheated Krylon on top of getting burned. They will probably keep him for a few more days, but they said skin grafts won't be necessary and he probably won't have any scarring (I told him that he wasn't really that pretty to start with).

I missed the warmest temps of the year this week by being practically bedridden, the only consolation is that we got walloped pretty steadily by thunderstorms so I probably couldn't have gotten any riding in anyway. I still haven't gotten in the parts I need for the camera rig I mentioned - the guy I was dealing with on that was kinda dicey from the start, but that's a story for another time. I have, however, gotten lots of new guitar/effects gear lately, so hopefully I can do a write-up with some pics of that stuff later in the week for those of you who are interested. But now, I really need to study for my final, okay?

Real Life is a Drag

2006-03-11T16:36:00.001-05:00

Hey guys -

Sorry for the lack of content lately. Unfortunately I have had some health issues develop in the past week that have been pretty distracting - I'm getting checked out on Monday. On top of that, my stepfather was injured on Saturday - he was headed home from bike week and stopped at a small piece of property my parents own in the mountains of Tennessee to do some cleanup work. He was throwing several bags of trash on the fire (S.O.P. in those parts - trash pickup isn't even available) and apparently there were some aerosol cans from last year in one of the bags that he didn't know about. They exploded, resulting in burns to his face and upper body. Everything has been a big game of phone tag at this point and we really don't know what the situation is yet. Mom & his father are headed down there. I will post updates as soon as I know anything, and any mojo that you can spare for my family is appreciated...

I Almost Forgot...

2006-03-06T12:24:00.001-05:00

...if you're a Simpsons fan, this about the coolest thing ever.

One For You, Nineteen For Me

2006-03-06T11:49:00.001-05:00

...so I've been up to my eyeballs in paperwork for the past week. Tax time is looming, and due to dealing with buying a home, probate court, my own financial crises, etc., most of my pertinent paperwork from the past year is spread out in a wide swath from one end of the house to the other. I've finally got it all corralled into one central area, but now it needs to be sorted, collated, folded, stapled, and mutilated until it resembles something I won't be horribly embarrassed to give to the fine professionals down at the H&R Block (although I'm thinking of buying some of that fancy software and doing it myself this year, 'cause I'm a glutton for punishment).

-Just some random miscellany of interest:

-Family members are taking part in the revelry at Daytona as we speak - I'll post any pictures that make it my way when they return.

-I have some bits n' pieces on the way that will hopefully allow me to shoot some cool motorcycle videos as soon as the weather breaks - if everything works out, I will post the camera rig as a project file and hopefully get out on the road with it in the next few weeks.

-I received iLife '06, and it is a big improvement. I haven't had much of a chance to play with iWeb yet, but I'm thinking of using it to greatly expand this site, since I have some free webspace that I'm not using. We'll see.

-Not much on the music front except I got a killer deal on an iControl for Garageband, hopefully it will inspire me to record some stuff I can share with you guys.

I've got finals in a week, so I might be scarce until then...

On Blogging

2006-02-27T09:07:00.001-05:00

I came across the following from Iggy's via Wil:

Somebody was once asked to define blogs. They refused and said:

I don’t care. There is no need to define “blog.” I doubt there ever was such a call to define “newspaper” or “television” or “radio” or “book” — or, for that matter, “telephone” or “instant messenger.” A blog is merely a tool that lets you do anything from change the world to share your shopping list. People will use it however they wish. And it is way too soon in the invention of uses for this tool to limit it with a set definition. That’s why I resist even calling it a medium; it is a means of sharing information and also of interacting: It’s more about conversation than content… so far. I think it is equally tiresome and useless to argue about whether blogs are journalism, for journalism is not limited by the tool or medium or person used in the act. Blogs are whatever they want to be. Blogs are whatever we make them. Defining “blog” is a fool’s errand.

I agree with the sentiment, and just want to point out that I recently came across the two most brilliant blogs on the planet:

Blog 1

Blog 2

Ve Vant Zee Money, Lebowski!

2006-02-24T00:28:00.001-05:00

These commercials have three things I like: Volkswagens (although sadly these aren't vintage aircooled), Peter Stomare, and stuff gettin' smashed.

Cleansing Waters of Lake Minnetonka

2006-02-18T01:23:00.001-05:00

...so after my previous post mocking people who abuse sick leave, I get a butt-kicking case of the flu. Okay, ha ha, I can appreciate the irony. Well, after I got over that, I was healthy for approximately 48 hours before getting hit with a head cold that would bring down a bull elephant. I felt so bad all week I was seriously expecting Dustin Hoffman in a hazmat suit to come busting through my door. Remind me not to make anymore blog postings that tempt fate, okay?

We had a beautiful day on Thursday when it almost made it to 60 degrees, then BAM, we're right back in the twenties. I hate this time of year - you know the weather is about to break, you can feel it, you're ready, and Mother Nature puts the smack down on you. Regardless, I think I'll swing by the dealer this week and get the supplies to give the bike an oil change for when we turn the corner.

The title of this post is in reference to a confession I have to make that I hope won't damage my metalhead credentials too much: I am a huge Prince fan. This is probably due to the influence of my sisters, who are both huge fans. I forced my Mom to take me to see Purple Rain in the theater when I was ten (And yes, there are few things as awkward as being a ten-year-old boy, sitting next to your mother in a movie theater, watching a graphic sex scene starring Prince and Apollonia). Granted, his newer stuff has kinda gone off in a direction that I'm not following, but I think everything from Diamonds & Pearls and earlier is amazing. Unfortunately, the man lets his freak flag fly so high that most people never realize how talented of a musician he is. What got me thinking about this? Well, since I've been mostly in a 'guitar' state of mind lately, I was browsing one of the guitar forums and someone pointed me in the direction of this video from the 2004 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame ceremonies. It's an all-star rendition of "While My Guitar Gently Weeps". Prince is onstage with Tom Petty, Jeff Lynne, and Dhani Harrison (who looks so much like his father it's eerie), and he absolutely destroys the place. It's some of the most amazing playing I've heard, which is saying something, seeing as I consider the original version to be one of Eric Clapton's finest moments. Shortly after this video was making the rounds on the Internet, Prince appeared as the musical guest on Saturday Night Live and tore it up again. I've never been fortunate enough to see him live, but I've heard he can do it with just about any instrument - he picks up a guitar and he's Hendrix. He goes to the drum kit and he's Keith Moon. Put him in from of a keyboard and he's Rick Wakeman. Not bad for a guy who's entirely self-taught. I find it funny that after the crash-and-burn of hair metal, one of the few people turning out quality guitar-driven rock is a guy who spent the better part of the hair-metal decade named after a squiggly symbol.

...and for some hilarious insight into the mind of His Royal Badness, I highly recommend checking out Kevin Smith's account of his brief time spent working for Prince at Paisley Park on the Evening With Kevin Smith DVD. (Someone has transcribed it here, but it's a much funnier to watch than to read).

General Discontent

Ain't No Time To Hate

Comic-Con Fans Scare Away Westboro Baptist Church

"The Westboro idiots made the mistake of stepping into someoneelse's absurdity, so mocking was the completely appropriateresponse".

Good job, guys.

Looking Through A Glass Onion

Thank You

With A Sword And A Pistol By His Side

Nobody Knows Anything About My Existence

Every Picture Tells A Story Don't It

Project Files: High Voltage

Contents:

Bent All Out Of Shape

Hey Bulldog Woof

I Spent Some Time In The Mudville Nine

Fixing A Hole

...And The Piper At The Gates of Dawn

So anyways...

Chillaxin'

Want To Entertain Your Cats?

Express Yourself

Pumpkins Scream In The Dead Of Night

Project Files: Everyday I'm At My Desk

Workin' For A Living

Hey Little Sister, What Have You Done?

No One There To Tell Us What To Do

Goin' To The Chapel

Don't Shoot Shoot Shoot That Thing At Me

I Must Get Round To It

Look For The Girl With The Sun In Her Eyes

My Homeboys Tried To Warn Me...

She Said Yes

You Just Don't Get It, Keep It Copasetic

Jaws Was Never My Scene

Make It Shallow So That I Can Feel The Rain

Strangest Your Momma Joke Ever...

Project Files: Ridin' The Porcelain Bus

Perhaps They'll Listen Now

Canned Heat In My Heels Tonight

Call For Super Chicken

Life Sucks, Wear A Helmet

R.I.P. VW Bus

Whatever It Takes To Make It Hardcore

Fresh Ink

On The Road Again

How To Spend $1300 Without Really Trying

Little Mac says 'Help me, Doc!!'

Picture Book, Picture Book

Take A Long Ride On My Motorbike

RIP 1922 - 2007

When She's Ten Feet Tall

Ch-ch-ch-changes

The New Whip

I Remember As If It Were A Meal Ago

Leaving Just A Memory

I Felt Like This On My Way Home

The Sunday Swap Meet Is A Battle Ground

Father Christmas, Give Us Some Money

You Can't Tuna Fish

Smell The Glove

Thinking 'bout The People Upside-Down In Japan

One Arm Wing Steve...

Steve In The Bread Pan, Pickin' Out Dough...

Aint' No Smoggy Smoke On Rocky Top

Breathe, Breathe In The Air

Lazin' On A Sunny Afternoon...

Born To Be Wild?

On Streets We Call The Zoo

Put The Lime In The Coconut

Fear Is The Heart Of Love

So Much Material, But Not Materialistic

How Can You Have Any Pudding If You Don't Eat Your Meat

One-Armed Paper Hanger

Like A Band Of Gypsies We Go Down The Highway

Like Salsa Picante De Nana Funkenstein

Smashing Through The Boundaries, Lunacy Has Found Me

Beans Don't Burn On The Grill

Alligator Lizards In The Air

Does He Bleed Black & Gold?

Grrrrr...

"The Westboro idiots made the mistake of stepping into someone
else's absurdity, so mocking was the completely appropriate
response".